fucking shitting christ
how difficult is it to buy a house exactly?
Very if you are dealing with imbeciles. Today I visited my solicitor to sign all the legal guff and start the completion. That is until we looked at the building plans.
I am purchasing a ground floor apartment with a wee little plot of garden at the back, however I dont have a back door, I need to walk through someone elses garden to access it.
According to the property plans the persons garden I need to traverse to access my garden is not communal access, its private property, which means it is impossible for me to actually reach my garden.

Better still at the front of my apartment I have a patio door that opens to a path and a small patch of grass. This is also private property, and not mine. So I can open the patio doors but as soon as I step out of the door im technically trespassing on somebody elses property.

What.

The.

Fuck?

This is clearly fucking wrong, which means after almost 3 months im no nearer completion, but, we have now proved to the housing association and the estate agents that we have never received the correct documentation, which means my 6 weeks to completion actually starts when they provide the right property plans, and I get a cool £1000 cashback, wheee.
But what a fucking palava this is!
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:19, 20 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

What?
Who the hell dreamt this up.

Is it worth asking the person who currently lives there what they do?

Is there some thing about if somewhere has been used as a path way long enough then it becomes a right of way. I may well have imagined this.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:23, Reply)

its
a new build
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:31, Reply)

What the fuck?
I figured you were talking about some house that had been split into flats or something.

That is just fucking daft!
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:32, Reply)

nope
there are four plots on the location, and my garden is the only one with no actual direct access. genius planning
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:38, Reply)

What company did the build?
sounds fairly typical of a few i've worked with.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:41, Reply)

BPHA

(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Can you get these dumb fucks
to move the patio doors?

What were they thinking?
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:46, Reply)

well we are presuming
they have monumentally fucked up the property plan, rather than the actual house and need to add a few more communal areas to the plan but still, a little thought wouldn't go amiss
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:01, Reply)

That is pretty ridiculous
How much of that is "these plans are wrong" and how much is "the plans are right but the reality is fucked up" ?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 20:46, Reply)

99.999999%
wrong plans we hope.

Otherwise there is going to be Cambridgeshires smallest wild meadowland in the middle of a housing estate
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:02, Reply)

I'm in Cambridgeshire
Tue - Thurs! Oh and it's forecast to piss it down. Fan-fucking-tastic

But yeah that sucks ass. Build a massive bridge over the other persons garden or something
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:06, Reply)

I prefer pavlova to palava

(PsychoChomp, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:08, Reply)

I prefer flirting with you
than with those other girls.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:16, Reply)

Y'know, I saw concrete eveidence in the other thread somewhere down there
that shows that you're resigned to being a girl. Well done.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:18, Reply)

It's about time she manned the fuck up and accepted her gender.

( girlinthehole, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:36, Reply)

I'd recommend
anyone buying a place to go to the Local Authority website and do a search there for the Unitary Developent Plan, most Local Authorities will have an interactive map where you can do a search for the property you're looking to buy. You can find out loads of stuff about zoning and planning applications; whether they've been refused or granted, and various other bits and peices that'll help you decide whether there's any nasty stuff waiting further down the line before you even view a property.

Really is worth five mins work on this here internet thing...
( SpankyHanky, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 21:57, Reply)

5 minutes...HA! what planet are you on?
seriously, buying property in teh UK is the most convoluted and drawn-out process in the world, even more so than the former Socialist entity that is Poland.

also, buying "off-plan" is a total minefield. just cos it's on a drawing sitting on a desk DOESN'T mean that it's also sitting on foundations, on a building site in the real world...






most surveyors (building, quantity or whatever) are 21yo wankers with less than no clue about anything...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:37, Reply)

Well
This is what I do for a living - preparing and flogging these reports to legal firms. I didn't say it takes five minutes to buy a house, I said it takes five minutes to check before you even view a property to see if there's any nasty stuff at the Local Authority planning or land charges offices that shows up on a preliminary search; this would save a shitload of time before you even view a property and start the house buying process.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 9 Jun 2009, 8:11, Reply)

Tell me about it Halfy
Buying a house seems to take a fucking age. We bought Tourette's place about 18 months ago. She'd been renting from the council and basically got the full discount, so a bargain. No chain, already living there... and it still took 6 fucking months to complete. All so the council could screw another 6 months rent from us.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:02, Reply)

christ what a nightmare
Amusingly enough this lot are getting impatiant for me to complete quickly, the estate agent even pulled out the "its a very popular property and lots of people are interested in it" to which i pointed out that

1) are you threatening me?
and
2) If you all stopped fucking about chivvying me along and actually gave us everything we needed to complete 3 months ago like you were supposed to you would all have your fucking money by now

Dumbarses
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 8 Jun 2009, 22:46, Reply)