The nearly Friday Home Sweet Home thread


Confess your sins!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:29, 95 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

confession
I like disney movies.

And people biting or breathing cold air over my neck and shoulders does funny things to me.

How are you LiC?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:32, Reply)

VC
You know people who breathe cold air?

Are they zombies? Aliens?
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:35, Reply)

Confession.
I cried while watching Wall-E.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:35, Reply)

Confession
I cried watching P.S. I Love You. Then immediately felt like a twat. It's not even a good film FFS.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:39, Reply)

Confession
I'm outside your window RIGHT NOW.

technically
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 7:47, Reply)

No
my friend will put an ice cube in his mouth then sneak behind me and blow the cold air onto my neck. It gives me goosebumps.

In a nice way.

that's why it's a confession. :D

Also - I just made brownies. nom nom nom. they're in the oven baking right now. :D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 8:11, Reply)

Just got into work
And am having beans on toast. OM NOM NOM
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 8:42, Reply)

I've got some pate sandwiches for lunch
And Asda don't sell any coarse pate at all. Bastards.
( gareth_alien will be human again at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 8:48, Reply)

Morning
My confession: I hopped a red light at a set of roadworks on the way to work, so I could get here in time to leave at 4. Don't think anyone saw me.

My other confession: I want to slowly murder a certain PR/marketing consultant after the trouble she caused me yesterday.
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 8:48, Reply)

oooo
User - what'd she do?

also :

/hugs everybody
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 8:56, Reply)

She was sending out a mailshot to 75000 people via email
And fucked up her software, and sent 75000 identical emails to the address here that was supposed to be the response address on the promotional email.

Our mail server ate its last 5GB of disk space in about half an hour, and then crashed, and I stayed about two hours late last night sorting it out. I'm not even in charge of the mail server, but the person who is was on holiday!
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:02, Reply)

Hmm
I dunno if I have anything I'd want to share with you guys :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:07, Reply)

User
that sucks! want me to punch her for you?

badger - sure you do - you just don't want to go through the acts that mean we get to share.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:16, Reply)

Ooh a secret mission!
Tell us tell us tell us!
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:18, Reply)

Morning
This week, I have made several posts, but am only going to whore one of them here. It's the one where I invent a religion based on worshipping a toilet-brush so I can explain what religions are all about.

How's everyone this morn?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:19, Reply)

Chains
I can't tell you the mission it's a secret!! Also then if I fail no one will ever know *evil laugh*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:25, Reply)

fine thanks spakkahead
just about to watch Grey's Anatomy *yays*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:26, Reply)

I stole the last breath from a dying kitten.
Not really, but I do put foreign coins in collection boxees.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:26, Reply)

When I'm in the Supermarket
I like to put random items into other people's trolleys.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:29, Reply)

When I'm in the supermarket
I like to try and bash loud children round the head with my basket
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:33, Reply)

Yeah been there, done that.
It's good fun.
Best is if you can get 'em to run into the corner of your trolley.
Then their parent tells 'em off for "getting in the man's way".
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Badger wins
and I'm off to work. Bye.

EDIT: Kaol beat her at the last minute.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:36, Reply)

Kaol
is always beating me *cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Yeah...
But you love it when I hurt you.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:39, Reply)

Oh yeah
makes me so hot for you when you throw me on the bed
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Er...
on the bed down the stairs.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:42, Reply)

The stairs not so much
but you did make up for that so I'll let you off
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Argh my phone annoys me
I have been refreshing the page every few minutes since my last post and seen no new posts. Until 9:40 when it decides to finally refresh properly.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Fair enough :p
Poor Mr. Chains!
I'd hate to be using a phone for all of this.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:46, Reply)

o2 keep dicking me around
so I still have my massively shit phone :(
Yelled at them yesterday but my renewal date isn't unill tomorrow so the poor man got an earful then had to tell me to call back to give them another earful tomorrrow.

I'm thinking of getting the NOkia 5800 anyone played with one?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:50, Reply)

5800 is a piece of shit
I'm not into touchscreen things much in general, but it's particularly shit even by the low standards of touchscreens.

My mate has one and it keeps turning itself off, seems to click completely different icons from the ones I'm pointing at (and I'm far from fat fingered), and is horrendously slow and buggy cos it's Symbian S60 like the N series. Best steered clear of I think.

The N98 is gonna be the top of the range touchscreen, not sure whether that's out yet, that'll probably be shit as well though.
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Hmm online reviews all look good
*pretends to be shocked username doesn't like something*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Ooh nokia
Looks very iphone-y.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Haha
I don't understand this current mania for touchscreens, buttons are far better 99% of the time. Touchscreens are gimmicky and cool for 5 minutes then get me in a rage.

And don't get me started on S60 as an OS, I've hated that for a long time...

/gave up on Nokias years ago
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Chains
It is supposed to be a lot better than the iphone in a lot of ways but without the dual point touchy thing. And it's free and if I don't like it I can send it back :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Squeals a bit
I'm getting the new blackberry storm on Saturday :)

WOoooooOOOOoooo and yays for that
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:02, Reply)

You know what?
I remember life before mobile phones and we seemed to get by quite nicely.
( girlinthehole, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:08, Reply)

My phone is basic
But it's ok.
I wanna get one with internet some time.
Just so I can steal it for free when I'm in coffee shops.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:11, Reply)

Weird innit!
I remember the days of phoning people at home, and going round your mates houses to call for them...

Fuck knows how I'd manage without a mobile these days though. I take my laptop pretty much everywhere as well.

Found my first mobile (top one) in a drawer the other day, ahhh memories!
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Somebody pass me the hat then...
(username1, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:25, Reply)

/passes hat to user
There ya go.
I've been lurking around hsh the whole time. *chuckles*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Ha!
You sod!
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:29, Reply)

admit it
you all love me - just cos I do things like that.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:30, Reply)

Suuuuuure, if it makes you feel better :p
*nods slowly*
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:33, Reply)

it does
so thanks!

/hugs kaol so you go all awkward

:D
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:36, Reply)

Pffft,
You can't awkward me!
I watched all 5 series of Peep Show in a single weekend. I'm immune now.
( Cawl, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:37, Reply)

wow -
can I join you next time?

And trust me - I can make anyone awkward. It's a talent.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:39, Reply)

my fucking phone came back
on the fucking 5th March I am so incredibly pissed off right now
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 10:58, Reply)

Where did it go to?
a random place of hiding? We used to have an Indiana jones cupboard outside our house that the postman would leave stuff in. The spiders in there were as big as your hand, so we didn't get much post.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:00, Reply)

The occasional mummified corpse
Sucked dry of all juices.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:05, Reply)

no in the bloody 02 shop
for repairs

arghhghghghghg
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:06, Reply)

How rubbish
Get yerself down there and demand your phone back
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:08, Reply)

Confess My Sins?
OK, I was an hour late for work today (No surprise there then) and I'm still the only one here.

I currently have my feet on the desk and am reading my book.

That's my main sin for today so far.

Yesterday on the other hand I was also an hour late then went to deliver a letter at lunchtime and didn't bother coming back. Instead I went for a wander around the Westfield Centre and spent £140 of the banks money on books and earphones.
(bill, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Oh Bill
You are a one.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)

My boss sent me home because
I couldn't stop crying at work. Stupid being single again *cunts it in the fuck*
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:33, Reply)

oh noes!
Maladicta!

*hugs and passes bar of chocolate*
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:44, Reply)

That's awful Mal
*proffers tea and sympathy*
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:47, Reply)

@Maladicta
I can only offer that timeless piece of advice that seems to fit all
occasions and solve all b3ta problems: FUCK THE MAN UP!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:56, Reply)

^ Thanks guys :(
*noms chocolate and drinks tea* it's all a bit raw at the moment... involves moving into spare bedroom and quieting friends who think I should move out, or he should move out. We're still friends and I think we can both be grown-up enough to live together without screwing it up. If we can be friends like we were before, I don't see a problem with it (and besides, how hard is it to come by flats in this day and age that you can afford on £14k a year?)
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Mallie
if he broke up with you then it's probably just going to hurt more if you stay living together. I'm sure you're bot adult and mature-like enough to do it without screwing it up but are you going to be all right seeing him all the time?
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 12:03, Reply)

This sounds
all too horribly familiar. Like last summer for me.

Trust me, you need to start living apart. It causes pain and resentment to try to live together in the same place still. Even though we split up amicably and with no resentment on either side, things started to get a bit ugly after about a month or so.

I moved out and things got instantly better between us. You don't necessarily have to find somewhere on your own either. It might help if you could even temporarily move into a friend's spare room while you sort yourself out.
( rubberduck should only be used after consulting with your GP, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 12:06, Reply)

^ It's not going to be easy at first
that's for sure. If I can come out of this having salvaged a friendship like the one we had before we were together, I think I'll pull through. I'd be in a worse state if he'd wanted me gone.
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 12:10, Reply)

Fingers crossed
Hope it all works out without too much pain.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 12:49, Reply)

wanders in
fucking threadkillers

*wishes death and syphillis upon all of you*
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 12:59, Reply)

I'm filing today
and my office mate is a border collie. She's all of the win. She's going for a heart scan tomorrow as she's got a high grade murmur. Here's hoping she's ok and it's just a blip as I love her.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:09, Reply)

Tomorrow at Becky's work:
Dead Collie Pie from the canteen
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:19, Reply)

Once again bert, you're a cunt
Not funny
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:20, Reply)

Ah, c'mon
You know you love me really, and I'm sure your little Collie friend is going to be ok.

Until you hear the dreaded 'wooof....beeeeee'
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:22, Reply)

Fuck off Bert

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:28, Reply)

All Dogs Go to Heaven 2
The Bloodening
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:29, Reply)

bert
behave - or no motorboating from anyone for a month.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 26 Mar 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Slooow day
I hate testing.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 14:12, Reply)

It could be worse
the Collie could go 'Meeeeooooooow.... splat'

Asploding felinitis is a terrible thing for a dog.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 14:49, Reply)

I've been in a meeting since 11
I have lost the will to live it was incredibly boring :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:00, Reply)

I had a meeting today too
it was about Botox. What was your meeting about oh badgerous one?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:10, Reply)

Traffic Safety and Control Officers

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:11, Reply)

In the immortal words of Cartman
Screw you guys I'm going home!

There is absolutely nothing for me to do in the office today so the sales director just suggested I go home while I can get an off peak tube ticket.
(bill, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:18, Reply)

That sounds exciting
Did you tell them where they can stick their traffic cones?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:37, Reply)

No I came close though
I do get to leave at 4 and yell at 02 though. woo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:44, Reply)

Why do you need to yell at O2?
They annoyed me last month because I missed my top-up cut off day for unlimited texts, but I put an orange sim card in my phone and discovered that they are about 9 trillion per cent shitter than O2.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Oioi!
Not been here in a while! How is everyone?

I have been told to feck off today. ONLINE of all places. Would you believe that?
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Feck off

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Please don't.

(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Ahahaha!
Best thing I've read on OT for a while!

Poor Off, all he wants to do is try to survive in this harsh environment, without constantly being fecked.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Fecked, fucked, cocked, nobbed and pissed on.
It's all too bloody much.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:37, Reply)

My girlfriend's always telling me to turn you
I don't know why, but I drop my trousers and she immediately tells me it's a turn off.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:40, Reply)

I'm sorry, off. I really am.
Next time, I'll try and be gentle.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:41, Reply)

Oh, nice.
Not "I didn't mean to", not "I won't do it again", just NEXT TIME you'll be gentle.

Thanks for that.
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Well...
I didn't mean to. You're like the God of Hangovers - I didn't realise that you even were until a few minutes ago.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Still planning on having another go though, eh?

Without so much as a by-your-leave...
(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:00, Reply)

Fuck off

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:01, Reply)

AAAARGH

(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:06, Reply)

*fucks*

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:07, Reply)

oh, bugger off.
You that is. I'm fine.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:23, Reply)

*cries*

(Edmund has no idea what you mean, Thu 26 Mar 2009, 17:27, Reply)