Don't know what she's congratulating you for
IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN ME
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:12, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I'll let you know the time and place
and you can do the whole wedding-stopping thing, rushing in at the last minute like a sexmonkey-crazed Dustin Hoffman.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:14, Reply)

That was my other idea!
Me, al, Kaol, Enzyme, Vipros and frankspencer all bursting into the chapel, wearing nothing but smashing cravats and screaming 'NNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO....!' like Vader at the end of that film
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:16, Reply)

that would be hot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Please wear the cravats around your waist.
I don't want my granny to die laughing.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Point her out to me
I'll give her a lapdance
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:20, Reply)

She's the hot old lady who isn't me.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:21, Reply)

Are you saying your Mum isn't hot?
Or is she dead?

Because they're not mutually exclusive, you know
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:22, Reply)

Aye, she's hot too.
Not dead, but definitely well-preserved.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:27, Reply)

Please may I have an orgy
with three generations of your family, auntie sandra?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Only if Catface gets to join in.
I'm totally digging the whole monogamy thing these days, man.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Alright, sod off
You and catface can go in one room, and your mum, your nan and I will have fun on the altar
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:33, Reply)

And that's pretty much how I anticpated my wedding, right there.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Ha!
Can your Dad join us? I want to spit roast your nana
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:35, Reply)

...dressed as the Hamburgler, stuffing Captain V into a sack slung over your shoulder
and escaping through the sewers.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:17, Reply)

Hahaha!
I worked a few shifts as a chef a little while ago, the clothes made me look like a cross between the hamburglar and a thunderbird
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:19, Reply)

Which Thunderbird?
I reckon I can see a faint resemblance to number 2.

Heheh, number 2.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:26, Reply)

Virgil?
He was the King of the Thunderbirds. Scott was a homo
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:28, Reply)

I really wish
that Dick Tracy had turned out to be a long-lost uncle.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 11:29, Reply)

Adds
Gladys Knight and The Pips - It Should Have Been Me to the reception playlist
(bill, Tue 27 Oct 2009, 18:33, Reply)