Sixteen Word Stories
Here's something to amuse yourselves with for five minutes. Write a short, concise story using only sixteen words, in the following format:

One word
Two words
Three words
Four words
Three words
Two words
One word

My example in the replies. Have fun!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:21, 59 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Threat...
in front!
The man lurches
so I shoot him
in the face.
Point blank.
Pow!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:22, Reply)

Tedious.
Good god.
Off Topic's rubbish.
You should join /talk.
We are lovely.
We are.
Join.
( __, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:36, Reply)

Your
mum is
a gay and
so are you, No3l
this isn't MySpace
so kindly
disappear

:D I like this game
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)

good fun!
Oy!
You what?
Come here bastard.
I'm gonna kill ya
Oh, alright then
Right then
Ow!
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:25, Reply)

2nd go

Hell-oooooo!
Sexy thing.
Your place or...
What? Right here? Now?
Well, OK then.
Oooo, yes!
Whoops.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:29, Reply)

hmm
Trumpet!
I burbled
with my bottom.
Must eat less pies.
For lack of
laxative pills
parp!
( rofl harris, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:29, Reply)

ok then
Left

Go left?

Yes I lied

ok thanks for that

he was found

years later

dimembered
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:32, Reply)

love

how niave

I found her

with my best friend

in my bed

i wept

fuckers
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:33, Reply)

Death
is something

that kills you.

So watch out people

Death is not

nice at

all.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:35, Reply)

once

last year

a tree fell

nobody heard it crash

thousands of philosophers

spontaneously combusted

instantly
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:37, Reply)

praise
these
are all
really rather good
my effort is shit
but fuck you
I'm posting
it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:41, Reply)

serve

from left

get it right

they will love you

get it wrong

you die

slowly
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:43, Reply)

...
Necrophillia
Is illegal
Now in England.
Which is a shame.
Not that I
Do it.
Much...
( Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 10:45, Reply)

This is really rather good.
I
once had
a good idea.
It wasn't really though.
Now I am
fixing it.
Bugger.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:01, Reply)

good game
Oh
my god
Did I really ?
I didn't mean to
I must have
Been really
pished
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:03, Reply)

Trains
Went
to the
railway museum at
york, plenty of trains
but it was
quicker to
walk
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:11, Reply)

Hmmm....
I
vill make
a little list.
Vat is your name?
"Don't tell him,
Pike!" Oh,
Bugger.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:14, Reply)

hehe
Grass
eating ruminants
sit on my
face when I stick
out my oversized
wet dribbling
tongue
( rofl harris, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:22, Reply)

...
Aliens
Invaded Earth.
No laser guns,
Just tendrils and stingers.
Easy to kill,
But tasted
Awful.
( Cawl, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Last go

"Gemima.
Come here."
"But I want..."
"I'm counting to three,"
"...to watch funny
monkey playing.
Oh..."


Happy new year by the way folks.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:24, Reply)

fields

or trees

were all here

when i was young

qouth rambling drunk

fuck off

grandad
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:25, Reply)

Proper story
"Nuke
Washington DC?"
"It's the only
way to be sure."
Pushing the button,
I felt
nothing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)

.
Oh
for fuck's
sake. Have you
people got nothing better
to do than
waste time
here?
( thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Mini-classic

That's
some catch,
That catch 22.
We've got your pal
Leave me alone,
I'm running,
away.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:29, Reply)

.
Clendrix
it's ok
We're not wasting
our time we just
haven't got anything
better to
do
( rofl harris, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:31, Reply)

.
Don't
sit in
a quiet pub
shouting 'Pump Action Lube!'
at the top
of your
voice.
( thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:31, Reply)

rapes

only rape

if they dont

push back claimed defendant

he went down

mandatory sentence

life
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)

It
depends on

what you mean

by wasting our time -

it's not wasted

if somebody

laughs.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:32, Reply)

cheese

tastes shit

its mouldy milk

when will they see

its like vomit

only marketed

cunningly
(Halfy By light alone, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:33, Reply)

.
Oh
right then.
Waste your time
on here. God knows
I've lost five
years here
already.
( thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:34, Reply)

I think I'm addicted

Hey!
Brilliant idea
for a story.
You'll really like this,
It's funny, sad,
and sexy.
Arse.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:36, Reply)

What?
You what?
I said, "What?"
Oh yeah? So what?
What oh yeah?
You what?
What?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:52, Reply)

Oopsie.
I

have run

out of coke

appears to have run

out of story

several lines

early.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 11:54, Reply)

OK
STOJ!

Two guys

Both well armed

Draw, fire, sight, fire.

Check for breathing

Both dead.

Drive.
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:20, Reply)

Mushroom
Okay.
I admit:
Pressing the button.
Big bad mushroom clouds.
In my defence....
Thermonuclear armageddon?
Picturesque.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:37, Reply)

Hmm
As

I caressed

the love button

gently I couldn't help

think that this

game was

odd.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:44, Reply)

These are fun!
Trapdoors!
Costume changes!
Concealed cassette players!
Would have gotten away
with it too
curse those
Kids!
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:49, Reply)

w-drive
teenage
girls can
wank me off
anytime they want to
cos i am
a dirty
pervert
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:49, Reply)

Hmmm
I
Showed you
This place before
You're in the backseat.
Last time though
you where
alive
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 12:55, Reply)

.
faster
faster faster
faster faster faster
faster faster faster faster
faster faster faster
faster faster
thanks
(happyjoy last changed sig on, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:15, Reply)

Here goes...

Buongiourno!
Malevolent musings.
Avast! Cuddlesome nubiles!
Monobrow mammalians propositioned. Spurned!
Sarcastic malevolant trodglytes.
Auto-eroticism ensues:
*Spluffs*


[beat that!]
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:24, Reply)

Ex-girlfriend
We

had some

really good times.

You were the one.

But no longer,

because you're

punctured.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:38, Reply)

.
You
punctured me.
Way to go.
Why stick it in
my ear? You
need smaller
holes?
(Flid James carry on, mongs, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 13:44, Reply)

ahem
why
did you
do it, huh?
you scalped my marmoset!
I needed that,
for experiments...
*blubs*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:00, Reply)

Dear
Peter Davidson
Thank you for
your contribution up there.
Now piss off
back to
/talk
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:10, Reply)

Ooh topical.
Bert
Gets His
Angries out in
Off Topic. Now we
Have a debate.
That's quite
Refreshing.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:17, Reply)

:)
Bert
isn't angry.
He just hasn't
got anything out in
ages. He misses
Al. Poor
Bert.
( thealternativefact, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:25, Reply)

...
I
don't know
how to love
I only know how
to give love
and to
lust.

(Sorry- been reading too much of Post Secret lately.)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:31, Reply)

*sobs*
I
Love you
I blurted out
When I woke up
He was gone
Just me
Alone
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 14:36, Reply)

...
I
am not
one of you.
I am not human.
I just look
like I
am.

(Let's see just how emo we can get, shall we?)
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:07, Reply)

emo eh?
just
cut it
no one cares
you fucking whiny cunt
do the world
a favour
die
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:09, Reply)

I can out-emo anyone.
You just have to catch me in the right mood.
( girlinthehole, Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:10, Reply)

...
What
is it?
What do I
do with this thing?
Not eat it.
Fuck it
then.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:16, Reply)

...
She
loves me.
And she sits
on my chest daily.
Her breath smells
of cat
food.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:17, Reply)

...
Why
oh why
did I ever
open up that door?
Now I can't
make it
go.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:19, Reply)

...
Goats?
You are
kidding me, right?
Apparently not, it seems.
I guess you
lot are
weird.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Sit.

Over There.

Mind my feet.

They started to hurt.

Don't know why.

Do you?

No.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Mine
Oh!
What's occuring?
Gavin and Stacey,
I don't get it.
It's not funny.
It's shit.
SHIT!
( SeasonTicketless is too often the statue, and rarely the pigeon., Tue 6 Jan 2009, 17:04, Reply)

OK
I don't care what you think of this, as it's for me.

This thread drew some criticism, but I'm really happy with the result. I've wanted to grow this idea as a Web site and it's proven the idea to me. I also *knew* it'd succeed in OT cos many of us are that kind of person. It's also produced some genuinely amusing results, right up b3ta's alley.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 7 Jan 2009, 21:13, Reply)