Evening.
My class will not SHUT THE FUCK UP.

Any ideas that are legal and safe to get them to be quiet?

Fortunately Mr Bin understands that Mondays are shit and has got me wankered on cheap wine already.


So go on, how would you shut up a ten year old that talks over you shouting one inch from their face telling then to shut up?


*edit* Nice to know I'm missed Al.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 18:15, 30 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

'you have 10 seconds to stop talking or you will die'

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:22, Reply)

Good idea
but that wouldn't work.
They are actually that dumb.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 18:23, Reply)

can you threaten
extra coursework? an essay or something like that?
( cackers, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:28, Reply)

my friend who is also a teacher
used to shout "SEX!" and apparently that got them all to shut up.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:27, Reply)

A good thought
While using a video camera that was plugged in to the board today, I inadvertently showed the class a close up of my chest by pointing the camera the wrong way.
This just resulted in a shout of BOOBIES.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 18:30, Reply)

Firing squad?
Put one up against the board and shoot 'em, pour encourager les autres?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:32, Reply)

hmmmm
are you allowed to take a SuperSoaker to school?

and switch the heating off in the classroom?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:34, Reply)

Don't raise your voice.
Start keeping a tally. For every time they interrupt you, they lose one minute of recess time- the entire class. (Alternatively for every interruption they're detained five minutes after school- the entire class.) Explain this to them at the beginning of class, and then without a word start keeping a tally at the top of the chalkboard. No warnings- if you're interrupted, a mark goes up. Then follow through with it and detain them. After a few times they'll get the idea.

Shouting at them only makes them tune you out. Taking away their recess and/or keeping them after school hits them where it hurts.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 11 May 2009, 18:36, Reply)

I do this
Keep a tally, they just don't get it.
They still talk.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 19:10, Reply)

but
do you carry the punishments out?
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 11 May 2009, 19:32, Reply)

Yes indeed
We have all missed 10 minutes of a 15 minute break every day for a week. They still didn't get it.

At the end of the day I won't let them go home until the all shut up. Most days they are 10 minutes late out.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 20:24, Reply)

The problem with that...
... is that you have to supervise their detention. The point is to punish them, not yourself.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 11 May 2009, 19:34, Reply)

It has to be that way sometimes.
The thing is, if you make it so unpleasant for them that they really hate it, they'll get the point. I've had to do this with my own kids- I would ground them, then stand guard over them and be so growly and terse as to make it really a lousy time. Make sure that they know that you're angry with them for making you go through it too, and stay in their faces the whole time. They'll hate it.

Again, if this is done once or twice the message will get through. It may be a drag for you, but it will work.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Mon 11 May 2009, 20:06, Reply)

Hrmmm.
Make em go out, line up on the playground untill they've been silent for 5 mins then go back in in silence? Then repeat? Something realy boring anyway
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:46, Reply)

are you ENTIRELY sure that you can't
beat fcuk out of them?

just an idea.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 11 May 2009, 18:53, Reply)

Fireworks work
Slightly smell though. And clean brains off the wall is time consuming.

If the school allows it, I'm with Loon's idea. Worked on my bastards of a class.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Mon 11 May 2009, 19:04, Reply)

Whisper into their ear "I'm Rosemarie Fritzl".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 19:06, Reply)

Excellent plan
I like this.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Mon 11 May 2009, 23:28, Reply)

True story
And I don't know whether you'd be able to pull it off at this stage, but it might provide some inspiration. Or a laugh if nothing else.

A relative of my housemate was an English teacher. One certain English set had developed themselves a reputation of being particularly awful and impossible to control. At the start of one academic year, this woman received her teaching allocations and perused them to the dawning horror that she would be teaching this particular set for that year.

She took a deep breath and had a think.

She purchased a tin of tuna and a tin of cat food. She then removed the label from the cat food tin and stuck it around the tuna tin.

Just before her first lesson with them, she opened up the disguised tuna tin, fetched a fork and started eating from it. The class came in to find her eating 'cat food,' and for that entire year, she apparently had minimal trouble with them.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 11 May 2009, 20:29, Reply)

Tuna is vile and disgusting and I will not condone it's usage in a cullonary sense.
/ac

I really realy hate tuna, and can't tell the differance between that and the cat food.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 11 May 2009, 23:21, Reply)

Well, that makes it even easier for you to try
as you only have to buy one tin and don't even need to switch any labels round. Bingo!
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 11 May 2009, 23:59, Reply)

Link then together somehow
a la Battle Royale 2, and punish the other one?
(Shippy likes linebreaks and doesn't care what you think, Mon 11 May 2009, 20:30, Reply)

I was in a class like that...
We went through 6 substitute teachers in a month. Then the new teacher came in, gave us all a text book and told us that we'd be copying it till we learnt to behave. We sat copying for a week... We then come in the next week to find that he's been made permanent.

It was Standard Grade Geography and the books did have a lot of pictures, which he also wanted copies of. Having the handwriting and general coordination of an epileptic spider dipped in ink and let loose with added strobe effects, I ended up doing the same page over and over again. 4, 2-hour blocks of sitting in silence changed everything and he rearranged the seating the next week so certain friendship groups were separated.

I'd say rearranging the seating in the class every now and then is a good thing as it gets them all mixed together and the little brat that shouts in your face, put him with the geeks or the ones that are the proper hard nuts and mock him for being stupid. :)

Good Luck with it all!
(WeeJen, Mon 11 May 2009, 21:22, Reply)

The problem is
that out of a class of 31 I have:

2 extreme behaviour problems - throwing chairs, hitting other children, telling me to fuck off etc
7 behaviour problems - answer back, refuse to work, general dicking about.
5 mild behaviour problems - sulking, walking out of the classroom etc.

So that's damn near half the class.

Still, I've only got them for another 9 weeks.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 11 May 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Ah.
You have a 'special' class, then?

Borrow some stuff from the chemistry classrooms. Lock them in the room. Come back in half an hour. Teach the survivors.
(LongJohnBaldry, Mon 11 May 2009, 22:29, Reply)

Christ...
Sounds like you've got an awful class. Technicaly I don't even think there should be a class that large with so many having behavoural problems, and the shame is that the asshole kids screw it up for the others... Do you have any backup? Teaching assistant maybe? Senior staff? Or are the senior staff as shite as in the school I worked at?
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 11 May 2009, 22:35, Reply)

A coupke
of days ago I had to leave early to go to a meeting. So the Deputy head came in for the last ten minutes.

All he had to do was to get them to tidy up and stack their chairs.
He gave up in the end.

There was a supply teacher with them last week. By 5 past nine she refused to teach them.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Tue 12 May 2009, 7:20, Reply)

you need
a big bloody spliff before work, problem sloved.
(knackerz is skinning up, Tue 12 May 2009, 0:41, Reply)

Film the class for a few sessions
Edit the highlights then rip to dvd for distribution to their parents. Show it in a whole-school assembly.

Shame the bastards into behaving!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 12 May 2009, 6:15, Reply)

Year 6 in the summer term are bastards to teach
When I was doing supply I insisted with the agency that I wouldn't teach any yr6 classes.
One lot I had (on a Friday afternoon so their teacher could piss about in the hall ignoring the bedlam of her classroom) were set to write a short story - one wisearse said he was going to write about 'Jungle Bunnies' - I stood with my mouth open.

I'm guessing you've tried positive discipline like the marbles in the jar & Golden Time...all of them are great if they're introduced at the beginning of the academic year and the children are familiar with them.

I'd suggest you speak to your SMT and get some support - you don't get paid anywhere near enough to take that sort of stress and hassle from a load of brats.

Good luck!
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Tue 12 May 2009, 13:25, Reply)