There is a guy on my facebook who comes up with some great pearls of wisdom..




( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:08, 31 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I've removed people as friends for less.
My personal hatred is people who live out their relationships via facebook status updates.

"I miss my special someone so much can't wait 2c u again XXXXXXX"

fuck off.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:11, Reply)

Yup, I've removed a few couples who were like that.
"My baby brght me flowers 2day, love you honeybunny !"
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:14, Reply)

One of my friends
is Portuguese so her and her man spend most of their time updating their Facebook status with little Portuguese words of lurve to one another, like it’s a secret language which has been created solely for them to message each other with.

I originally thought it was quite cute until I got informed every time they did this to one another, now it just gets on my tits.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:30, Reply)

Not as bad as long, drawn out breakups over status update
All those terrible, terrible passive agressive messages.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:14, Reply)

Hahaha!
Those are the best!
Like watching a particularly beautiful car crash in slow motion.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:16, Reply)

I thought so too
But there's been a spate of couples doing it in my friendship group recently. After the fourth or so "xxxxx is upset, lonely and miserable and will never trust her heart again" it gets a bit bile-inducing.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:19, Reply)

I find that setting your own status to
"Kaol is not upset, lonely or miserable and will always trust his heart"

Works as a nice riposte.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:21, Reply)

Ha ha ha!
Okay, I'm going to try that one. But what if they put aside their current relationship problems to crucify me as a heartless insensitive bastard? Oh, and yeah - agreed. Breakups on status are probably better than lovey ones. Just got a "xxx is in xxxx and missing her better half already x x x" pop up.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:24, Reply)

I just got a
"XXXX XXXXX is not getting any-fucking-thing done."
Of course you're not, if you're posting on bloody facebook.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Yeah - pretty obvious that one.
I went through a phase of randomly using lyrics from what I happened to be listening to. But I kinda had to stop that after I was listening to the smiths and I got a load of people asking wether I was ok.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:31, Reply)

Actually,
That was Captain V's status, but he doesn't seem to be swallowing the bait :(
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:34, Reply)

I think it should say
"You shouldn't trust Kaol, he will eat your heart"
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Tried to add you on FB, Missy
But there was no option to do so. Denied.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:27, Reply)

Send me a message
and I'll add ye!
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:29, Reply)

That reminds me,
I can't add you :(
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:30, Reply)

I'd been on facebook 2 hours and I figured it out
Pffft.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:34, Reply)

What, how to specifically add him?
I can't even see him on the profiles of people we're mutual friends with.
( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Oh no
My bad - I meant to reply to Lab vis adding CHCB.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 16:26, Reply)

I'll gaz you to sort this out ;)

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Nicely done, good Sir.

( Cawl, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:44, Reply)

This I love that shit,
"XXX XXX: has screwed everything up"
"xxx xxx: can't believe how cruel people can be"
(PsychoChomp, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Phsyco Chomp likes this.
Aww man, u really care !
yeah', that's it.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:25, Reply)

Yeah one of my friends
constantly has things like "Got my new BMW today and misses my lickle Loulou so much"

Hence my aversion to going on facebook
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:20, Reply)

Plus there is no more fresh meet on there for you to have your way with.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:30, Reply)

People have started texting me saying
"I sent you a message on facebook"

For the love of god just text me the actual fucking message, they all know I never check it.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:32, Reply)

What
a twat.
(Eds Meds Mathskillz=1,Socialskillz=0, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:13, Reply)

I have two acquaintances
A couple. They insist on talking to each other on their status updates and comments, in text speak, even though they're in THE SAME FUCKING ROOM!

*spits*
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:26, Reply)

Delete them
From existence.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:29, Reply)

Ooh, can I be The Inquisitor?
That'd kick ass.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:39, Reply)

I have so much
to look forward to.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 15 Jun 2009, 15:36, Reply)