What one person do you most regret sleeping with and why?
Mine would be Bert. The reason? He hasn't shut the fuck up about it since. There's a fine line between being pleased with the fact that you pulled someone and harping on about it for months and months ad infinitum.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:24, 89 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I regret sleeping with al
Sex ever since has been banal and pedestrian in comparison.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:26, Reply)

You're doing it wrong then
Sex with Al should not be a pleasant experience, more of a stomach curdling, bone chilling memory
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:29, Reply)

But al was so tender with me
because it was my first time.

In truth, I don't think I've ever regretted sleeping with anyone. But then I am quite particular about that kind of thing.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:30, Reply)

OMGZ did u just call me a slag?
BY PROXY?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:33, Reply)

I prefer the term
brazen hussy
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

I'm not sure which is worse to be honest

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:35, Reply)

OTOH
I do wish I'd slept with more people so I suppose it balances out
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:36, Reply)

This is why I hate the double standards that still get applied.
If a guy fucks someone, he's a stud, if a girl fucks someone, she's a slag. Bert doesn't fall into the above category though because in real life he's meek as a kitten.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:39, Reply)

I'm quite willing to take on the epithet "slag"
I just need some help from some more ladies.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:41, Reply)

Sorry I don't do b3tans

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:49, Reply)

the presumption of the woman!
*shocked*
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:54, Reply)

cough, sorry.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:59, Reply)

¬_¬






renounces b3ta login

Take me now!
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:00, Reply)

Tart
;-)
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:03, Reply)

a male tart I am
I apologise for nothing!
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:08, Reply)

I knew a girl who loved sex and oozed sexuality. I was in awe of her.
It's OK for women to sleep around because you love sex but not because you think it will make you popular or cool.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:42, Reply)

Oh I agree, but you're a woman saying that.
I know of too many people who actually believe that having sex with lots of people will make them popular.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:50, Reply)

He was probably cowed by your hilarious instability
Another b3ta lolmental ahoy
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:14, Reply)

That's the bit that really made me chuckle.
Thanks Rory for garnering another belly laugh
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:21, Reply)

srsly
i can see his point without ever having met you

I have seen you knocking around east finchley, that anticlimax is for another story
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:50, Reply)

Why? Because I don't do my best to look like a pretty girl who wears make up and does her hair nicely every day
and doesn't smile and say hello to everyone? Oh for shame. My secret's out. I'm a bit of a grumpy cunt in real life. Oh NOES.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:59, Reply)

wobble
stop being such a spastic and crying about Bert's posts
pick on someone your own size like piston_broke or VC
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:39, Reply)

I regret sleeping with someone.
It was the best sex I ever had and could have got even better if he'd not chickened out.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:29, Reply)

Better to have fucked and lost than never to have fucked at all?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

No.
It will never be that good again.

Of this I am certain.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:38, Reply)

So by that logic, you'd rather not have the memory of outstandingly good sex because you're assured that it will never happen again?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:40, Reply)

Yup!
This is what saddens me the most.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:43, Reply)

I find that rather sad also
Not you, but the fact that instead of being willing to train someone to be as good - I'm sure it could be done with a willing participant - you'd rather relegate that period in time to history.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:51, Reply)

At some point you will find someone that turns you on mentally.
Everything else is easy after that.

Maybe I've just been unlucky in that it's only happened once.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:58, Reply)

Erm...already did
Doesn't happen often though
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:00, Reply)

there has to be a peak
at some point. Good that you know how good it can get.

No?
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:42, Reply)

It's not about technique or stamina or anything like that.
It's about being comfortable letting go and willing to experiment, no matter how freaky.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:49, Reply)

I know what you mean
You're sure you'll never find anyone you can be that close to again though? That's kinda sad.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:56, Reply)

It's very sad.
And a waste of what could have been.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:01, Reply)

there, there
*pats shoulder gently*

Now be a good BGB and MTFU already.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:09, Reply)

Already done.
If I MTFU anymore then I shall need gender testing.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:19, Reply)

Easy
A crusty punk & former heroin addict - could & perhaps is riddled full of all sorts.

Had an std test the other week, all clear.
(PassTheKhat, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:33, Reply)

I'm guessing they were easy
Good news on the STD test though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:34, Reply)

Robbie.
I don't necessarily regret it, cause daaayum, but I wish I would've waited because I was the rebound girl.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:41, Reply)

Was he pretty?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 20:52, Reply)

Ginger
gangly
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:02, Reply)

Not worth it then
MTFU
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:12, Reply)

why you telling me to man up?
I've got no fucking problem with it.
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:26, Reply)

Sorry love
I thought you meant you wish you'd waited because he'd have been worth waiting for.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:31, Reply)

it would've been good either way
I mean I wish I would've waited to avoid drama
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:33, Reply)

So why not give him a call and ask him over now?
I double dare you.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:35, Reply)

he's a wanker
and he's got a girlfriend
and I'm at work
and and and and
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:41, Reply)

Wuss
No wait, smart. Ginger pubes is never a good idea ,)
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:44, Reply)

he didn't trim :(
*flosses with pubes*
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:48, Reply)

Oh god that's just wrong.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:59, Reply)

oooooooh yea
when you come up and feel like you're chewing on a ball of yarn and it gets all back in your teeth and in those crevices in your mouth where you can't reach and you're gagging...bleh

off work now! bye lovelies!
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:02, Reply)

That I've not experienced, but I have the lovliest image in my head now
of you yakking up a pubeball. Nice.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:14, Reply)

I went down on a ginger girl once
I looked like I'd swallowed Garfield.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Methinks the girl doth protest too much.
That's Shakespeare ya know.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:32, Reply)

Wormulus
Because he went running out the room crying that he'd never come back...


He came back.

Acted like nothing had ever happened :(
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:10, Reply)

Hasn't he done that several times now?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:12, Reply)

I haven't slept with enough people to regret any of them
one night stands are an alien concept to me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:15, Reply)

One night stands are fun.
It's more about adventure than sex.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:20, Reply)

I slept with JMG
he cried afterwards as it was his first time.
( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:21, Reply)

He told me it was his first time.
But he may have meant anally.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:22, Reply)

Did you knock his back door in?

( Mrs Entity is in hiding., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:29, Reply)

Rubs knees
Feeeeeeeeeeeeeeelth
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

The first guy I slept with was a twat
put me right off sex for about a year after. Don't get drunk and lose it to a cock eyed twat kids
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:21, Reply)

Or. Don't get drunk and agree to sleep with a b3tan because they're practically begging for it.
because they'll manage to slip that little fact into every single thread they start from here on in.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:27, Reply)

In all fairness Becky
If I'd slept with you I'd probably be bragging too
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:27, Reply)

Pfft, flattery will get you everywhere ,)
I just don't get it. I mean, he must have had sex before, right?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:33, Reply)

Sure
you can get it pretty cheap nowadays and order online!
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaa
Special offers on 2fer1's every Wednesday
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:39, Reply)

Don't worry.
We know it was a mercy fuck : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:30, Reply)

In fairness, he was pretty good at the time, but it's the constant barrage of I'VE HAD SEX since then that just makes me think he's a total fucking tool.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:34, Reply)

It's a man thing innit.
We don't go bleating every time we get our end away.

Take comfort in the knowledge that he's bragging about it.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:38, Reply)

But over a year later?

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:39, Reply)

Wait a sec, hold on one gosh darn minuite here....
... that actually works? You just beg a pleed and eventually you get your naughty bits touched?

Oh GOD, I've been doing it wrong for ALL THESE YEARS.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:49, Reply)

59 replies and no one knew the correct answer?
YM.

Christ what has this place become?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:38, Reply)

But I don't regret sleeping with your mum.
She taught me everything I know.

Including that trick with the pingpong balls.
( girlinthehole, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:41, Reply)

She's such a good teacher.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:45, Reply)

I heard that between the two of you, you can get a good run going now, at least 10 or soo.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:59, Reply)

ah but you failed to give the reason why we regret
sleeping with YM.

Answer: it's because she's always trying to set us up with her blonde short haired daughter.
( djtrialprice, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 21:53, Reply)

Haaaa
you've met my mum haven't you? She does this way too much for my liking.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:01, Reply)

Hey folks!
Borrowing housemate's PC due to theft.

I don't regret sleeping with anyone. All have been pleasing enough in there own ways. Some have been embarrassing once they've become public knowledge, but hey ho.
( Boss Keloid Got your mother's maiden name tattooed on my arm, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:00, Reply)

Sort of 2
one I didn't regret at the time but do now.
one I regretted at the time but now I don't.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:02, Reply)

Good story

(TheColonel, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:00, Reply)

I'm still waiting for my wedding day.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Wed 26 Aug 2009, 22:55, Reply)

Wait a minute
What about picklefairy?
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 26 Aug 2009, 23:34, Reply)

Mine would be the girl who chatted me up found out where I live and turned up with a bottle of vodka
She got me pissed and said she wanted no string attached sex.
I complied and it was awful she pulled when I pushed and pushed when I pulled. She acted like she got all her moans and groans from 70's porn.

Turns out she was a virgin and was worried she would be crap first time with her boyfriend and used me for a practice shag.
( Peej, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:44, Reply)

None of them.

(Richard Earl of Cambridge Cruel, Savage, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 9:56, Reply)

One,
but she was a heifer.
(TheColonel, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:01, Reply)

My best friend Ali when I was 15
she was a crusty LSD dealer who lived in a caravan and was really quite fat'n'orrible but we were best mates and hung out together every day. I'd no idea she was harbouring lustful intentions until one night we got horrendously pissed and to my deep regret we had rubbish sex.

Things were never the same after that. A week later she told me she loved me and I felt awful because I didn't feel the same. She was really, really upset and moved to the US to hang around with Jane's Addiction. Haven't spoken to her in 20 years now.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 27 Aug 2009, 10:07, Reply)

Anne Widdecombe

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 27 Aug 2009, 11:32, Reply)