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(I helped save b3ta! rob, Sun 1 Apr 2001, 1:00)
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It's a good job I like my own company.
*whistles*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 13:59, 104 replies, latest was 16 years ago)
BGB: Managing Director of Boredom
Alright, you?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:00, Reply)
Alright sexy!
This place is deader than my love life.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:04, Reply)
I'm here now
I always goad the weirdos and mongs into posting, they're attracted by my musky scent
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:08, Reply)
At least we'll have this short time together before they all turn up : )

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:10, Reply)
Hold me

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:11, Reply)
With pleasure.
*holds*


*has a crafty grope*
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
*solves BGB's sex life crisis with one messy squirt of his magic schlong*

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Oh bert! if only it was something so simple that your magic schlong could fix.
I think I'm tainted goods now.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
That's the way I like 'em

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
I can't even flirt correctly now.
My mojo doesn't work.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:19, Reply)
I can fix that, all we need to do is attach my chest hair to your boobies

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Eh up!
I'm supposed to be working.
I just can't bring myself to do it.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:07, Reply)
Me neither.
There is nothing that I can't put off till tomorrow.

How are you roota my dear?
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:09, Reply)
I'm good all-in-all, Ms Beege
I have my dude coming to visit tomorrow, I've just been paid, the leaves are golden etc etc.

I just hate work at the mo. Boring spreadsheet stuff. I'm not very good on Excel. I shouldn't put it off. I should get awn with it.

How's yourself?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Meh!

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Meh indeed.

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Me too
Although I am doing random tasks like putting really really old paperwork into a variety of binders! Ooooooooh!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:12, Reply)
Colour-coding
Best of all the procrastinations
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:13, Reply)
Oh no
I'm doing it by file number! Ooooooooh double fancy!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
i likes ya style, Nembziz

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Boo-yah
I'm like well great innit blud! Brup brup
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:24, Reply)
Haha you know I'm shit at that!
Erm.. innit?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)
Iz u disres'pectin' me?
don't make me brup u up innit blud!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:38, Reply)
I thought brup was good?
I mean 'bad'. In a good way. Like phat. Or wicked.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:45, Reply)
No, brup means
I iz gonna shoot you innit, thats the noise a gun makes brup brup (or so I have been told by the hoodies in Leytonstone)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:55, Reply)
You
Are the wind beneath my wings
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:59, Reply)
*thinks of Beaches*
*cries*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:05, Reply)
I was doing crap like that this morning
it made me want to kick people's teeth in
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
I don't mind so much
It means I can't get into too much trouble, plus my brain isn't really working this afternoon thanks to too much pizza at lunch time.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
Yeah, it's not so bad I suppose
I got chatting to our receptionist again, and it turns out that we both worked with a guy infamous around these parts known as 'Big Gay Ray'
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
What a descriptive name!!
Kinda catchy too :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Very catchy
the bloke's a total man-slag, you'd be likely to get all sorts from him
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:23, Reply)
Are we talking candy
or STDs?

EDIT: Or both!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:24, Reply)
STDs
He was Sith Ifrican, I don't think they have candy down there
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:32, Reply)
Bums
I'm not interested in STDs, only candy.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:37, Reply)
I'm trying not to become ill again
feel all shitty at the moment. raspy breath and suchlike. at least the pain has gone away.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:14, Reply)
See, BGB?
One post from me and rooooota, FLim Flam and Vipros all turn up, I'm the Pied Piper of Internet Retards
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
Don't flatter yourself
I was on lunch bumface.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
my sentiments exactly

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
I'm going to ban you two from flirting in a minute
it's disgusting to watch
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
Haha
Like I said yesterday, you're just upset because Vipros won't return your calls... or touch your penis.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Knowing that he's looked at my cock
more than anybody else's in the whole world is more than enough for me
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Awww
it is love!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me
no more
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)
Hahaha
I used to have dance moves to that song when I was younger... good lord!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)
Show them to me
Dance little flim flam, dance like the wind
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)
*dances*
*jazz hands*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:43, Reply)
No nononono NO, Flim Flam, like this
*spins*
*jazz hands*
(breathy) YEAH!
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:47, Reply)
But...
...no star jumps!? :(
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:54, Reply)
NAKED STAR JUMPS

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Permission to recall an irrelevant ancedote?

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Permission granted

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:05, Reply)
We had a school attendance officer
He wasn't even a teacher. He was supposed to visit occasionally to check attendance. He started taking PE lessons and joining us on school trips. He was a perve and dead touchy-feely. He loved making us do star jumps. Cunt.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:08, Reply)
Oooooh freaky dude
How do they get these jobs, that's what I want to know! Madness!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:16, Reply)
Irrelevance FAIL
you mentioned star jumps, therefore it's relevant
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 16:00, Reply)
No
Spangly jumpsuit stylee star jumps
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:04, Reply)
no it isn't

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
Sorry
I meant sexy
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
damn straight

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Balls!
BGB is the queen of firing us all up.
There'll be saucy chat any second...
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
I'm trying to cut back on the filth.
Sorry!
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
Gerremaaaart

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
*flounces*

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
It's a gift.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:17, Reply)
I glad to hear that.
I've been worried sick about you.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:15, Reply)
I don't believe you

(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)
It's true.
I worry about all my internet buddies.

I'm auntie Blouse.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:18, Reply)
how sweet
:-)

I hate being ill. it's shit. particularly as I have band practice tonight, a smoking and pumpkin carving session tomorrow night, my party on saturday and surfing on sunday....

at this rate I won't be well for tar barrels next thursday either!
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:19, Reply)
You can't bloody smoke in that state

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
I know
that's why I need to not be ill.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:22, Reply)
Or not to smoke if you're still ill
You stupid mare
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:23, Reply)
I'm not planning to tonight
and should be better tomorrow, as it is just a cold, rather than something more sinister.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:28, Reply)
More sinister than a cold?
Like Venger?
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:31, Reply)
from dungeons and dragons the cartoon?
he is certainly more sinister than a cold.
(I helped save b3ta! Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:42, Reply)
The very fella
Sinister bastard in a maxi-coat.
(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:43, Reply)
You just reminded me
I was going to do a 'Dear Auntie Bertie' post, and solve all the internet's problems with my magic schlong and Toto, my blind, deaf and dumb Indonesian friend
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:20, Reply)
I feel fucking horrendous today.
If I don't work I don't get paid. No sick pay. This job is shit.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:19, Reply)
Come and work for me.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
Don't start that again
I was going to be your sex slave until your vigorous thrusting broke my jaw
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:22, Reply)
That wasn't a job offer.
That would have been a labour of love.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:23, Reply)
That would effectively make me a giggolo.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:26, Reply)
And your problem with that is?

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:27, Reply)
Oh, no problem.
I was only asking Facebook the other day if any rich ladies in the area needed someone to 'help around the house'.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Unfortunatley I'm not rich.
I was figuring on paying in kind.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:36, Reply)
It sounds a bit like giggle

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
It pays extra if he can make me laugh.

(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
During?

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
*drops trousers*

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:35, Reply)
Amen sista

(I helped save b3ta! Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
What are you doing?
Full time Mum?
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:21, Reply)
As it happens
I do that when I'm not at work.
(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:25, Reply)
Then how come you're not getting paid?

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:30, Reply)
Edited.

(I helped save b3ta! Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:33, Reply)
I see
but I wish I hadn't wasted all that time asking, you owe me five minutes
(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:39, Reply)
I'm avoiding work
I'm sitting in a sleeping bag and sniffing damp wood.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:40, Reply)
Fetishes is finished now hon.
It's crappy towns.
(I helped save b3ta! girlinthehole, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Typical
just as I get into it.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:42, Reply)
You bumpkins and your crazy ways

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:41, Reply)
Ooo-arrgh!

(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:43, Reply)
Get orf a my lahhhnd

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:46, Reply)
Get orf my sheeeeeep!
And into my rather natty 4x4 why don't you?
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:51, Reply)
Rather!

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 14:56, Reply)
Come here and sniff the damp wood
and then tell me how you'd love to be a little furry slug in a nice damp sleeping bag, go on, do it.

I can't see how anyone could fail to be turned on by that.
(I helped save b3ta! chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:00, Reply)
Those are the most disgusting euphemisms I've ever heard

(I helped save b3ta! Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 29 Oct 2009, 15:58, Reply)

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