Somethings been on my mind for ages
Just can't get it out of my head. And what with the QOTW being a little, well, serious for the likes of me this week I'd just like to ask:

Has anyone else tried insertng a cocktail stick down their (or someone elses) japs eye???
( SpankyHanky, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:11, 11 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

No...
have you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:18, Reply)

A cotton bud.
I was young and scared I had a dose.

And it hurt like fuck.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:18, Reply)

I can't say I've tried it....
But I did have a voluntary test (negative) a few years back and had to have a plastic coffee stirrer type thing shoved right down my bell-end.

It hurt.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 15 May 2009, 13:23, Reply)

I've heard a thin blade of ice
works just as well...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Fri 15 May 2009, 13:42, Reply)

you're a nut job

(PsychoChomp, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Isn't there some old urban myth
about some flower (can't remember which)stalk being inserted down a gentleman's said wee wee hole...

Something to do with the small hairs on the stalk tearing apart the inside of said wee wee tube...

Can't remember details tho. Sorry.
(Psyche finishes work at the end of June! Yay!!!, Fri 15 May 2009, 14:14, Reply)

Going for an STD test
they do that to you with a small cotton swab. I know this because, as a responsible person who's sexually active, I get tested between relationships.

It hurts like hell, every time.

I've heard of people getting off on using a penis sound (work safe, just an answer to a question), but I can't imagine I'd ever enjoy it myself.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 15 May 2009, 15:31, Reply)

As the Loon says
It's called Sounding.

It's not a very good idea. I remember someone a few years back in the newspapers had real problems after sticking a necklace chain down there after they'd regularly used a piece of dry spaghetti. Maybe it was on ER.

I remember strange things.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 15 May 2009, 18:22, Reply)

I used...
to be quite into my old piercings and what not... creating holes that jesus didn't give to me and making them nice and big etc.

I did try to slide a knitting needle a 22 in, it felt kind of nice, but I won't be repeating it.

I have had a few std check and they never inserted anything 'into' the old fella - just right around the rim - I must have a bucket urethra or something...

But I quite like anal play too... hmmm
(feedingtimeatthezoo day 1 of his bikini diet started, Fri 15 May 2009, 19:24, Reply)

seriously don't try it
it's sharp, and even if you don't poke a hole in your cock with it, think of the word 'splinters'

best best is these babies:
wiki.bmezine.com/index.php/Sound
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Fri 15 May 2009, 21:12, Reply)

oooyer..
That's brought memories back of my brother's silly rugby mate, and his party trick. He used to bung 3 matches down there, set them alight, and piss on them to put them out..

I thought I'd buried that one...
(Beer Elf Thought this was like a campfire, anyhow, on, Wed 20 May 2009, 10:53, Reply)