Just for Vampyrecat
Happy Winter
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:29, 33 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

MY EYES!!!
*cries*
why why why why why?!?!?!

you horrible horrible horrible person! why would you draw my attention to that?!?!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:33, Reply)

S'alright,
Won't kill you to get bitten by one.
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Nah it won't kill you
Just make a couple of large holes in you which blood will leak out. They are lovely things really.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:37, Reply)

It was a public service announcement.
If it's happened in Brisbane it COULD GET YOU!!!!
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:40, Reply)

*cringes and hides*
*rocks back and forth*
*closes eyes*

Don't like spiders, don't like spiders, don't like spiders.

*teh fear*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Tell me why!
I don't like spiders.
Tell me why,
I don't like spiders
I want to burn
The whole web down.
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

No wonder you want to emigrate!
Although we have Jacqui Smith.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:46, Reply)

Hmmm...
"Following an accident with an experimental radioactive ID Card and a spider, Jacqui Smith, MP, is SPIDERMORON".
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:48, Reply)

here's a few examples why
-have had them drop on my head and crawl down my face
-have had them crawl up my arm
-have had them run over my windscreen while driving
-have had them in my clothes.

DO NOT LIKE SPIDERS!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:49, Reply)

You'd better not come visit me then
I keep some as pets. Those and the scorpions.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:50, Reply)

No dok
I will visit you. But only in a pub.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:52, Reply)

This quote made me laugh
"They are also known as whistling or barking spiders for the hissing noise they emit when they are disturbed or aggravated at close range."

Barking spiders, hahahahahahaha!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 6 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

PJM
I hope to fuck you never ever meet a huntsman that you're trying to kill. They do SCREAM. They actually do.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

It's all funny
'til you hear a hissing, and one jumps for your eyes.
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 11:58, Reply)

PJM
And they do bark, like a dog only quieter. We had one for a while.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:01, Reply)

kaol
you're fucking scaring with me with that mental image. Stop it. *wails*
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:01, Reply)

I don't like spiders.
While I respect every creature's right to live and always chuck our house spiders out alive, if that thing came within fifteen feet of me I'd hit it very hard with a frying pan.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 6 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

Vampy
Get a baseball bat and carry it about with you all the time. That way you'll be protected against flying spiders.

EDIT PJM It'd probably laugh at you if you did that.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

I'd still rather cuddle it than cuddle Jacqui Smith though.
*bokes*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Wed 6 May 2009, 12:06, Reply)

dooooooooooook!
why?! I don't want to hear about fucking flying spiders. stop it you evil gits!
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:06, Reply)

I sense a sequel to a film with Smaual L Jackson and certain reptiles...
Spiders on a plane!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:08, Reply)

Or
We could do a remake of Tarantula, and set it in Oz.

EDIT Vampy, it's only tiny baby spiders that fly, they use their silk to do it.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

*shudders*
do. not. waaaaaaaaant.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:13, Reply)

I'd so get loads
and fill the bath with them and see how my housemate reacted. I'm hoping for screaming like a little girl
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:18, Reply)

TGB
I'm never ever ever ever staying at your house then. even if you invite me.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Hahaha!
I don't feel clean 'til I've had my weekly spider-bath.
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:24, Reply)

completely serious here
I'd pick cocks over spiders any day.

And that's saying something.
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:26, Reply)

I've just remembered this QOTW answer...
www.b3ta.com/questions/phobias/post140089
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:27, Reply)

Yes!
That story rocked!
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:29, Reply)

Ah a spider bath
The slow soaking of the venom into the skin helping to remove the top few layers.

Such bliss.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:38, Reply)

And the wiggly legs
Carrying out a gentle exfoliating action?
( Cawl, Wed 6 May 2009, 12:40, Reply)

I have read stories of vomit
piss, blood, gore, turkeys going flying off motorcycles, people being abused and that link and this whole thread has come close to being the most horrible thing I've ever seen here on B3ta.

*shudder*

can you tell yet how much I loathe spiders?
(Poppet some assembly required., Wed 6 May 2009, 12:45, Reply)

Were the mentioned photos
Of the spider-child ever produced?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 6 May 2009, 14:22, Reply)