Question
would you rather have two cocks or four balls?

The testicles would be located within one sack, and provide you with extra stamina, and double the load.

The cocks can be of different sizes if you so wish, and arranged in any configuration that you please, they are however linked in that they get hard at the same time and both cum simultaneously, albeit at half the strength.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:10, 38 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I believe, Sir,
you have asked one of the great unanswerable questions.

With two cocks I'd be able to be pleasured by two women. As I find it hard enough finding one woman to please me like this, it would be a waste and possibly require rather a lot of explaining on that fateful 3rd date.

If I had four balls, I'd be able to absolutely drench more than one woman in filthy man fat. See point one.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:41, Reply)

I'd like two cocks please.
I'd also like to specify who they belong to and where they can put them, and could I have them by 8pm tonight please?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:49, Reply)

Wait,
8pm is only 10 minutes away and I need to shave my legs. Make it 8.15pm.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:50, Reply)

To answer my own question
two cocks, vertically arranged, with one average, and one considerably above.

That way, I can cater to most tastes. It also opens up the possibility of occupying both lanes at once, so to speak, or if the woman in question is particularly cavernous, both in the one hole.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:52, Reply)

chc
if your cocks are more than 20 minutes late, you get them half price.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:53, Reply)

okay,
as long as they're still hot when they arrive
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:55, Reply)

What the fuck is CHCB doing on here!
Fuck off an be miserable somewhere else, you've already denounced OT too much to be allowed back here.

Hope you find some cock though.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:56, Reply)

That's rich coming from you.
I read the /talk boards as well you know. Traitor.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:13, Reply)

I have back-up cock at the moment, it's fine thanks, al.
And I surf these boards freely, dropping in here and there to vent my spleen and impart my wisdom and insult your mother.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:57, Reply)

Wait, so CHCB
would you rather a man with two cocks or a man with four testicles?
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:59, Reply)

back up cock?
a cock you back up onto? or a cock up the back way?

I reckon it's the latter as I can't imagine two people saying "no thanks"
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:59, Reply)

I would rather
two men with a cock apiece or one man with two cocks. However, should I be wishing to conceive little CHCBs, I'd go for the four balls.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 19:59, Reply)

@al
Cunty McFuckbollix, as I like to call my ex, is offering free range cock. I'm waiting for the batteries to run out on the silicone special first before I do something stupid like take him up on that offer.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:02, Reply)

Aaaaaah, free range cock.
Cock allowed to roam freely through the fields eating out of hedgerows.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:05, Reply)

aye
hedgerows bushes
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:06, Reply)

What a truly generous and selfless individual your ex must be
"Just wanna do something special/for all the ladies in the world..."
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:09, Reply)

free range
is that the same as organic?
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:10, Reply)

If he did half of what he says he'd like to do
he wouldn't be my ex.

Oh actually, that's a lie. He'd still be a bastard.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:11, Reply)

@belms
Nope. Organic would suggest a cock raised without the use of chemicals.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:11, Reply)

You're all fucking mad.
Who cares about the man fat. Two cocks fused together to make one large fat cock please and attached to someone who knows how to operate it.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:15, Reply)

Nono,
Organic is where you use vegie oil instead of KY to help force it into its cage.

Free range is where you slap it around a bit and its new home gets up and leaves in disgust.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:15, Reply)

Erm
Shouldn't you youngsters all be out at the discotheque?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:18, Reply)

Up yours grandad!

(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:22, Reply)

*boogies like it's 1999*
.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:24, Reply)

bgb
I think it would take some persuading to get a man with two cocks to willingly fuse them together.

Not that you couldn't try.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:24, Reply)

Up my what, al?
Oh, I see...

Just for that I shan't buy you a lemonade at Tightly's bash.

So ner!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:26, Reply)

There are guys out there that split their cocks in half.
Google subincision.

I'm sure I can find one to fuse two cocks together.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:30, Reply)

WANNALEMONADEWANNALEMONADEWANNALEMONADE!
WAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:32, Reply)

Calm down al...
Of course I'll buy you a lemonade. Now put your toys back in the pram and calm down - it'll soon be June.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:34, Reply)

Phew!
I was getting worried there. I shall look forward to it.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:42, Reply)

One guy, two cocks
I have no need for extra man fat squirting at/on me, so would rather the extra meat for superfluous fun :)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:44, Reply)

Ah but the man with
two testicles would have a much quicker recovery time, or perhaps the ability to spaff once normally, then continue and spaff with the other two without stopping.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:54, Reply)

Well snakes...
...have two.

In case one breaks off.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:56, Reply)

To a guy it's all about the spaffing.
To a women it's all about the meat.
( girlinthehole, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:57, Reply)

Ahh but he would probably require you to
suck on his balls and with that many in the sack, there would definitely be danger of suffocation on the folds.

I stand by my choice unless it can be fused as BGB said into gigantacock. So long as it didn't look like Bert's.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 20:57, Reply)

Pffffffffffft!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Sat 18 Apr 2009, 21:08, Reply)

two cocks
that way i can have a piss and a wank at the same time
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sat 18 Apr 2009, 23:07, Reply)

Tis a poser.
I like the act of firing out a wad of cock paste over the tits/face/arse of my paramour and can appreciate having the extra testees to produce more joy juice to coat the unfortunate lady in my man fat.

This said, if I were to have two cocks then I'd be able to DP yon lassie from front and behind but requiring the lower cock to angle downward at 30 - 40 degrees but measure maybe an inch or two more than the primary cock to account for an equal breaching of the brown eye.

Anal with the increased testees would be interesting - It'd make for one hell of a creampie. Two cocks would also be humourous as you could do a double pistol whip with them.

I'd probably opt for the four nads.
(SpunkyMcSpunkbubble Diddled your nubbin on, Sun 19 Apr 2009, 20:12, Reply)