AHA!
I have made the popular page on /talk. My life is validated.

Also, seriously people, this kind of pandering is exactly what gives us a bad name. Plus none of you cunts mentioned me. And in addition, this has all the hallmarks of a meatpuppet. And finally, just stop being so fucking nice to everyone, it's really quite nauseating.

I do have a question though, Enzyme mentioned that the Goat had been threatening violence, is this true? I know he's a grade A tool, but I'm surprised he started threatening people.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:15, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

you are mostly right
but someone did mention you

I'd like to know about the Goat though. someone spill the beans!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:21, Reply)

The Goat
Said that he'd find where I lived if I carried on taking the piss out of him.

And "mail me a surprise".

Not true.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:24, Reply)

I recommend reading
althegeordiesoutherner's answers because McCann fan-fiction is a grossly underappreciated niche literary genre.
( djtrialprice, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:25, Reply)

reading
althegeordiesoutherner's answers because McCann fan-fiction is a grossly underappreciated niche literary genre. bumming djtrailprice hard up the arse until he cries like a girly girl.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:28, Reply)

I don't climax
I crymax!

Giggity.
( djtrialprice, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:33, Reply)

The sweet, sweet tears
Of victory.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:35, Reply)

Mmmmmmmm
salty, like a choirboys jizm.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:37, Reply)

I smell meat puppetry too
Which is why I didn't big anyone up.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:25, Reply)

The Goat
Threatened to come round to my house and eat my washing. Possibly even ram any passers by and shit on my doorstep.

/not true blog
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:29, Reply)

The Goat
threatened to turn Rob's hair even redder- with blood.

The Goat threatened to shave David Hasselhoff.

The Goat gave Jade Goody cancer.

The Goat told Carla Bruni that if Sarkozy didn't create legislation demanding daily bathing in France that he would pull her flaps up over her head.

He's a worrisome one, that Goat.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:43, Reply)

I don't care
because Enzyme mentioned ME.
ME ME ME ME ME ME ME
Because I'm fucking awesome and you're all shit, so fuck off, you shitty fucking shit fuckers.
lalalalalala FUCK YOU

EDIT and congratulations, al, I saw you on the popular page there, well done. I got to the top of the /talk popular page with my first post there, not that I'm bragging, I'm just pointing out that even a retarded monkey fellating a goose could impress those guys.

Toodle-pip!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Oh look it's Bert CuntySex
being oh so hilarious again.

Stop it, or I'll have to punish you again.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:51, Reply)

That Hotty post
was a bit of a self-congratulatory tit-wank fest with added spunk, piss, shit and beer.

In my professional opinion.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:52, Reply)

That's a bit bloody rich coming from you.

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:53, Reply)

Thanks Bert
I appreciate the sentiment, I've just not managed to get anything on there before.

EDIT - Who is this cheeses person? They've been around for a while haven't they?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Eh?
When have you ever punished me?
Nobody ever stands up to me, I'd be impressed if they did, but you're all piss-weak excuses for human beings, and I enjoy mocking you from my phallic tower.

Al - I think it's a noob with terrible spelling and grammar, who likes to come along and think they can play. Either that or a regular with a retarded alter-ego.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Haha
Chief contributor SpankyHanky you should be ashamed!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Today I have found God
and renounced by knob gag ways.

The next time I go to church will be to pray, not to wank off choirboys into a jug.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:54, Reply)

Oh look more hilarious
wanking off children jokes. Please stop me, my sides are splitting.

Bert, I whupped you arse a while back and I'm not afraid to do it again. Tosser
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:56, Reply)

I'm getting confused now
So Cheeses Swept isn't you is it Bert? Are you sure you're not just playing some crap joke by insulting yourself?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:57, Reply)

@ cheeses swept
I forgive you.

I pitty you, but I forgive you. Be at peace, my child. Cast the demon from your soul and do some fucking work.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:57, Reply)

I believe you are mistaken
I seem to remember you trying your best to put together a coherent argument, but then I took apart everything you said and revealed you to be somewhat of a nonce.

EDIT al, that's what people thought the first time this nob turned up, and when somebody stole my username. Sadly it's not me, I'd be more amusing, these are just the futile rantings of a menstruating 14 year old school girl.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Pretty rich coming from a man
who thinks the funnies thing he can do it post pictures of his cock on the internet.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:00, Reply)

It's not you?
Oh.
I thought you were arguing with yourself for some reason.
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:00, Reply)

I remember now
It was a bit crap.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:00, Reply)

And that's pretty rich from a fucking one joke talentless cunt

(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:01, Reply)

*yawns*
Talent please, say funny things, the internet is not for silly personal insults. Well, it is if you're witty, but you're failing badly here.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Wit eh?
Is that what you call making the same shit joke about a girl who was most likely murdered.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:03, Reply)

Oh come on,
If you find that offensive, b3ta isn't really the place for you, is it?
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:05, Reply)

It was really crap
I don't even have multiple profiles I can use to amuse myself anymore.

Ho-hum.

There were quite a few people who thought Hitlercock was pretty funny, but it's a matter of opinion. Making the picture amused me, if you didn't like it, you didn't have to look.

As for being a 'one joke talentless cunt', If you look at the stories in my profile, i'd like to say that there is some diversity there. As for talent, you got me there.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:01, Reply)

What happened to your other profiles?
Banned?
( Cawl, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:02, Reply)

How come?
Did they get banned to?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Oh shit
I've got to go, Pub Quiz to get to and Pies to eat. Later peeps.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:04, Reply)

They both got blocked for some reason
I think JMG complained about Jam Mister Geordie, and the other one was blocked when I got banned a while back.

Cheerio, al.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:04, Reply)

cheeses
Now that you've called me a 'one joke talentless cunt' and tried your best to take me down a peg or two, why don't you show us all whether or not you're capable of writing anything worthy of giving you the right to judge anything somebody else has posted?

EDIT I'm actually worried that this cheese person is somebody who knows me in real life, and is using B3ta in an attempt to bully me. It's not quite working though, the anonymity makes everything they've said completely impotent.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:08, Reply)

Thread death :(
That was just getting interesting.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:25, Reply)

Oi
I want to see this cock picture you speak of. I must've missed that one somehow (lurking mode off that week, or something)
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:45, Reply)

NSFW
www.b3tards.com/u/e908521f1c6e8c370697/cock1.jpg

I don't have it bookmarked no indeed no siree bob no.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:53, Reply)

No3L you big gayser
Brilliant!
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 17:54, Reply)

that cheese swept must be a moron
I defy anyone of sound mind and body not to find that picture amusing.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 18:27, Reply)

I didn't even know that there was a popular page on /talk.
Blimey.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 19:39, Reply)

Well...
it's kinda like winning silver or gold at the Special Olympics. It's generally not mentioned.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 19:50, Reply)

What the sweet juddery fuck is wrong with liking people on here.
What is wrong with telling people you like people on here.

What is wrong with being friendly.

I don't give a a fuck if /talk think we pander.

Bring on the hugs because I'm fucked if I'm going to start changing because some emotional retards on another board don't like it.


So there.
( girlinthehole, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 20:04, Reply)

But al
I was thinking of you.

And touching myself in that *special* place.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 31 Mar 2009, 21:17, Reply)

@big girls blouse
I'm with you. I don't understand people being rude to each other on here for nothing. Obviously good natured insults are fine (the stuff that b3ta is made of) but if you don't like someone's post or something, do you really feel like a big man being fucking rude to them?

We should go on /talk to piss them off by being overly nice. Same to people on here who are evil for nowt. So there.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 22:14, Reply)

Blousie, I'm with you
Well said.

*does hugs*

And cocks. I can do cocks too. Why does it have to be one or the other?

EDIT: Ooh jinx Cherub *touches nose* "Shakespeare"
( warmfuzzies Isn't here, Tue 31 Mar 2009, 22:14, Reply)

@Apeface
Fuck off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 9:57, Reply)

@Bert
Stop it, you're turning me on you big fat chutney-ferret.

I feel better now.
(The Apeface Cherub is not a cunty-uber-cunt, Wed 1 Apr 2009, 11:52, Reply)