When did you last realise that despite all your faking and mindfucking
that things are actually pretty damn shit and it would be better for everyone if you just ended it all now?

Not there yet.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:43, 41 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Every time I wake up with a hangover.
Easily fixed with wanking, mind.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:44, Reply)

When I checked my
bank balance and saw I am -£87. And I don't have an overdraft.

I am going for killing other people and selling their organs though.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I'm in the market for a spleen
if you find yourself with one going spare.

I want to see if that ebola thing really works.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Sold
to the long haired man with the unnerving smile
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Haaaaaa!
Perfect.
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Unnerving?
*grins*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

It's true
wanking solves many of life's problems.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:45, Reply)

unless you're using public transport at the time

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 11 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Doesn't stop everyone...

( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

That's debatable

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

There's nothing wrong with a danger wank every now and again.
Just don't get the bus driver in the eye.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Probably about 18 months ago
When (ironically) I nearly choked to death trying to take an overdose.

I find that pretty funny though so it's all good.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Retarb

( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:48, Reply)

It's not my fault I have trouble swallowing
*cries*
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Sitting on the lavatory
experimenting with your gag reflex?
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Lavatory?
Ooh, get you, you posh cunt.
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I'd forgotten about this!

( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Lolz at your fail

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Is this a Madeline McCann joke?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:49, Reply)

Every 6 weeks, lasting a couple of weeks.
But then I get so fed up of being fed up, that I pick myself up, force myself to be sociable and do things. That normally sorts myself out for a little while.

Fake it 'till you make it, is what I say.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

Plus I'm too good looking and stunning, I couldn't deny the world of me, it would be a crime.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:57, Reply)

A sexcrime.

( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

He has to stun them. It makes it easier to drag them home.

( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I want to take someone on a date to see Star Trek now.
And when I meet them at the pictures, say the line "Set [name] to STUN(Ning)".

Oh god, I'm so cool, it hurts.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:39, Reply)

Force yourself to be sociable?
Were we that much of an effort?
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 13:58, Reply)

WE weren't Clendrix
But you were.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:01, Reply)

You made me suck your tongue.
*cries*
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:01, Reply)

MADE you?
What sick, horrible lies! I recoiled away but found myself restrained and unable to escape.

The memories hurt like a bitch.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I'm glad about your pain.
It brought more enjoyment to the whole experience.
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:04, Reply)

Serious Answer: Even "Willard 'Will 'Fresh Prince' Smith' Christopher Smith, Jnr," would be effort when the emos are happening.
Unserious Answer: It was like being the bus conductor on the Star Bus.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Is the Star Bus the WindowLickers Bus?
If so, yes. I agree.
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:09, Reply)

That's the one.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:40, Reply)

I don't really fake or mind-fuck.
I remember waking up in the middle of winter, sick, cold and lonely to go and stand on the street and work for an idiot in an exhasuting job that was rarely fun for weeks and weeks.
Getting home so late and tired that I wanted to sleep for a week.

Even then, or the time I spent on the dole in Halifax, on my own, going mad from boredom I've never harboured a desire to hurt myself.

Friends and art. as long as I've got those I'll be alright.
( WormuIus, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

"Friends and art. as long as I've got those I'll be alright."
Lovely! Same here, except art my guitar, which I can barely even play.
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I doubt many people
Have never thought idly about ending it all. I've never done anything more than engage in some hardcore bouts of self-pity-wallowing, vague romantic ideas of how everyone's life would improve, and then realising it would be massive insult to my loving family and friends.

Then I have a wank.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:02, Reply)

I'm confident that you're right.
Which is probably a good thing...except where chavs are concerned.
( Captain V, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Huh.
Usualy first thing on waking up, and last thing before I sleep. Other than that I just try to keep busy and hope my latest plan/job/relationship whatever changes my mind.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I've had a few failz (I'm delighted to say)
1 x jump-from-high-building 1994
1 x OD 2004
1 x hypothermia + OD 2004
1 x strangulation 2005
1 x getting on a plane, then another, then in the air deciding I didn't want to do this after all.

Long live teh failz.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Keep on failing.
Sounds like the internals are saving you from yourself.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 11 May 2009, 14:25, Reply)

This is quite a list, Edmund.
Please don't try to add to it though :)
( thealternativefact, Mon 11 May 2009, 14:25, Reply)