I've sneezed four times today
which means I must have swine flu. If anyone else wants it I'll come round and sneeze on you at work for a small fee.

and happy birthday Bill
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:33, 24 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Happy birthday Bill!
I want a giant Bill Murray :(

xkcd.com/517/
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:34, Reply)

Did you see that comic
And then buy Bill's one or is this a case of art imitating life?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:36, Reply)

The comic was released before I bought the gun
But I'd forgotten about it when I was looking for a present for Bill. CHCB reminded me about the comic yesterday.

I'm so pleased I finally managed to get the right marshmallows (with CHCB's help).
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:38, Reply)

Bit late, from what I've heard.

( Cawl, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:43, Reply)

There may have been 3kg of unusable marshmallows, yes.

( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:47, Reply)

Have you eaten them all yet?
Or at least used them to make little marshmallow men
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:50, Reply)

There's a little under a kg in our sweet cupboard so my Dad will probably eat those
And I've got a 500g bag in my room somewhere that wasn't opened at the bash. I think the rest have been given away or eaten.
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:54, Reply)

I've got a bag.
But I have to wait until the next time I light the stove before I can toast them. So, autumn, probably.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:55, Reply)

Oh yea
That 500g bag isn't in my room at all, CHCB has it.
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:56, Reply)

You needed the space in your rucksack
and it was the lightest thing I could think of to offer to carry.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:00, Reply)

( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Have you lost your voice?
HURRRRRRAH
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:58, Reply)

Cunt
Nope, still working. CUNT CUNT CUNT.
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Uncalled for
:(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:11, Reply)

You were libelous towards me

( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:15, Reply)

No more than usual

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:15, Reply)

And I was no nicer to you than usual
So all is right in the world you cunt.
( Captain V, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Say something about her vagina
she loves that.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:18, Reply)

Yeah
*cries*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:19, Reply)

My throat's a little sore
And I feel warm. Clearly I have a fever and should go home for two weeks bed rest.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Isn't Birmingham
supposed to have the highest amount of cases? I'm surprised you haven't had it already
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I loved that this morning on GMTV
penny whatsherface had the audacity to ask the shadow health minister if things were just being hyped up too much. From a programme which practically has their presenters orgasming over how bad swine flu is.

Really fucks me off. It's a fucking bug, you'll probably get it, you'll feel shit for a week or so and then you'll go back to work. A very tiny percentage of people who get it will die. That's sad, but if they die they are clearly weak specimens and would have died of something else soon enough.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:17, Reply)

I like how giving a name to a flu strain rather than a letter number combo
instantly makes people freak out. Statistically you're more likely to die from the seasonal one than any of the major "panics" of recent years.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:22, Reply)

And indeed you're 46%
more likely to die in a Badger Vagina related falling injury than from the flu.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 21 Jul 2009, 10:24, Reply)