Home Sweet Home


<img src="http://www.b3tards.com/u/73a634d3b242a4b14b64/hsh.jpg" alt="Home Sweet Home" title="Home Sweet Home">


( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:45, 94 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Evening
What, no image?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:47, Reply)

Evenin DG
I thought I'd try something different for a change.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:48, Reply)

evening all
It's still not dark! woo!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:49, Reply)

Evening all!
I found out today that its true; masturbating kills kittums!

Nice early morning strum and tonight after work, I saw a cat vanish under a car's wheels to be left thrashing and howling in the middle.

I felt guilty til I got home and had a wank; now I'm all relaxed:)

*edit*

Evening LadyTulip! *snuggle*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:50, Reply)

@ BK
You mean, waste not wank not?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:50, Reply)

Actually, I kinda like this better.
It appeals to the geek in me.

My roof is leaking. I now have ceiling damage in two rooms.

Arse.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:51, Reply)

ello Loon
that sucks a bit, I'd offer to lend you an enormous umbrella, except I don't have one.

other than being all wet and cross, how are you?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:53, Reply)

@ tulip
Indeed! Maybe it was a preemptive dead kitten!

@ Loon

That sucks; is it easily fixable or a big job?

*giggles that he said 'big job'*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:54, Reply)

Evenin Beekers & Tulip
If you don't want to feel guilty about wanking, don't look at live kittens while doing it. Out of sight - out of mind...

And yay for going home in full daylight. Although moving the clocks forward sort of feels like cheating. I've been waiting patiently for it to be full daylight (and not this twilight rubbish) when I get back from work, and just as I'm nearly there, the clocks go forward.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:55, Reply)

Bloody 'ell!
People!

Hello peeps. I has wine. And a nice coat. Did I mention the nice coat?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:55, Reply)

@ DG
Evening! What a mighty fine coat you have there.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:57, Reply)

Evenin Loon
If you like image-HTML better than actual images, perhaps you may have accidentally put the HTML for a roof over your head instead of an actual roof. The gaps between the letters and the holes in them do tend to let water through.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:57, Reply)

@spakka
that implies that I'm some sort of kittenophile and need to look at kittens during my private time.

I'm not.

Really I'm not.

*closes lolcats*

*puts pance back on*

@DG, what coat's that then?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:58, Reply)

Cheers Beekers
You shall be able to bask in its glory at the Edinbash; mark my words young man.

Tulip, just a little indulgence of mine, y' know?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 19:58, Reply)

@DG
Oh THAT coat!

Huzah!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:00, Reply)

It will be a big job.
The roof is old and needs to be re-shingled. Patching it really isn't an option.

That's why I have homeowner's insurance. Hopefully that will cover it, as it's about $9000 to do.

EDIT: and the melodrama at home has also ramped up now- apparently my son has decided to stick his nose into the conflict between my daughter and their mother. I had to firmly tell him to butt out of it last night. This was followed by a bit of scotch to settle my nerves, which resulted in me oversleeping this morning...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:01, Reply)

*marks words*
It is a fine coat if its the one you showed us from teh net.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:03, Reply)

* basks in glory of DG's coat from the other side of the Internet *
I'm pretty sure it's much better than a coat made of lasagne would be.

In other news, everything at work is b0rked, and there's a possibility my old boss might be coming back.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:05, Reply)

@ Loon
What are shingles?

Are they the merkin versions of slates?

Anyhoo, that does sound like a big job

*refrains from giggling childishly like certain other people in this thread*

I hope its straightforward.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:06, Reply)

Pretty much.
They're asphalt covered crap that cover roofs over here. We generally don't have slate as it's far more expensive.

Or rather, it *was* more expensive. With the cost of oil rising so much, asphalt has gone up a lot in price.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:10, Reply)

*giggles childishly*
A coat of lasagne noms would be fantastic!

But I would have it robbed by jealous siblings and thrown down a well but I would be found and taken into the Pharoah's court as a slave but I would become a favourite due to my ability to interpret dreams.

And Philip Schofield would play me in the stage show of my life.

It would be fucking win!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:12, Reply)

@ Loon
Ah, that sounds like a big messy job then.

@BK *sings* I closed my eyes, drew back the pasta...
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:14, Reply)

*continues*
so it cooked faster!
Add parmesan too!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:18, Reply)

On the other hand
this weekend I helped a friend with doing some tile work in her kitchen, including the part around her window. Like most windows it has a wide sill, so the tiles had to either be cut in small pieces and fit together like a jigsaw puzzle to go around it, or something else creative needed to be done.

Enter the Loon with his glass cutting bandsaw! I cut a very complex shape in the tile and fit it in there, and with a little grout to fill in it looks as though it's been there forever. I'm very pleased with it!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:22, Reply)

* contuinues *
It's full of woo!
It serves two.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Evening all
That sounds rather like what we use to cover sheds with over here, Loon. Hope you get it fixed.

So, I've finally got round to starting my write up of my big design project tonight, even though I haven't finished all the designing yet. Do thing in a sensible order? Never!


Are we all well?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:23, Reply)

Hey PoD
How goes it?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:25, Reply)

Not bad, Burger King
Not bad at all. Got one big project out of the way as of today, so can now focus on the other big one that is due in about 4 weeks time. Crap.

How are things with yourself?
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:29, Reply)

greetings
from the land of the unemployed. best day.
( cackers, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:30, Reply)

@ PoD
Never raisn but it pours eh?

Things ok with me. Home life good and worklife vastly better than it has been.

Oh and bashage next weekend! *happies*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:30, Reply)

woo bash!
*happies squared*
( cackers, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:34, Reply)

Evening cackers
Are you making an appearance too?

So many new people! *happies, er, cubed*
*had to think about that*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:35, Reply)

You and your bashes. *grumps*
And what of us who are stuck on the wrong side of an ocean? Hmmmmm?

At least it's warm and sunny over here today...
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:37, Reply)

@ Loon
I actually plan to stay awake during this one!

It's been nice and sunny here in Yorkshire today, still a bit chilly though.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:39, Reply)

appearing, yes
oceans be damned.
( cackers, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:41, Reply)

@BK
Well, you were ill during that one. You had a good reason for crashing.

In other news, I've found that shopping for a used car is a royal pain in the arse.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:44, Reply)

@ Loon
Ooh, that's true.

I was all bunged up, and then sunk that red wine in about an hour.

Never had to shop for a car of any description. I don't feel like I'm missing out.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:46, Reply)

'lo cackers
@ Loon
Better than shopping for a royal car in a used arse.






what?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:47, Reply)

I looked at a car yesterday.
It was an Acura Integra in decent shape. Only thing was, he wanted $3200 for it, and its blue book value is less than $2000. So I let that one go by the wayside.

I may have to actually go through CarMax or some other such shite.

EDIT: a used arse? Hmmmm... *contemplates this*
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:49, Reply)

Hahaha
Very nice tulip!

I left a deposit on a car once.

No longer welcome in that showroom!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:50, Reply)

It was a whata inwhata?
German cars are ze best. buy a VW!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:51, Reply)

car shopping
is annoyance, to be sure. good luck.
( cackers, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:53, Reply)

I'm sure....
there would be a few people on here with a used arse.

I am not one of them I hasten to add.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:53, Reply)

Well, that makes you a very strange person Mr Keloid
I am using mine right now, to sit on.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:54, Reply)

@ tulip
Oh, of course. I am using mine too.

I meant in a, erm, greek sense. Possibly even Spartan.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:56, Reply)

I had a VW.
In fact, I've had three of them. When they run well they're nice. When they break you have to use Bosch replacement parts, which are massively expensive. And if you mess with the stereo at all- say, to put in a better one- the car won't run, because Zee Germanss have built anti-theft things into them. You have to have the dealership do any sort of modifications for you.

I prefer Hondas myself.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 20:56, Reply)

@ Loon
Really? I* upgraded the stereo in mine and it's fine. Well, when I say fine, I mean, the central locking is borked, as is the rear wiper. And the boot lock. Which made getting the spare tyre out the boot very interesting. And when I say interesting I mean interesting as in "would have been worth contorting myself like that had there been a naked man with me at the time".

Don't know why I needed to share that.




*I, as in, I asked a man nicely and he did it for me. then he changed my stereo. arf
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:03, Reply)

I didn't try it myself
but have been told not to mess with the stereo.

But I have tried working on my own car, and cursed Zee Germanss roundly as I struggled with it. The phrase "goose stepping fuckwits" may have been used.

Then again, Hondas and Nissans require you to have exceptionally small hands to work on them. The phrase "goddam little nips" may have been used a few times as well.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:11, Reply)

Good evening, one and all
I know nothing about cars, but I found out today that there's a film coming out called "Frequently asked questions about time travel". It's about time travel. And it's set in a pub. Sounds good to me.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:14, Reply)

Woo
I go from having no sections written up, to having 2 sections written up. Yays!
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:15, Reply)

I think my VW
probably pre-dates anti-theft devices and such.

What flavour were yours?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:18, Reply)

@ GarbageFan
That sounds rather good actually!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:18, Reply)

I had
a 1981 Dasher diesel. a 1985 Jetta, and most recently a 1999 Jetta TDI. The Dasher died of a coolant leak, the '85 Jetta was nickeling me to death, and the Weedeater died while BGB was here. (It has since been somewhat resurrected by someone I sold it to.)

I now drive my 1994 Isuzu Amigo, until I can find something better.

Oh, and I had an Audi once. Never again.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:24, Reply)

*googles*
Ah...

No Audis though? Why not? Same reason?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:28, Reply)

Hi grapple fans.
(Only the old English B3tans will get the reference).

Today has been fab. I have had a hair cut, some chocolate and the week after THE BASH I shall be meeting up with some old friends from BB, (before B3ta).

Now I am off to bed to read my new book.

I love you all, each and every one of you.

*is content*


And I have an old beemer and it is fab. *pimps*

Edit - apart from in the snow. (is front wheel drive also).
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:33, Reply)

More or less.
It had a lot of things go wrong with it. The climate control in it was run by a small computer. The chip went bad, so it would cycle endlessly through the heat being on full blast, followed by the A/C on full blast. The sunroof jammed, and fixing it was going to cost about $600. The entire distributor mechanism finally went on it, one of the automatic windows was about dead, and fixing everything would have cost around $3000.

But worse than that: it was a front wheel drive car that did not handle well in the snow at all. I spun the thing out myself twice. We got rid of it and got a minivan and were infinitely happier.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Oh dear
Watching that sex ed thing on channel 4. They've just shown ten pairs of tits to schoolboys and all the lads went for the pair of fake ones and said they didn't like the real ones.

I would have wept with gratitude at any that were presented to me at that age.

I suspect that this is beggars being choosers.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:38, Reply)

This evening my dinner consisted of
a quarter pounder and cheese from Maccy D's and a packet of Mars Planets at the cinema at about 5.30pm.

Should I eat something else or have I already consumed far too much lard today?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:45, Reply)

@ al
Have some veg of something!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:46, Reply)

@BK
Fake as in "surgery assisted" or fake as in "Dad apron"/Blackadder II's "Beer"?
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:47, Reply)

@ BK
yes, but did they just look or did they get a feel as well?

@ al, no, no more sweets for you young man.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:47, Reply)

Just pics
And yes, surgically enhanced, not Blackadder!

*remembers that episode*
*giggles*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:49, Reply)

hahaha!
Devil's Dumplings!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:50, Reply)

As I've gotten older
I've found that I can generally spot the fake ones pretty quickly, and they just plain don't look right. A woman with fake boobs showing cleavage is easy to spot because there's usually a pretty wide gap between them. And then there's the feel of them...

Nope. I'd rather have a woman with natural ones that sag a bit.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:54, Reply)

More sweets Al
Many more sweets!

I may have bought 20 dairy milks at the weekend as they were on buy one get one free. There are even still some left.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:56, Reply)

@ Loon
Don't think I've ever had my hands on a pair of silicon jobs.

I've always been more than happy with the natural feel.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 21:59, Reply)

Al, get some chocolate cornflakes inside you
There is nothing so moreish as this combination of cheap chocolate and breakfast cereal.

I rediscovered them at Morrisons the other week and shamelessly nommed a box of 18 over the weekend.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:00, Reply)

I could probably manage some chips
but that sex education show has just come on channel 4+1 so I might stay in and look at some tits.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:00, Reply)

I want to say something about boobs here
I'm just not sure what.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:02, Reply)

What about
Yay for boobs?
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:03, Reply)

The thing I found most disconcerting
was that with one woman in particular, something seemed to have happened to one of them so that if I squeezed her boob it made a faint creaking sound, like a naugahyde seat in a diner. And they felt... wrong. Too firm, too dense, like I was holding one of those squishy stress things filled with gel. They didn't move like real ones and didn't feel like them. It was like they were something alien.

On the other hand, I've felt a pair of saline ones and wasn't immediately able to tell.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:06, Reply)

There were tits?
Damn, I just watched Heroes and Mitchell and Webb!

And I don't have digital. Fucksocks.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:06, Reply)

Noo.....
Well, yay, but noooo... not that...

I think mine are nice.

There.

I said it.

now you can all go "pics or its not true" while al furiously masturbates over a toffee crisp or something.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:07, Reply)

Pics
Or it didn't happen...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:07, Reply)

@ DG
Yup, and fannies!

Ha, I'm such a child sometimes!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:08, Reply)

@DG
Well, since you're getting married next week...

... no, of course I'm not going to flash you!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:11, Reply)

* returns *
You mean missed Al wanking over a crisp?

* cries *

Speaking of boobs, I have a theory that women with smaller breasts have more sensitive nipples. As nipple-sensitivity is a subjective thing, my theory will remain just a theory.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:12, Reply)

@hlt
How 'bout me? I'm not getting married!
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:13, Reply)

@spakka
your theory is correct. I read it in Cosmo last month.

And I suspect you did as well, now.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Oh yeah
There is that small matter.

I bet that the tits didn't have a complex plot like Heroes though. Like, one minute the tits were on the same side, then the next one of them demonstrated new found powers (like being able to autonomously detatch and smother it's enemies), before taking part in some double cross to make it look like it was an evil tit but was really on the side of good. Then killing its father.

Or something.

I need a smoke.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:14, Reply)

@ Loon
Aw. Never mind.

*flashes*
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:15, Reply)

@ hlt
Ahhh, I caught a peek!

*glee*
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Oh, I dunno.
I've been with some very big boobed women whose nipples were exceptionally sensitive, to the point where I could get them to orgasm from that alone.

And that's the other bad thing about fake ones- they cut the nerves so that they're basically numb. What fun is that?
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:16, Reply)

I've had that theory for some time
Just out of interest, how did Cosmo find this out? I thought it was either coz the nipples were closet to the chest, or that the nipples took up a greater proportion of the breast.

@DG: So did that mean the two tits turned against eachother?

EDIT: What TRL said about fake boobs. Why reduce sensitivity for cosmetic reasons?
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:17, Reply)

@ Loon
Awesome!

@spakka - I don't know, you'll have to ask them.

@BK - you weren't supposed to be looking!

@DG - sounds like you need more than a smoke, mate...

right. me and my boobs are going home.
night all!
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:23, Reply)

Night tulip!
And I'm off as well!

Laters!
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:25, Reply)

Bedtime already?
It's only half past nine.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:31, Reply)

'night Boobs. 'night Willy

( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:31, Reply)

@GarbageFan
the b3ta server time has not kept up with the latest temporal advances.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:35, Reply)

Yes, it's like a very rubbish version of time travel
Forgetting to move the clocks forwards/backwards,
Looking at old photos,
Listening to old records,
these are all low-rent versions of temporal displacement

When are we going to get a proper time machine?
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:48, Reply)

If I set my mp3 player to shuffle-mode
I suffer from a great deal of temporal discontinuity.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:55, Reply)

See, I think mp3 players are to blame for the lack of time travel devices
If you are good at techy things now I think it makes much more sense to go into business and make cool gadgets rather than live in your shed and build by yourself a time travelling fridge.

Back in the olden days there were no such problems, all the crazy scientists did crazy things. Such as science.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 30 Mar 2009, 22:58, Reply)

Awesome thread borkage
Even with the time disparity.

Night all!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 0:07, Reply)