I've just wasted an hour of life doing health and safety training.

Seriously what is wrong with people that they don't have the basic common sense to get through a day in the office without setting fire to their testicles?

Frankly if I want to sit contorted into a pretzel shape all day fucking my back I will, it's my spine and I'll do as I please with it, consequently I shouldn't be allowed to sue and then we can all get on with our lives like adults.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:12, 11 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Some of us have to work
In Health And Safety.
Trust me, it could be worse.
( Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:23, Reply)

I thought someone here worked in H&S

No disrespect to you, but do you ever feel like H&S rules are a little patronising?

I understand it's so companies can protect themselves, but surely we are all intelligent enough these days to avoid death and destruction while typing a finance report into excel?
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I think that H&S rules are a crock of shit.
To be quite honest, 95% of accidents are the fault of people being stupid.

You can take every safety precaution ever, but some knob-end will still find a way to set 'emself on fire while sharpening a pencil.

I think we should take all the warnings off everything, and let natural selection take it's course.
( Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:34, Reply)

health and safety
is an affront to Darwinism. To participate, is akin to becoming a creationist. Who are you to interfere?

Danger is nature's way of weeding out the idiots. Removing the dangerous situations increases the number of idiots. The more idiots, the weaker the species.

Do not meddle in things you dont understand.
( I have run out of coke is a little sweaty, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:46, Reply)

I think...
that the HSE was a fantastic idea about 40 years ago when we had "proper" jobs- like mining, oil-drilling, badger raping etc. These days if you're lucky to have a job- its more likely that you'll suffer a major paper cut or be subjected to back injury from badly designed chairs.

The HSE exists these days because it became such a monster; to restructure it to today's standards would require half the civil servants losing their jobs- and we all know that won't happen.

Abolutlely no offense to Kaol- but I feel the same way as the original poster. I'm required to sit thru an afternoon of lectures once a year about "monitor position", senseable shoes and not running with scissors.

The rest of the 364 3/4 days I work in an environment surrounded by acids (that can reduce arms to smouldering bone in minutes), solvents that are so poisonous nobody knows what they smell like and pesticides where you have to work in another room before you can even open the flask (tricky that last one).

Bah- give me dusty, petroleum smelling raped badgers anyday.
(bugboybeast, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:19, Reply)

I feel your pain
I have to write about H&S and how it affects my working routing in order to qualify as a nurse. Damn annoying when there are NO trip hazards, no one gets attacked by a cat or dog that often and all the exciting drugs are kept locked up.

On the up side however, we've got a picture of a life boat in the hydrotherapy room as one of our H&S things. It's awesome.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:26, Reply)

Hahaha!
I love how people are tip-toeing around this!

Health and Safety is bollocks.
I just happen to work in it.

To be fair, it has it's uses. There are two parts to my company, the office and the factory.

Safety in a factory full of saws and other slicing, bladed machines is important.

The office... Not so much so.
If you don't know how to use a computer without injuring yourself, I'm afraid we're going to have to remove a couple of organs from your crotch.
( Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:29, Reply)

I've always thought
it's 60% common sense that you should do unless you're a fuckwit/have a death wish.

And 40% bureaucratic bollocks you can safely ignore most of the time, and in some cases have to ignore to even get the job done.

It's not so much the rules I have a problem with as some of the people the job attracts!
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:43, Reply)

...The people...
Fucking hell...
Just imagine what fun I had when I went to the "UK [industry] Health And Safety Day".

I've honestly never spent time with so many boring, small-minded people.
Apart from the time I visited Windsor.
( Cawl, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:48, Reply)

I was doing a gig on Clapham Common a year or two ago
And the health and safety bloke that was working with us was an utter, utter cunt of the highest order. I was ready to batter him by the end of the day, as far as I'm concerned if we're employing a H&S cunt it's so he can go to bat for us with the ridiculous woman from Lambeth Council, not take her side on everything!

A sample conversation from the end of the day, when it was getting a bit dark (not THAT dark, as it was July). You can almost hear the gears grinding and the 'does...not...compute' error messages as his tiny mind tries to comprehend what I'm saying.

Him: Are you taking those speakers down without floodlights?
Me: Yes
Him: I don't think that's a wise idea
Me: Have you got any floodlights?
Him: No.
Me: Looks like we're taking them down without floodlights then
Him: I really don't think that's a good idea, you should use floodlights. It's getting dark.
Me: Have you got any floodlights?
Him: No.
Me: OK, we're carrying on then.
Him: I just think it's a bit dangerous, that's all.
Me: Have you got any floodlights?
Him: No.
Me: WELL FUCK OFF THEN YOU USELESS CUNT
Him: Can we wait until the morning? It will be safer then.
Me: Have you got some security guards to guard the gear, and a spare couple of grand for the extra day's equipment hire?
Him: No.
Me: Well looks like we're de rigging now then. And it's got darker in the half an hour it's taken me to explain this to you, well done.
Him: I'd just like to say I'm really unhappy about the lack of floodlights
Me: ..... *murderous rage*

I pretty much had to be physically restrained from battering the cunt. He was cadging fags off me all day as well!

So if you ever meet a short Asian H&S bloke called Vijay, chop him into tiny pieces and bury him in the woods before you start work. It will make your day a lot easier.

And if you happen to be reading this Vijay, I think you're a cunt. You'll know who I am.
(Son of Sam-i-am We're all as mad as hatters here, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 17:58, Reply)

When I worked in an office
some woman turned up to make sure I could sit on a chair. Despite telling her that at 33 years old I am quite capable of sitting in a chair I had to do it anyway.
So I said to her 'I am rather short, to have my chair at a comfortable height for the keyboard it means that my feet don't touch the floor on a Friday. (didn't wear heels on a Friday) Can I have a foot rest thing? Otherwise I find it far more comfortable to sit with a leg tucked under me and that bends my spine'.
'No, you don't need one'.
'But my feet don't touch the floor'.
'Well you don't need one'.

So I killed her and ate her eyes. (or not)

Now I'm a teacher which involves being punched by 10 year olds. Fuck all health and safety here!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 10 Feb 2009, 23:15, Reply)