Interesting.
I have blood seeping out of my ear. Really puts the icing on the cake of a Wednesday.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:01, 28 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Erm,
I don't think that's normal...

Do you have any idea why?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:02, Reply)

I've heard that
Shippams Paste jars are ideal for pushing haemorrhoids back in, if indeed it is piles.

EDIT: I read that as "rear". Fuck.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Never put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear or else you will damage it.
Truefax.
( girlinthehole, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:03, Reply)

You are my Grandad.
AICMFP.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:30, Reply)

Not entirely sure
why.

I don't have any Shippams Paste.

However, I do have cotton wool (ok filter tips), sellotape and gin (to disinfect). I could make some sort of weird bandage thing?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Ok, serious medical-type questions:
(I know about this kinda stuff)

Does it hurt or feel particularly warm?
Can you hear out of it?
How "red" is the blood? Like, nosebleed red? Or more dilute?
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:09, Reply)

Blood
Stings a little, but not particularly warm.

Yeah I can hear

Its more reddish than anything.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:22, Reply)

Hmmm...
How long's it been bleeding for?
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Few mins
got it to stop though. Washed it out and dabbed it with toilet paper. Got an interesting blood dribble about 1/2 inch below my ear now... From the feel of it I've cut something inside and the headphones I was wearing exacerbated the whole situation.

Having said that my sister did have a bleeding ear once, but that turned out to be salmonella in her ear.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:29, Reply)

My medical opinion is
That it's fine.

If it carries on for ages, hurts loads or feels really warm, go to the doctor.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:30, Reply)

I have faith
in Superkaol.

Just don't prescribe me mice as a cure...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:32, Reply)

Mice?
Nah, mice are only the cure for FUCKERS WHO STEAL FROM ME.
And you're not one of them :p
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:38, Reply)

How do
you know that?

I may be stealing your soul right now and putting it in a Shippams Paste jar.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:40, Reply)

...

( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:44, Reply)

It could be

this
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Hmm
I do live in a cellar flat...
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:27, Reply)

It's because you're so high up.
You love those jokes. LOVE THEM!
( thealternativefact, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Damn straight

(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:43, Reply)

:D

( thealternativefact, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:44, Reply)

You're best of all the giants,
By a long, long way.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Moi?
Not that giantish really... I went to a party last weekend and got intimidated by a 6ft 9 Slovak... made me feel tiny
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Whoa!
You made me feel little.
And apparently I "scare the shit out of" Piston, as I'm "built like a brick shit-house".
I think we should kidnap him.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:52, Reply)

You
ain't that much smaller than me... we should form a B3ta tall people club and exclude oompa lumpa's.

If we do kidnap him can we use him as a butler? I've always wanted a butler. He'd have to wear a bowtie and carry a silver tray.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Really?
Shit, I think my memory is lying to me :(
I blame the alcohol.
So you're not about a foot taller than me, with eyes like a thunderstorm?
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:58, Reply)

Oh,
And yes, I fully agree with making him our bitch.
And starting an elite society.
Minimum height 6'2?
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 16:58, Reply)

6'2"
absolute minimum.

I seem to remember I'm an inch or two taller than you. The thunderstorm eyes were probably due to the combined rum and cider pint.

That was a fun bash... I shall have to make an effort to go to another one soon.

Where would we get the rubber butlers uniform from? Also, would it be appropriate to have reins and a bit so we could ride him?
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 17:09, Reply)

Oh, ok,
I reckon I'm 6'3, so that's good.

I've not been to a bash in ages either, feel like I'm missing out :(

Hang on, rubber? We didn't agree to rubber. I think it should be wool.
Itchy, horrible wool.
( Cawl, Wed 20 May 2009, 17:14, Reply)

How
about a mixture of rubber, wool, and camel hair? Obviously the gag would have to be rubber and stainless steal.

It'd all need to be dry wipe too.

6'3? Hmm... I have almost 3 inches on you in that case.
(Zapiola zip-zap-zop, Wed 20 May 2009, 17:42, Reply)