I've decided that I have penis envy
Tell me all about your cocks so I can feel more envy.

Let me rephrase. Tell me about the best blowjob you ever received.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:43, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

It's pretty boring,
and can be very painful if you do up your flies too fast without due care and attention.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:44, Reply)

Occasionally
wee comes out of the end.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:45, Reply)

I voted for it in 1997

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 21 May 2009, 12:46, Reply)

I get erections in public
Through no fault of my own.

Buses and stuff like that. I'm not a eprvert.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:47, Reply)

There is no best one...
..blow-jobs are like pizza, even the worst one you have had is pretty good.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:53, Reply)

I dunno
Had one with digital prostate massage once. I couldn't walk for twenty minutes.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Why?
Did he kick you in the balls as he cum?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:55, Reply)

Cuntcuntcunt
Yes. Probably.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

I prefer analogue.

BOOM BOOM.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:56, Reply)

^This
Purely because, when I read 'digital prostate massage,' my first thought was to imagine some kind of electronic device you could hang off your bell-end...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:26, Reply)

Is this where you put an optic mouse up your arse?

( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:03, Reply)

None of this rubber-ball shit round here.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:04, Reply)

Not really, I've had a few where I wish we never bothered.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:17, Reply)

Also this

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:21, Reply)

words can't do it justice
*gazzes pic*
( djtrialprice, Thu 21 May 2009, 12:59, Reply)

My cock is perfectly boring.
Of average length and girth.
( WormuIus, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:02, Reply)

Mine too.
Wanna compare?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:05, Reply)

Really?
Is that what puts you in such good standing on /talk?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:10, Reply)

Proverbs 2.14
"Long and thin - goes straight in.
Short and thick - does the trick."

Which is shit if like me you have a short, thin one.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:11, Reply)

Sure? OK, here goes...
...2006, December.

Oh bugger it, I can't - too much of a gentleman / wuss (you choose).
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Thu 21 May 2009, 13:38, Reply)