Ladies and gentlemen, please help me unpick a debate
I've been having with a young lady with whom I live.

If a clean plate slides out of the cupboard and on to the floor, is it better to

a. Blow on it
or
b. Wipe it on your sleeve/trousers

on its way home?
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:14, 32 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Or c.
Treat yourself to some of life's germs.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:15, Reply)

"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger", eh?
You know, I tried this one, it just made the shouting worse...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:32, Reply)

d.
Give 'em a good crack around the head with the plate?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:35, Reply)

Out of those two I vote for (b)
Blowing on things just reminds me of battles growing up with my sister where we'd "infect" each others food by breathing on it and whatever. Consequently, blowing on things feels very unhygienic to me.

I also wouldn't rule out (c) put it back in without blowing or wiping, though that probably doesn't help with your debate.
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:16, Reply)

Hehe
Your sister sounds cool, a proper wind up merchant :-)

My lil bro was more likely to scream and cry and try to punch me...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:31, Reply)

Maybe that's what it's like between brothers
but if you have a sister you have to resort to mind games and whatever. Physical violence was never going to be her weapon of choice and it was never going to be an acceptable weapon for me to use with my having boy parts and all.

I'd prefer a punch to be honest, over and done with and you know where everybody stands. The blowing on things still messes me up now years later...
( GarbageFan didn't know what to have as a board sig on, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:49, Reply)

Wow
Yeah, that sounds messy.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:05, Reply)

Why not try a b and c at once
First wipe half the plate, then blow on the half you just wiped, and leave the original germs on the other half. A Smorgasbord of germs awaits.
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:21, Reply)

Hmm, "research"
Like it. I'll tell her it needs to be somewhere cool, dry and draft free to incubate for a bit, ie the kitchen cupboard, until I get a chance to buy a microscope tomorrow lunchtime.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:34, Reply)

That's some great points,
I'll be sure to raise them when next time we're speaking.

The c) that she mentioned, incidentally, involved soap and water and scrubbing and all in all quite an unreasonable amount of effort for one little plate: I didn't think it was worth bringing up here.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:28, Reply)

I think the 3 second rule applies here.
It is a scientific fact that as long as you pick it up within 3 seconds then the germs don't have time to get onto the plate.
( girlinthehole, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:34, Reply)

I like the idea that one of the germs
has got a stopwatch and a whistle, to enforce this rule.
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:36, Reply)

Loving that picture Tulip :-)
In my mind, he's a germ drill instructor type wearing a 1920's bathing suit... "DIIIIVE!"
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:08, Reply)

Yeah, I've heard that one.
Maybe it's something to do with their teensy size that time goes loads faster for them, bit like dog/cat years only much much faster, so those three seconds are a couple of centuries worth of terraforming to them. Brush em off in three seconds, you'll be fine.

Leave it five, there'll be germ skyscrapers, swimming baths, parliament sessions, maybe even a germ Jason Donavan. Eurgh.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:40, Reply)

urgh, Jason Donovan!
Oh - but surely the original Jason Donovan was the product of someone leaving a mug under a bed for a few years?
(happylittletulip helpless and delicious, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:44, Reply)

Without Jason Donovan
large numbers of teenage girls would have suffered from chronic water retention due to the absence of gushing fannies.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:47, Reply)

Do you know,
I always wondered why his hair was that peculiar weak brown that only week-old coffee dregs can adopt. Imagine, a whole germ civilisation working in such perfect unity that can appear to be a single being?

I guess he must have been their first attempt.
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:58, Reply)

3 seconds? Dear god woman, you'll never build up an immune system like that
10 seconds is far more like it
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:47, Reply)

I have a fantastic immune system.
I was brought up in the sixties and seventies when eating dirt was positively nurtured in children.

None of this namby pamby wet wipes business nowadays.
( girlinthehole, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:51, Reply)

I like to use wet wipes
after a particularly spicy curry.
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:53, Reply)

Have you tried keeping them in the freezer?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:55, Reply)

How dirty is your floor?
If you had an actual fox turd sitting below the crockery cupboard and the plate hit it, then I would advocate some soap and water, if it just rests on the floor, particularly if it landed bottom side down, then what's the point in doing anything?
(cheeses swept kissed a dog and he liked it., Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:43, Reply)

exZACKLY
There's no logic in this house...
(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 20:55, Reply)

Well, if you're going to put it back in the cupboard
ON TOP of the other plates, then I'd suggest the underside IS important.

But yes, trousers/shirt wipe is sufficient unless it's my kitchen.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 1 Jun 2009, 21:03, Reply)