So, we've all been reduced to drooling over pictures of scantily-clad women who put their make up on with a blunderbuss
So let's have a nice gay thread. Ladies and homos, which man would you most like to have tickling your uterus, and men if you had to, absolutely positively had to, which one of althegeordie's orifices would you stuff an aubergine into?

EDIT
Is it just me, or has this place become unbelievably shit lately? In the month that I've been back I've found it almost as boring as work.
What do you think is the reason for the downfall of Off Topic, and who, if anyone, do you blame the most?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:43, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

His left one.

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:45, Reply)

His left orifice?
You ruddy communist
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:46, Reply)

I'd totally do him up the Iron Curtain

(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Just as long as you don't leave any Marx

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:57, Reply)

I've had plenty of practice
But unfortunately these days my battery-powered Russian sex doll keeps Stalin on me...
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

If you like, I could try Lenin you my one?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:01, Reply)

How many Marx would you give it out of ten?

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:11, Reply)

We've already done Marx, you daft git
I ought to kick you in the bolsheviks
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:16, Reply)

Make sure, when kicking
that you swing your leg upwards at the appropriate Engels otherwise you could pull a muscle.
(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

And be careful when you're Putin your boots on

(Bazongaloid, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:27, Reply)

Enough with the Vladi awful puns already!

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:40, Reply)

Could get messy if he's got the Trotskys.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:45, Reply)

Sergio Garcia
He looks like he could go all night and still give you a lovely cuddle afterwards
(Halfy By light alone, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

I agree
Sergio Garcia is to blame for OT being shit
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:52, Reply)

He's got a lovely smile
you massive bender
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:52, Reply)

Lil Wayne

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:51, Reply)

But.....but...but
he's black awful
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:53, Reply)

HUSH
this is clearly where you're wrong
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:57, Reply)

He looks like a tramp

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

No sir
I want to lick his skin off
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:18, Reply)

Who do I blame the most?
I'd prefer to blame to moist. They have always been my downfall.

I don't know. OT has previously been a good place to go when the main QOTW has got boring, is about to end, or was shit in the first place. This week and last, the questions have been alright - or at least have generated plenty of interest - so I guess more people have been over there. But then will it was still a bit tepid yesterday, when the IT question was winding down, so perhaps there's a deeper rot than that.

Is it possible? Have we lost "teh funneh?"
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:54, Reply)

Did we ever have it to begin with?

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:55, Reply)

We believed we did.
And we dreamed of a land where we had the freedom to spread teh funneh to all and sundry. And then we lost it and just started trading creatively written insults.

You felching cockburger.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Creatively written?
Maybe at first, but that got dull faster than a brass knob in a wind tunnel.

I think you might be right about the rest though, we thought we were funny, we lived in our own little world and it was all good.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I guess it's like composers who run out of ideas
And find that they can better inspire themselves by limiting themselves to a certain set of instruments or notes, much like having the restraint of the main question, to force us to tell interesting or entertaining stories.

Unfortunately I think this week might need a few more proper funnehs rather than just a compilation of diatribes about how terrible it is that chavs exist and have the gall to live near us.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:02, Reply)

More so than that
If I read another repost I think I might cry
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:03, Reply)

I must put my hand up and plead guilty to reposting quite a lot of late
I should stop. I just don't feel the inspiration coming as freely as it used to. Managed two originals so far this week, though. There just not as funny as I'd like. But that might be because the stories weren't that funny in the first place.

Ooh, someone's bought cake into the office. This will brighten up my presently bleak outlook.
(LongJohnBaldry, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:06, Reply)

Duncan Norvelle

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:55, Reply)

You're right
he's a massive cunt.

I get the feeling that you're actually Norvelle himself, and you're trying to re-ignite your career by posting about yourself online.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:56, Reply)

No. I'm Billy Pearce.
And seeing as my pathetic career was based mainly on impersonations of Duncan Norvelle, I need him to remain in the nation's consciousness.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

*googles*
Oh my god, I actually knew that one! Why are you living in the past Mr Pearce? Were the eighties the best years of your life?
Maybe now that there's alot of eighties revival in the pop charts and fashion industry you could strike while the iron is hot?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:01, Reply)

That's what I was hoping
I'm starting with OT then branching out.
Have you got Bobby Crush's number? I've lost it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:05, Reply)

Hmm
What a coincidence.

Since you've been back, it's gone shit. Who'd have thought it?

You jizz swigging cretin.
( Agnostic Antichrist Baltimora, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:38, Reply)

Cretin, great word
Main Entry: cre·tin·ism
Function: noun
Date: 1801

a usually congenital abnormal condition marked by physical stunting and mental retardation and caused by severe hypothyroidism
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:47, Reply)

My father used the term liberally throughout my childhood
I have to say I never realised quite how offensive it was and have been dishing it out all my life in place of, say, 'dimwit', or 'divvy'.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 2 Oct 2009, 16:49, Reply)

Two synapse cretin
is one of my favorite insults. I find it applies to many people.
( The Resident Loon Not a demographic. Do not measure., Fri 2 Oct 2009, 20:14, Reply)