Hey Liars. Internet supremo JMG here.
Whilst the fan club grows and the twitter gets loads of attention, I remain with my feet on the ground to impeccable standards in order to keep in touch with b3ta, and to a lesser extent QOTW.
In which ways would you say you happen to better the internet?

Come on. Show off.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:46, 72 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I better it by not using twitter

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

I didn't create Twitter.
So I'm confused as to why people on here might have an issue with it.
This is totally against b3ta logic.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

I have an issue with many things
I'm not sure any of them were created by, or are related to you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

You'd be surprised.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:56, Reply)

is there anywhere I can find a list of JMG accomplishments?
I'd like to compare my list of issues with it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Oh I wouldn't want to list JMG greatness.
People I don't recognise will get themselves worked up on here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

they do that anyway
don't they?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Let's not encourage the thrill-avoiders.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:06, Reply)

it 's shit(ter)

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

I will tell you but only if you agree with me.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

No promises.
People can disagree with JMG at the flick of a switch on here.
I can't guarantee I'll say all the correct words, given I need to reply.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Then I'll not bother.
I have a history of righteousness to uphold.
( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

You missed race hate and threats of real life violence yesterday

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

As I was nowhere near this, I can only assume loads of people got themselves VERY worked up indeed over absolutely nothing.
Fatties and the SERIOUS INTERNET USERS can run amok if I'm not here to keep the peace.

I also assume it was all my fault?
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

depends.
do you have a second login as a violent racist retard?

if yes, then yes. Yes it was your fault.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:57, Reply)

No, this guy was a shocking racist.
it was actually serious buisiness.
It's on badgers list.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:58, Reply)

It's a shame people have turned on Badger because he's popular.

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

the police were called JMG the police.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

*Head in hands*

( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:04, Reply)

here's a link
www.b3ta.com/talk/6526734

www.b3ta.com/talk/6526758
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:06, Reply)

badgers list is one of my favourite things on B3ta

It's the yang to the yin of QOTW
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I've recently seen its appeal
before I could take it or leave it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:10, Reply)

It's a best of worst of

There's nothing worse than mediocrity, something great can be good and something awful can be good.

Stuff in the middle is more of a waste of time.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:12, Reply)

this is true

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I think it's hilarious
I contributed one: 'Racist Colin Hunt' was mine.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:16, Reply)

mine's called King of Comedy
not sure it deserves to be on there, because while it's not funny, it's also not not funny in a funny way
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:19, Reply)

it was a coming together of b3tans
against an oppressive force of the most terrible racist I've ever encountered who was actually making real life threats.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I'm the Off Topic equivalent of JMG
in that despite my delusions of grandeur, everybody hates me and wishes I'd fuck off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Calm down.
Let's not get ahead of ourselves, here.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

that's not true
you don't have delusions of grandeur
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:32, Reply)

I can sense group unrest.
That'll be JMG's fault.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:34, Reply)

this is merely friendly banter JMG
nothing to see here
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:35, Reply)

It's a good job none of you take this all too seriously.
I don't even recognise a username on here these days.
( Jam Master Geordie Hero of B3ta., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:37, Reply)

due to no one wobbling at you?
I think you've managed to separate the wheat from the chaff so to speak
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

*WOBBLE*
Somebody had to, come on....
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

You're right
my grandeur is totally justified
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Surely that would be Vipros
With the smugness, you see.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:39, Reply)

are you trying to tell me you hate me and want me to fuck off?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:41, Reply)

I hate you
fuck off
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:51, Reply)

Now now children,
stop all the fussin’ and a fightin’
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:07, Reply)

who are you calling children?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:10, Reply)

You and Bert

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:14, Reply)

I know that
*sighs*

it was meant as more of a "hark who's talking" kind of thing
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:15, Reply)

I know what you meant
I was being facetious
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:21, Reply)

:-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:24, Reply)

*tuts*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:26, Reply)

The fact you had to explain that sort of proves your point.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:15, Reply)

That's what I was thinking

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:16, Reply)

It was more the image of JMG on a balcony munching a croissant
Than anything directed at you.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I'm riding some pirate pugs like some sort of hairy Odin
media1.break.com/dnet/media/2009/11/81%20Pirate%20Pugs.jpg
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

I hate pugs (sorry)
but that photo is pretty cool
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:48, Reply)

I want a pug
or a border terrier. Who gors? Yew deside.

0845 PUGPUGPUG
0845 TERRIERER
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 10:55, Reply)

Why?
They are awesome. as Winston Churchill once said:

"The pug is proof that God has a sense of humour."
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:16, Reply)

I find all small dogs offensive
I guess, thinking about it, pugs are less offensive, because they are slightly humorous. only slightly less offensive though
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:18, Reply)

Dogs should be dog shaped
Not resemble some kind of unholy tryst between a guinea pig and Susan Boyle.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:28, Reply)

*rapturous applause*

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:40, Reply)

Click it baby!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:53, Reply)

oh yeah!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:11, Reply)

I just don’t understand what small dogs want.
I feel like they have been brought to this planet for a reason, and if they could stop spontaneously shaking and eating peoples trouser legs they would tell us why they are here.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:28, Reply)

Small dogs seem to be generally yappy and aggressive and full of their own self importance.
Much like small men. Maybe there's a link?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:31, Reply)

Pugs aren't yappy though
they're just bumbling and gaspy.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:34, Reply)

Never really encountered a pug before.
But I think it's a bit cruel to deliberately breed a variety of dog that will have inherent breathing difficulties from the outset.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:39, Reply)

this goes a long way to redeeming them

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:44, Reply)

My parents have a german shep (he’s a working dog) and a little beagle.
The beagle has major issues with any dogs bigger than her, so lots, and its taken her about 4 months to stop randomly wandering up to the shep and head butting him.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:36, Reply)

Definitely suffering from 'small dog syndrome' then.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:38, Reply)

Exactly
Every now and then the shep will get fed up and put the beagles entire head in his mouth… I think just to prove that if he wanted to, he could destroy her.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:42, Reply)

this is all hilarious

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:45, Reply)

one day I will
catch it on camera, they’re a YouTube sensation in the making
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:48, Reply)

You could get it on "animals do the funniest things"

(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:51, Reply)

Does that show still exist!? Blimey!
They are quite entertaining, if I could make some money out of it, all the better! Mwahahaha!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Thu 5 Nov 2009, 11:54, Reply)

it's fucking dreadful
some vapid, fake-tanned american manchild spouting shit puns over shakey video footage of a dog on a skate board.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 12:09, Reply)

French Bulldog FTW cause they look like batman

animal-world.com/dogs/Non-Sporting-Dog-Breeds/images/FrenchBulldogWDN_Ap6D.jpg

I shall call him Claude.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:02, Reply)