So what's for dinner?
I'm having three page 3 girls round for sex.

What's your favourite type of page 3 girl sex?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:02, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Yes, yes JMG...
...but what are you having for dinner?
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Pepsi Max.
Hysteria inducing, Pepsi Max..
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

What no vimto?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:09, Reply)

There's been information on this matter shared on the OFFICIAL JMG FAN PAGE.
OFFICIAL. JMG. FAN PAGE.


It's really upsetting some of the interwhales.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Bringing JMG to a wider Facebook audience
and upsetting a wider-faced audience.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:16, Reply)

The internet has told me 19% of my fans are female.
Which is a good 16% higher than we see on b3ta.

I'm already making gains in critical areas.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:20, Reply)

The real kind
Not the imaginary kind.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Girl on girl on girl
with you locked in a cupboard with spiders.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Are you all hot and heavy as we are over at the P.P.I. about Piston_Broke's stand up act?
Oh Lordy, I can't wait for the high jinx.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:08, Reply)

Just what is it with you guys and Piston_Broke anyway?

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Imagine if there were Weapons of Mass Boredom.
Weapons deployed silently, and using the media of internet. Projecting a sense of "all is not happy" with your world.
Imagine this bomb going off every few minutes on many, many weeknights.

Some people had to go into counselling.

Moohalaa started fancying blokes. It screwed him up that bad.
Thankfully, I'm incredibly intelligent and popular.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

What's my favourite type of page 3 girl sex?
Where it doesn't involve you, of course.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:06, Reply)

You wouldn't prefer it more with yourself involved?
Have you thoroughly thought this out?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:09, Reply)

I may well like to watch.
Much the same with you and your porn collection. Except I'm able to join in.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Can page 3 girls have sex?
I always thought they were anatomically unable to do the deed due to having no genitals like a barbie doll.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:12, Reply)

Can't say I am as I'm not going

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:14, Reply)

They really should automatically thread people's posts on here.
I do incredible work putting up with you people as it is without every reply looking like some form of complex jigsaw.
It's only a matter of time before I'm made a MOD. Then the tears will roll down the puffy, serious cheeks of the internet.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:18, Reply)

Viva la differance!
As they say here in off-topic.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:19, Reply)

"Then the tears will roll down the puffy, serious cheeks of the internet."
^this for internet quote of the week (thus far)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:21, Reply)

*JMG National Anthem*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:22, Reply)

...as performed by Gina G?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Hahahahaha!
This is quote of the week so far.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Yes
because we want him so so much.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Steady on, now.
I don't want to suffer a backlash from the inhalered community.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:32, Reply)

Girls?
They have girls on the Internet now?

Why wasn't I informed?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Did they tell you
Hotmale.com was the only site on the net?

Damn these nasty people.
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Not really
we are all 14 year old boys pretending to be girls
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Well you might be TGB
but I have a sneaking suspicion that if JMG actually met any of the ladies from here, he'd be far from his internet persona and retreat into a corner.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:40, Reply)

As do I.
I'm not one for testing the theory that if I run at bears screaming and bellowing they'd retreat in fear.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

I'd like to thank you
on behalf of The Whole Internet, for being so restrained and understanding of your effect on others; my knees went weak as I hit the reply button, and I'm not even a girl.

Be gentle on those page 3 girls, wont you?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

I once knocked out Mr. T.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

out off
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Tue 5 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

He wouldn't meet any of the ladies
that would require going outside away from the computer
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

All that lacks is a snort at the end and the realignment of the your spectacles on the bridge of your nose.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

*snorts*
*realines spectacles on bridge of nose*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Now it's "Revenge of the Nerds" on here.
:(

Which ultimately wasn't an awful 80's movie.
Well done JMG.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

We could meet him.
I do house calls.
( girlinthehole, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Blimey!
I'm all set.. Cheers.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Get him Blousey
Get him good!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Tue 5 May 2009, 13:54, Reply)

I'll say this for JMG...
...he brings a certain amount of entertainment value to Off Topic.

Maybe we can persuade him to turn his creative talents to QOTW? I reckon that would make for an interesting read.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Tue 5 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

/talk would fall to bits.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

/Board would only draw flags at half mast for a day.
There'd be general tears and even more misery than normal.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 13:58, Reply)

You mean you'd turn down
The chance to cause weeping and wailing?
( Cawl, Tue 5 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I think I'm only on around 2 or 3 regular people's block lists.
I am so incredibly popular on /talk that most the people who have held many, many the public tantrum at me can't help but keep me as part of their online world.
I'm very important.

For example. I'm quite sure we'll see 2 or 3 tearful drunks take something out on me by the weekend.
:(
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Those are all fair points.
Although, have you considered hiring an online back-up, for those times when you can't be around?
Obviously they'd have to pay you for it. Because of your online popularity. And they'd be basking in your reflected glory.
( Cawl, Tue 5 May 2009, 14:13, Reply)

Like a Vice-President.
Excellent idea.

If it all kicks off and I have to board Air Force One, the VP can take over bullying and generally being ace.
Whilst I do not yet have a plane. The car will have to do.

Honda Force One.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 14:18, Reply)

Jam Force One,
Surely?

Anyway, there's only one man for the job.
Piston's time is finally here.
( Cawl, Tue 5 May 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Excellent. Just as long as the VP's plane will be giving Hanse Cronje a free ride, too.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Tue 5 May 2009, 14:29, Reply)