Well that's buggered up the rest of the year
Apparently, 10% of the total workforce in the company I work for (Fujitsu) are up for redundancy. And we're all at risk.

As can be expected, I'm not in the best of moods right now, having never encountered anything like this before.

Fucksocks.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:42, 43 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Join the hords of us
who have already been made redundant. Man the fuck up and for the love of god please don't wriite any "stand up" about your experiences
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:46, Reply)

Oh I won't be.
Still, it may prove a way to pass the otherwise dull evenings, so who knows?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:54, Reply)

whenever i see someone less fortunate than i,
and let's face it, who isn't less fortunate than i?
my tender heart tends to start to bleed.
and when someone needs a makeover,
i simply have to take over!
i know i know exactly what they need!

and even in your case,
though it's the toughest case i've yet to face,
don't worry, i'm determined to succeed!
follow my lead,
and yes indeed, you will be...

POPULAR! you're gonna be popular!
i'll teach you the propper ploys,
when you talk to boys,
little ways to flirt and flounce, ooh!
i'll show you what shoes to wear!
how to fix your hair!
everthing that really counts to be...

POPULAR! i'll help you be popular!
you'll hang with the right cohorts,
you'll be good at sports,
know the slang you've got to know.
so let's start,
'cause you've got an awfully long way to go!
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:05, Reply)

*Grabs by the hand and spins round*
Gonz is so great, Gonz is so great, look at him, he's so great.
*Twirls*
Gonz is so great, great great great, because he's so great.
*jives*
Lovely lovely gonz, is just like gonz, who is great, because he's gonz.
*jazz hands*
gooooooooonnnnnnnnnzzzzzzzzzz
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Without wanting to kick you when you are down...
although this may have nothing to do with you, or your company...

Our computers are provided and managed by fujitsu-siemens, the staff of which are the most useless, cretinous bunch of incompetent retards who ever walked the earth.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:47, Reply)

may have noth will have some
( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Ah.
A different part of the company to me. You'll find all of my colleagues are quite good at their job, although they do read far too much BOFH.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Statisticly, you work with a peadofile.
And if not, you must be one yourself.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Hehehe
Funny you should say that. A colleague of mine until very recently was dating a 17 year old.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:58, Reply)

How old is s/he?
The peadofile, not the 17 year old.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:00, Reply)

36.

( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:26, Reply)

"colleague" yeah *nods slowly*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:09, Reply)

I used to be one
but then I grew up
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:02, Reply)

1 in 10?
Not bad odds, I wouldnt panic yet.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:49, Reply)

Gonz is so great, gonz is so great, 9 out of 10 he'll rate, because he's really that great.
Gonz is so great, he doens't get irate, because gonz is so great, la la la, gonz is so great.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:52, Reply)

*points*
Mentaller.
WHAT DAY NEXT WEEK?
( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:54, Reply)

I don't know, I can't decide right now, you decide for me.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Tuesday, 2pm.

( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:57, Reply)

Done !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Like a fucking kipper.

( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:59, Reply)

Is this the beginning of a new B3ta romance....?
I can provide violin music and candles, if required?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:06, Reply)

We regualry meet up for HAWT D8s, I'm having one tonight actually.
All the hot-mahmas wanna go for thai food and ice cream with gonz.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:08, Reply)

It must be the latent sex appeal
you ooze from every pore
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:09, Reply)

I'm one hot-potato.
Just the other day I was walking past a group of girls and they said.
"Oh gee oh gosh oh my, that's one dreamboat, I hope one day a gal like me can get a catch like that. Yum, if he was a ice lollypop, he'ld be a FAB."
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:11, Reply)

aww
you make me smile so much Gonz.

Well after I figure out what the hell you're on about :p
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:12, Reply)

Don't figure it out.
Your brain will collapse.
( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:14, Reply)

=D
You should totally run away with him to Benador.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:25, Reply)

Benador?
Is this a region of Middle Earth?
( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:26, Reply)

Just ice-cream next time.
Ice-cream + Thai food + a helping of Gonz = too much!
( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:14, Reply)

Apparently, I'm the leading cause of diabities agmonst the local female population.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:24, Reply)

Ensure that you keep your job
by shitting on your desk, then nobody will want to come anywhere near you
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 15:53, Reply)

I thought you worked for the council.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Not quite.
Tech support for Government Offices for the Regions- a middle layer of government between local councils and central government, seemingly staffed by complete idiots who don't appear to know one end of a keyboard from another, and picnic errors are commonplace (problem in chair, not in computer).
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:28, Reply)

All I got from that post
was you are a complete idiot who works for the government.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:35, Reply)

I got that from chompy's post

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:36, Reply)

I got that when I met him.

( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:48, Reply)

+ a
( Cawl, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Wot?

( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:51, Reply)

Meat

( Cawl, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:52, Reply)

That's your job, not mine.

( thealternativefact, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 16:56, Reply)

Not at all.
A complete idiot who works for Fujitsu, it seems.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 17:14, Reply)

I've been made redundant a couple of times
each time I've gone on to better things and now get paid shit loads for doing fuck all in a hot country.

Though, that probably won't happen to you & you'll end up destitute, selling your bumhole to strangers for your next fix. Sorry about that.
( broadsword now that's fresh, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 3:47, Reply)

...but...
...that IS a step up.
(dchurch bah, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 17:21, Reply)