If I had a hammer
I'd hammer it in the morning...

Got me thinking, this did - If I had a hammer I'd probably go and terrorise the kids at the comprehensive school next to my office til they gave me all their drugs.

What would you do if you had a hammer?
( SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:24, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

STOP!
Hammer Time...



I'd probably just leave it on my desk so I could start stroking it absent-mindedly when somebody (e.g., one of my students) comes in to ask me to do something I don't want to do. (You know, like work...)


Edit: Obligatory Double Entendre - I frequently hammer my hammer first thing in the morning.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I'd make a shed
Then hide in it, stroking the precious hammer.

I have a special one I use for doing tech work. I was my grandad's - old, polished wood, the head is shiny but has little traces of corrosion, some of the rust looks slightly like dried blood. It has two ends, one for nails, one for actors... I never have problems while holding my hammer.
(Potty Jag har smör i min rumpspringa, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Glad I'm not the only one
who likes to stroke their hammer.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:27, Reply)

Would it mean it was hammertime?
Blurgh - beaten to it again.


Edit - I would hit my sister over the head with it to see if it knocked any sense into her.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Sorry, but on the upside they do say great minds think alike.
Unfortunately, mine is not a great mind.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:28, Reply)

I'd be making things
Like I was last weekend.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 20 May 2009, 13:29, Reply)

If I had a hammer,
I'd makka a nissa fatt sandawige.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:30, Reply)

Ha!
This is fucking excellent, mate! Being of the Italian extraction myself I feel it only right and proper to find casual racial stereotypes aginst the Italians incredibly fucking amuzing...

Its sort of ying for the yang of me telling loads of kids at school my granddad was a high ranking member of the Mafia. They left me alone... Then the Godfather III came out and everybody just took the piss: I am not, never have been and never will be associated with Francis Ford Coppola...
( SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Heheh
That's got me giggling like a twat!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:34, Reply)

Cheers chaps!
Glad to be of service :-)
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Erm,
hammer in the morning?
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I'm a bit old-fashioned
so I'd probably just going around hitting things with it.

At the joinery shop, we used to call them 'hand-held gravity-assisted adjustable-impact spanners'
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:33, Reply)

If I had a hammer
I would buy myself a matching winged helmet... and become THOR
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:35, Reply)

Fuckin GREAT!!!
I'd buy a nice brown old person coat, get a blue rinse and a walking stick and call myself THOR-a Herd.
( SpankyHanky, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:37, Reply)

Puntastic
That made me mirth most merrily
(Bonzodog29 is an unemployed sponge of the worst kind, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:39, Reply)

Also,
If I had a hammer, I'd fix it to a dog.
Dunno why, or what it'd be for.

Actually, I don't know.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Remove some nails
from my walls.

Or fuck it off into space.

A flying hammer.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:55, Reply)

A hammer is the only tool I own.
it makes every problem look like a nail.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:56, Reply)

I was putting together some furniture at the weekend.
Didn't have a hammer, but it turned out that the "You will need a hammer" instruction was bollocks.
It's quite possible to get by with your fists, and for finer-detail work, a rolling pin.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 13:59, Reply)

I have a hammer on my desk
People look at me funny when I stroke it!




Contains 100% truth!
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 20 May 2009, 14:12, Reply)