Ghost Atreides
I saw your post at the weekend, but I've only just been able to get online for long enough to reply.

Some advice to you, or anybody who is considering meeting their long-lost parents;

Be open-minded, have low expectations. I was pretty open minded about meeting my biological Dad, but my brother wasn't. Dad just wanted to be mates and not really have a lot to do with us, 30 year old brother wanted Daddy cuddles, games of football in the park and holding hands while out on picnics. As you can imagine, this caused big problems between them.

Get to know him, and any long-lost siblings by email, text or networking sites for a few months first. This will be particularly useful if their family turn out to be a bunch of lunatic-mentals. My bio-Dad was divorcing his new wife when I met him, I got dragged into their mess.

If one of your new-found, long-lost siblings develops a crush on you RUN I can't blame her on this one, not because I think she was attracted to my dazzling looks or sparkling personality; I most young women would probably fall for a younger, nicer version of their own father, and a certain condition some long-lost relatives suffer from called GSA (genetic sexual attraction), may have been a factor.

So there you go, if none of this is relevant to you reading this, can somebody please tell me; Is Tweety-pie male or female? -it's been bugging me for years.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:41, 44 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I always assumed an effeminate male

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Effeminate male?
Could be, but it's the eyelashes that suggest to me that it could be a female. Perhaps it's somewhere in-between?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:45, Reply)

I always assumed he was male bird.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:46, Reply)

Look at the eyelashes
the voice, the mannerisms, it just can't be a boy.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:47, Reply)

you've been having a fist kebab while thinking about tweetie pie haven't you?
there's no other reason for your insistence
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)

You're so astute
I'm going to have to banish you from my internet
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:49, Reply)

that's what they say
not sure I can hold with this banishing though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)

BEGONE
*poof*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)

you're the poof
and into bestiality to boot....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)

You just made me lick my lips
God, he'd have a tiny cock, wouldn't he? Mine would look ginormous in comparison...

*slathers*
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)

male
all the way down to his feathery balls
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:47, Reply)

You're wrong
wronger than Wronger Wrongington of Wrong Street, Wrongsy-on-the-wold, Wrongshire
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:48, Reply)

heeellllllooooooooooooooo?
have you ever thought about him being gay?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I've thought about it
often
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I bet you have
bow chicka wow wow
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

that got a laugh
good work
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)

how rare

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:55, Reply)

Only as rare as your mum
turning down cock
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:56, Reply)

wh...she never !

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:58, Reply)

Of course she didn't
It's not in her nature. She gets as much as she can, as often as she can.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:59, Reply)

yeah but she'll never catch up to how many horses you've slept with, no matter how many men she fucks
what's your number again?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:03, Reply)

Horses don't do it for me at all
I've always been more of a donkey lover.

My phone number is 555-SLAGHOLE
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:04, Reply)

shall I call you then?

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:05, Reply)

No, call me now

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:06, Reply)

It's not working.
Have you given me the rejection hotline number?
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:08, Reply)

I'd never do that
are you adding the +44 code for the UK?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:09, Reply)

I cannot add a +
It works if I just dial out, or add a one.

I mean, it works on other numbers. Not yours.

Stop yanking my chain, monkeyfuck
( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:14, Reply)

What would you rather I yank instead?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:15, Reply)

I'm sure you can think of something

( Lisette von Falcon, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:17, Reply)

I'm yanking my plank over you, a septic tank

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:19, Reply)

my mum
turns the cock down, and then round a bit.....so she can get it farther up her fucking STINKHOLE.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:59, Reply)

Lovely
is it just your cock she does that too, or is anyone fair game?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:00, Reply)

if you got the cash,
you can stick up her dirty gash!

if you have enough for a few freddo's, or even a chomp, then your still in!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 16:07, Reply)

Male.
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tweety_Bird
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Problem solved
but now I'm going to have to come to terms with my homosexual bestiality
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:51, Reply)

I have a funny feeling you came to terms with it a long time ago.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:52, Reply)

Physically, maybe
but the mental damage has been alot to deal with
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 13:53, Reply)

To you?
Or to anyone who's spent more than five minutes listening to you?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:06, Reply)

Option B
You girl-haired amputee-nub-toucher
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Officelol.

( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Are you picking on me now?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:24, Reply)

No.
Lic made me laugh is all.
( girlinthehole, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:31, Reply)

You love him and want his babies?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 16:04, Reply)

He's a little fucking poof
Sylvester is a big fucking poof and off camera they're rutting like god-knows-what...
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 2 Sep 2009, 14:39, Reply)