I just flashed the postman
he brought me post, I showed him my left breast. Admittedly I had been feeding the ectoparasite, and forgot to put myself away - but the postman didn't know that.
Do you think this will encourage the postman to up his demands in the next strike action, or not strike, but knock on my door more often?
Have you exposed yourself to any members of the CWU recently?
( ascorbate, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:37, 26 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

hahaha
excellent
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:38, Reply)

I haven't flashed the CWU lately
but five people in a gynae clinic saw me getting an internal scan a couple of weeks ago. To their credit they pretended to watch the screen rather than my lady's undercarriage.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:43, Reply)

You're going to get a special delivery tomorrow
Right up you.

Similar thing happened to me when I was a 15 year old paperboy, I saw boobs for the first time ever. REAL boobs!
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:47, Reply)

on a man or woman?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Woman
but I'd have been happy either way
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:49, Reply)

if you saw boobs plural
then was she breastfeeding twins and forgot to put her bits away, or was she just flashing you for shits and giggles?
( ascorbate, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

She was coming down her stairs with her dressing gown open
it was a massive house with huge windows. I didn't mind that she was about 50, boobs are boobs
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

well I'm only 27
and mine are 'fabulous' according to the health visitor, so my postman was probably even happier than you. although he was ginger.
( ascorbate, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:58, Reply)

So he would have been extra happy about it
and extremely grateful, you've done the world a service. He'll be fwapping over you for weeks
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:00, Reply)

No but you've given me an idea.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Post yourself a bra recorded delivery, answer the door topless
and say 'Oh thank God, I've been waiting AGES'

EDIT and the next day post yourself a massive dildo, with similar dialogue
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:50, Reply)

I like this idea
but wouldn't it require the postie to open the package first to know what it is?
( ascorbate, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

You don't have to wrap things to post them
just stick a special Delivery sticker and an address on each cup
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

really?
is that how you post bras then?
( ascorbate, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

All day, every day

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

I'd answer the door naked
brandishing an erection with a first class stamp stuck to it, then wink and smile at him.
( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:20, Reply)

and say
'I'd like to put something in your letterbox for a change' and then wink
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:36, Reply)

That's too much winking
He'll think you've got Parkinson's.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Sexy Parkinsons.

( Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 5 Nov 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Nipple clamps were more what I was thinking.

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

You're a massive perv

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

Yup!

( girlinthehole, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Well, there's a surprise...

(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)

Wow, a lurker with Kaol's seal of approval
That has to make you the most lame thing on all of B3ta.

You ought to be proud
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:27, Reply)

Hahahaha!
Deeply proud! And you're clearly not looking that hard, now, are you?
(Deadly Octopus no deaths since, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:36, Reply)

I'm staring into the mirror as we speak

( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Thu 5 Nov 2009, 14:37, Reply)