If my windscreen ever got chipped
that Gavin from Autoglass could definitely come and fix it. He makes me all confused.

If you were to... You know... Put one in a member of the same sex, who would it be?

Edited because I'm fucking stupid.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 9:58, 38 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

I'm confused
.
(Himjim died a little more inside on, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Not the only one

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:05, Reply)

I think he means the same sex.

( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:08, Reply)

I agree
Obviously Gavin has him even more confused than he thought
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, Reply)

Gah!
What a grade-A spastic. Bloody work.

Edited.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:16, Reply)

Isn't Gavin
a poorly dubbed Northerner?
(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:12, Reply)

I have a long
list of women I would sleep with
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Am I on it?
Ooops! Just remembered how young you are : )
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:21, Reply)

You sure are
I'm sure there is much you could teach me ;)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:25, Reply)

I have no cock sadface.
However, I still choose Madam Marlboro or Ancrenne.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Rachel Weisz

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Good Choice!

(Ethelred is watching cheese grow, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:30, Reply)

now that is something I would pay to see
rachel weisz is unbelievably lovely, and I suspect (with good reason) that CHCB is a filthy minx.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

I'm phoning her agent now.
She hasn't been doing much lately and I'm sure she'd appreciate the money.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:33, Reply)

let me know how that pans out
and if there is anything else I can do to sweeten the deal.

also, if you could get Zoey Deschanel involved too I would be eternally grateful
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:34, Reply)

All of the b3ta ladies, of course
Nigella Lawson
Whatshername from Lost - the one with the strange name and great arms and hair, plays Kate
I can't remember names today, but the other one would be the really famous actress who was in Pretty Woman, I know, I know, *everyone* knows her name but it's escaped me today. And I'd only have her now since the photos of her in a bikini were published and she's had three children, including twins - I'd want to compare baggy bellies.
Wish I could remember her bloody name! Notting Hill...big mouth, teeth and hair...perky...rather annoying

JULIA ROBERTS!!!

See kids - that's what happens to old people in the heat - we forget things.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:38, Reply)

Pffft!
How old are you?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:40, Reply)

I'm a little younger than Kylie Minogue!
But older than Danii.


I also have less plastic in me than both of them.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:41, Reply)

"I also have less plastic in me than both of them."
Even if PJM is away for the weekend?

*sniggers*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 12:54, Reply)

Remembering
Isn't that what people did before they had access to the internet on their phones?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

You mean
Evangeline Lilly, I believe.

I would too. But that's not the question!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Yes, that's her!
Fantastic arms, great hair, complete action woman.

Actually, all of these women I don't want to sleep with them, I want to *be* them!

I'll have the cooking skills of Nigella, along with the sauciness,
the arms and hair of Evangeline Lilly, and her figure and physical prowess,
the laugh, legs and bank balance of Julia Roberts.

Sorted.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:20, Reply)

I would do Julia Roberts in Hook
Obviously when Tinkerbell grows to full size, otherwise it's impractical.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:16, Reply)

Stephen
Hawking.

Because he wouldn't be able to fight me off
( chart cat has an itch, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:42, Reply)

A spot of tribadism with the following would not go amiss.
KD Lang
Sigourney Weaver
The french women with the skinhead who I saw at pride years ago but never approached because I'm a bloody wimp.
( girlinthehole, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:45, Reply)

Oh wait, we can have anyone?
Oh then I add
Angelina Jolie
Drew Barrymore
Liv Tyler
Leela
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:46, Reply)

Leela?
As in Dr Who's assistant from years ago?

/geek
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:49, Reply)

Hell no
Leela from Futurama
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:52, Reply)

Good choice,
but you wouldn't want to try an Angry Pirate on her.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Ooh no, that'd a bit wrong

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 10:56, Reply)

Cote de Pablo.
I would turn for that woman like that! *clicks fingers*
Others:
Nicki Aycox
Summer Glau
Mayko Nguyen
Christina Scabbia
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:10, Reply)

Fellaz Reprazent!
Ok, I'd become a buttfucking queer for:

Trent Reznor
Maynard James Keenan
Jonny Depp (if only to brag to my female friends that I've had him)
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:17, Reply)

"become"?
Not what V told me...
( Cawl, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:19, Reply)

V is a lying sack of shit
But I'd still do him. Spite-fucks FTW!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:20, Reply)

I believe you also
said you'd fuck Daniel Craig
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Did I?
Ah yes, again primarily so I could boast to a friend who fancies him.
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:24, Reply)

Katy Perry

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Desmond from Lost
We're all a bit gay for Desmond aren't we. Aren't we?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 29 Jun 2009, 11:31, Reply)