It's not a story
But whilst showering this morning, I found a lump on my balls.

I'm going to the doctor tomorrow.

I'm scared.

And drunk.
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 22:55, 21 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Please
Don't be scared, and you're doing the right thing by going to the doctor.

I had a similar scare about 3 years ago. After a couple of encounters with 2 devastatingly attractive female doctors (one for the preliminary exam, the other for the actual ultrasound), it turned out to be a cyst. One which flares up every now and again and is uncomfortable, but a cyst nonetheless.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:06, Reply)

Hello ancrenne!
*snogs*

Is it wrong to have snogs on a post about testicular lumps..?

No..?

*EDIT* and snogs from Tourette's as well.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Yet doing the right thing
good luck to you sir.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Don't worry!
You're doing exactly the right thing by going to see the doc straight away so you've taken control of the situation.

*Most* lumps are entirely benign and nothing whatsoever to worry about.

So try to stop worrying - impossible I know, but save your worrying until you know what you're dealing with.

Good luck.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:25, Reply)

Indeed
And, it is very cureable if caught early.

Good luck tomorrow.

And goodnight all.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:29, Reply)

Well done you
for checking your balls in the first place. Too many men don't.

he says, surreptitously manipulating his balls for the first time in six months
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:31, Reply)

i found a lump as a teen
and was so mortified with embarrasment when the doctor had a feel that my entire package retreated inwards and he was forced to give up.

so i may have tesicular cancer. that said, it was 16 years ago, and i've got two kids and no symptoms, so i think i'm ok
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:40, Reply)

Worst comes to the worst
You lose a ball. Sure it's embarrassing, but it could be worse. After all, it's not AIDS.

/sympathy
( Kroney, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:40, Reply)

I'd better check my balls.

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 12 Jan 2009, 23:54, Reply)

If they remove a testicle
Can you have an extra prosthetic inserted, so it feels like you have three?

Solely to win bets.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 1:03, Reply)

Hang in there, mate
Scary medical shit is tough to get through - have been there as of last year.

I actually know a guy at work who had to have one of his removed - and he is totally fine now. Most likely it is harmless cyst. You are doing the right thing by getting this looked at right away. Try to stay calm, if you can, until you find out what's really going on. But, fuck, I know where you are coming from. Something like this really throws you for a loop. Breathe.
( cackers, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 1:04, Reply)

Good luck
with the balls and the hangover :)
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 6:18, Reply)

Hahahaha
You're going to DIE, or at the very least, you'll be half a man.

*checks balls*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 8:05, Reply)

Have it removed.
Then cook it and eat it.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Mmmm
spunky.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I've had to have a lump checked before
which I discovered at the same time as some aching in the region.

Waiting for the doc's appointment was horrifying, but the relief of having nothing wrong far outweighs the horror of having another man fondling your giggle-berries.

Lump turned out to be nothing, and the aching was glandular
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 16:18, Reply)

glandular because the elastic band was too tight
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 13 Jan 2009, 16:35, Reply)

My housemate
and two other friends of mine each have one ball. They've said that the worst bit by far is getting it checked out. You sound like you've already got that under control so whatever else comes at you, you should be fine. Good man for checking...

@ SLVA - my housemate was offered a prosthetic when his was removed. He refused unless he could get one that sqeaked like a dog toy.
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Tue 13 Jan 2009, 17:02, Reply)

NAD UPDATE
No3L (and I’ll post this again on off-topic)

Thanks for asking about my knackers.

Having been to the doctors, I’ve established the following.

1/ I’m not attracted to silver-haired 50 something men – Which comes as a relief to me, seeing as I’ve spent my time on earth trying to have relationships with women.

2/ It’s not cancer, it’s a cyst. A bloody massive one though, and they’ll be removing it (under local aesthetic) with a needle at a hospital in Swindon – the chances are, there will be several people assisting/observing this ‘procedure’ (I read into that, ‘nurses and students) So in addition to the pain this removal will doubtless cause, my tiny todger will be on display to some of Wiltshire’s medical staff. I don’t expect to find this erotic.

3/ I wasn’t in any real pain before I went to the Dr’s, but post-doctors I’ve got an achey sack. I’m taking neurofen.

4/ My fathers reaction when I told him it was only a cyst? He pissed himself laughing. I’d like to think out of relief, but I suspect its his warped sense of humour and the fact I’m having a needle poked into my two-veg, will be in pain and generally all-round-uncomfortableness tickles him.

Mullered
( JeffTheDogFucker Can you dig it?, Thu 15 Jan 2009, 15:28, Reply)