I gave my brother a lift to work this morning
He works right next to the train station so I dropped him there. As I pull in there's a bunch of police waving me over, turns out there's an anti-terror exercise being conducted and they take my details and have a rummage through the car. Can't look in my bags though, reasonable cause and all that. I suppose technically I could have refused the search but the only terror weapon in the car was my gym shorts.

When was the last time you were picked up by the fuzz?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:21, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Picked up by the fuzz sounds a bit painful.
Badumtish!
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:22, Reply)

or getting swung round by the tits.

(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:49, Reply)

I keep my fuzz short so it's difficult to grip.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:23, Reply)

Good to know
Clearly a straight line won't be lonely for long round here.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:31, Reply)

I got stopped by the police walking home drunk, my friend had a drain pipe over his shoulder.
They hilariously sent us in the wrong direction home.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:32, Reply)

why do the police insist on telling you which way to go
Some friends and I were driving to get burgers in the middle of the night once, couldn't remember if you were allowed to drive down Exeter high street after a certain time, so we did anyway. Unfortunately a police car had turned down it before us. They pulled us over and mildly chastised us and asked where we were going. When told they explained how to get there. We all had to refrain from saying "we can see it from here"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:36, Reply)

We asked for directions,
we were drunk students in a strange town.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:37, Reply)

that would explain why then
umm...well done
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:40, Reply)

Where's Cawl today,
I need to tell him he's got shit taste in films.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:43, Reply)

did you watch zombieland and find it to be shit?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:48, Reply)

It wasn't shit,
it was ok, but it wasn't 8/10. Far too much comedy not enough horror.
The woman loved it though.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I'd thought it was going to be more comedy than horror
otherwise they wouldn't have put woody harrelson in it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:51, Reply)

He was actually good, probably the best thing in the film,
the cameo cawl banged on about wasn't that good either.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:52, Reply)

it's worth watching?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:04, Reply)

If you liked Shaun of the dead.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:06, Reply)

I did
so I shall watch it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:10, Reply)

Sounds like a recommendation to me

( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:13, Reply)

I got a fine for pissing in an alley
£40!
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:35, Reply)

I was 15 and was riding my bike with no hands
13 years ago. My one and only interaction with the police.
( Peej, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:40, Reply)

I got done for that
about the same age too. Have they got nothing better to do?
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:44, Reply)

When I was 15 me and my sister gave our local phone booth a birthday party.
We decorated it with tinsel and various bits and bobs and a policeman nearly booked us for vandalism. Cunt!
( girlinthehole, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Last New Years Eve
For pushing the mrs home in a Tesco shopping trolley.

The policeman laughed and made me wheel her to Tesco (which was on the way home anyway)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Fucking pigs.
Haven't they got anything better to do than pick on a man innocently pushing his wife home in a trolley!
( Peej, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:24, Reply)

I know!
And to top it all off, a bit further down the road (minus shopping trolley) MORE police stopped us from taking a shortcut round the back of the local gym due to a suspicious death (turned out some bloke ahd fallen over pissed!)
( SpikeyPickle wishes he was mabazaritchie, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 10:47, Reply)

Ukraine-Russia border crossing (Ukraine exit)
I had to bribe them with $5 hidden in my passport. It was all very exciting.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 9 Oct 2009, 11:20, Reply)

Poland to Germany 2 years ago...
5 km past the border we got pulled by the fuzz.
they were ever so polite and emptied the car of it's contents in about 3 minutes. they were looking for fags and currency.
obviously they found none.
however i had €30 of green in my boot so i was shitting myself a wee bit. i was also a wee bit stoned. which obviously helped! and my wife knew nothing about the weed.
they repacked the car and apologised for inconveniencing us.

no funnies, no giggles, all was cool.
i'm just glad they left the dog in the van!
or it could have all gone a bit wrong...
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Sat 10 Oct 2009, 0:36, Reply)