Right folk
I'm sitting here in my office grinning like a loon.

I've just been given verbal notification of when my employment terminates.

So as of the sixth of August I shall be a man of leisure, that is if I don't have another job by then.

;)
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:24, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I'll pay you to mow my lawn

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:25, Reply)

You'll be fine Dok
we'll rally for you.
:)
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

How much?
I'm just hoping that August has good weather this year.

Thanks Vampy, everything will work out for the better, of that I'm sure!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

I'll lay you to mow my pawn

(TheColonel, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:26, Reply)

To be viewed
as a fantastic opportunity for life improvement.

Get in there!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Erm a tenner
for the front and back? And you can have free cider
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:32, Reply)

Excellent Dok
better the hanging in the lurch!
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:33, Reply)

Thats a way to go
Decent amount of time to look for another job, no stress from not knowing whats going on, hopefully a decent payout coming... I don't blame you for the grin!
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:34, Reply)

I'll give you a tenner
if you write a sitcom about me.

But I have to be a squirrel farmer in the sitcom. With lasers.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:42, Reply)

Dok is
actually grinning because he gets to see me tomorrow
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:43, Reply)

Good to see you so positive.
I'll be rooting for you.

(@VC no comments please).
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 7 May 2009, 11:44, Reply)

Badger
Is it a big lawn?

Bert, you're on, I'm sure I could do that, it may be a bit sureal though.

Red, Hair, and Monty, yes it has taken a load of my mind, no work to do, well I'm not going to do any, and if I don't get a job I may go into full time education again.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:47, Reply)

Dok
Surreal is good.

Badger is using 'lawn' as a euphemism for her overgrown snatch! LOLZORS
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:49, Reply)

Porky
Rooting, snigger, snort

I didn't want to say that Bert, :), trust me it will be very surreal. Look I spelt it right this time!

Yes Badger, you always make me grin like a loon.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:53, Reply)

Oooooh
I didn't even realise you'd spelled it wrong, you ought to be naughty stepped for that kind of thing.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:55, Reply)

I must try
and remember to bring your present Dok :)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 7 May 2009, 11:56, Reply)

Yes Badger
You must or I'll cry like a baby, pack it tonight. I've got to remember to bring my wallet, i've forgot that for the last two days.

Oh Bert, I do have a bit of a naughty step though!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:01, Reply)

Porky
I was going to behave anyway.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:04, Reply)

VC
You wouldn't know how to behave if a home for bees got its vowels confused
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:06, Reply)

/giggles
oh bert you silly old whorebag. Like I said earlier - Jealous!!
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:10, Reply)

You love me
you know that you do, it's obvious to everyone, ask them, ask anyone you like, they'll all tell you the same.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:14, Reply)

you wish.
I'm happily taken.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:16, Reply)

I'm going to keep on at this until it's even more annoying than the 'Kaol touches kids' thing.
Also, Kaol touches kids.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:18, Reply)

Oh
I see you to are at it again [sigh].

Bert when will you ever learn.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:19, Reply)

Learning is beyond my list of capabilities
I just exist, I continue to do so. I don't change or evolve, I just be.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, Reply)

It's not annoying me bert.
more amusing me how deluded you are.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:21, Reply)

Deluded?
Or flattered by how much you're clearly in love with me?

Give me an honest answer, you know it's true.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:22, Reply)

isn't it more
you're in love with me? You're deluding yourself into hoping I'm in love with you??

You're a silly boy.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:26, Reply)

It's true
I'm so heartbroken that you keep knocking me back, I wish that I were halfy the man that your boyfriend is.

See what I did there? Christ I'm sexy.

EDIT Our rampant flirting seems to have overtaken Dok's thread. Sorry Dok, it's all about you, good luck getting a new job or enjoying your freedom etc, and I hope you have a nice day tomorrow
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:29, Reply)

don't you mean
"christ I'm a dick"?

I did say congrats to Dok already.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:34, Reply)

No, I'm well sexy
I've given myself a stonk-on and everything.

I feel like maybe I should do a sexy table dance for you all, in tight pants, to 2Unlimited's 'No Limits', ending in a build-up to me spraying myself with Primula and having you all dive on my body, ravenously gobbling up the cheesy goodness.
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:36, Reply)

dear god
some one hand me a spoon so I can gouge out my eyes without any mess.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 12:38, Reply)

gouge out my eyes without any mess frot myself into a Bert-induced frenzy
(Bert's other profile wants to wear your balls on a necklace, Thu 7 May 2009, 12:42, Reply)

you're a silly git bert.
you really are.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:00, Reply)

It's OK Bert
The two of you make me laugh, it's great.

Yes I will have a good time tomorrow, I'm getting drunk with B3tans, how could it not be good!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Thu 7 May 2009, 13:20, Reply)

good to hear dok
your entertainment is the primary focus of Bert's fuckfacedom.

Mine's just to blithely shut bert down as many time as possible. Cos he's a fluffeh cunt.
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 7 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)