Get some conkers
and that's not a euphemism - conkers are supposed to keep spiders away apparently.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:14, 2 replies, latest was 17 years ago)

Only when fresh...
...once your conkers are dried up they do not repel the 8 legged bastards.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

So it does work then?

( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:23, Reply)

Yes...
...but Daddylonglegs are not bothered at all.

Put a plate of conkers in a room and test it out; best way to stop spiders coming in is to get rid of cob-webs - the scent attracts more.

Are you impressed I avoided making a crap joke about having a bag of conkers you can get a hold of?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Molecular Biology of the Cell, 3rd Edition,
does the job pretty well.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:20, Reply)

That, and
Fundamentals of Computer Graphics, 2nd Edition.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:22, Reply)

And for the REALLY nasty ones,
a Swiffer.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:26, Reply)

I recently had 3 giant man-eating spiders with webs from my window boxes to my window.
I asked Catface to smash them to bits with a large piece of timber. "That might break the window!" he replied. And I nodded in agreement.

Flamethrowers. That's the answer.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:31, Reply)

I would certainly be happy to study the viability of burning spiders to death.
My fear is that the web would go first, dropping them out of the line of fire to safety.

I may have thought about this too much.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

I have one of those super dooper spider catcher plastic thingamajiggies.
Most of the time I accidently squash them with it when trying to get them inside.
( girlinthehole, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:33, Reply)

Try murdering them on purpose.
It's the safest way.
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:36, Reply)

Hairspray...
...really fucks them.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 13:39, Reply)

finally
a purpose for that damn book
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Fri 30 Oct 2009, 14:16, Reply)