Since we're here on lies of the week...who wants to play a game of two truths and a lie?
If you've not played it before, the idea is you say three things about yourself, two must be true and one must be a lie. Then people guess which one is the lie.

My three things are:
I don't like cherries
I've had more than 12 piercings
I was once suspended for breaking someone's jawbone
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:19, 58 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Meh, why not
So:

1) For years I owned more guitars than shoes.
2) I once punched someone when they accused me of cheating at 'What's the time, Mr Wolf?'
3) I live an interesting life.

Oh, and guessing the piercings is a lie.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:22, Reply)

Nope
I reckon it's that you live an interesting life
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:25, Reply)

Well, you're correct
The highlight of today was watching a man climb down a ladder holding a circular saw to see if he fell off. He didn't.

edits: Ok, then either you got suspended but for something else, or you broke someone's jaw but didn't get suspended.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:28, Reply)

I'll guess its the cherries one.
Mine:

1) I have HIV
2) I'm part Swedish
3) I have double-jointed elbows
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:29, Reply)

I reckon your lie is Swedish

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:31, Reply)

I totally saw a picture of her today
her elbows were doing anything strange.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:32, Reply)

The Enzyme facebook photos?
Totally going to have a look now
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:35, Reply)

You should
there's a great one of them all cowering as he showers them in hot jizz.
(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:36, Reply)

Haaaaaaa, that one's the best
surprise bukakke
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:41, Reply)

Beckyletters wins
I'm not Swedish in the slightest. I'm Italian.

And my elbows don't do strange things ALL the time.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:37, Reply)

Then they can't be proper double jointed elbows.

(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:39, Reply)

They only do it when I want them to.
Or when I'm not paying attention.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:40, Reply)

So you have voluntary and involuntary muscular action?
most peculiar
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:42, Reply)

Not really,
Its just that when I'm not paying attention, I don't realise how far back they're bending.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:45, Reply)

Here's mine
1) I work alone
2) I like to masturbate.
3) When I'm alone at work I like to masturbate
(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:35, Reply)

Well I'm guessing, just guessing though
That number 1 is a lie. No idea why I would think that.
(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:37, Reply)

I'm gonna go with three.
I bet you like to masturbate at work with people in the room too.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:39, Reply)

It's obviously 2
Why would Al enjoy wanking himself when he's got DiT to do it for him?
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:43, Reply)

AL TELLS NO LIES

( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:49, Reply)

what sort of cherries?

(PsychoChomp, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:36, Reply)

Popped ones.

( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:43, Reply)

Clendrix, why am I sober at quater to 10 on a Saturday?

(PsychoChomp, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:45, Reply)

Because you have no friends

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:46, Reply)

Drinking alone again becky?

(PsychoChomp, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:47, Reply)

Me? No. I'm keeping a clear head because I'm studying at the moment

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:49, Reply)

I don't know, darling.
I suspect it's because you've not had anything to drink.
Haven't you got a spare can of Special Brew lying around?
( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:48, Reply)

I havent drank special brew for years
I now go for JD as a means to an end.

Jack Daniels, "its like being vaccinated against giving a fuck!"
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:19, Reply)

Hmm...
I got told off by a policeman for fighting in King's Cross tube station.
I got my boobs out at Piccadilly Circus.
I have got two bum cracks.
( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:47, Reply)

hmmm indeed... I reckon it's bumcracks

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:50, Reply)

Nope.

( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:50, Reply)

There is no way you have ever had a fight in Kings Cross

(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:53, Reply)

I dunno, I've seen her get a bit feisty. I like her when she's feisty

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:55, Reply)

I did. I had a fight at Warren Street too.
But that was then. I am a lot nicer now.
I blame the Tube Mongs.
( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:57, Reply)

Oh that's right...
Blame it all on the mongs.
( wanderlust, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 21:59, Reply)

Ooh a lusty too :)
I almost had words with the shouty cunt on the tube tonight who stank of piss and vinegar, but by the time I noticed just how overpowering his stench was it was my stop anyway.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:01, Reply)

Give me piss soaked tramps anyday!
It's make a nice change from the smackheads we get round these parts.
( wanderlust, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:04, Reply)

True, they're usually more entertaining as well.
When are you coming back to Blighty lovely? I miss you :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:09, Reply)

I'll be back in March.
There will be a bash, of that I'm sure.

I'm missing my London b3ta types muchly!
( wanderlust, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:11, Reply)

Fucking MARCH
That's ages :(
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:13, Reply)

She's not coming back until I've been to visit her......
IN JANUARY!
( thealternativefact, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:12, Reply)

Smuggle her back in your suitcase please
Or take lots of inappropriate photos at least
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:14, Reply)

YEEEAAAAHHHHHHH
We're going to show these maple syrup munchers how to have a good time!
( wanderlust, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:16, Reply)

Are they all
"Aboot" the place?
(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:10, Reply)

Fucking snappy heads

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:13, Reply)

They tend to keep oot of the way most of the time.
Take a walk down Hastings St in Van if you want to see a few cracked up whores. I saw a woman injecting herself with smack sitting outside a corner shop...At 4 in the afternoon!

Isn't 4pm a little bit early for smack?
( wanderlust, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:15, Reply)

It's never too early for smack

(Bazongaloid, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:18, Reply)

I dunno, I used to get offered it on my way into college at around 8am
Unless it was the dregs from the night before. Always the same carrier bag man...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:18, Reply)

At least it's good to see people re-using carrier bags

(PenguinOfDeath is Scottish, and most likely angry, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:28, Reply)

sure , they cant fight back

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:18, Reply)

Okay
1) I can never return to the Dracula experience at Whitby
2) I am a northerner
3) I am a pipe smoking scientist
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:17, Reply)

You're a soft southerner

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:19, Reply)

Bingo!

( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:20, Reply)

there's got
to be a good story about the Dracula thing....
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 22:32, Reply)

yes
www.b3ta.com/questions/phobias/post139652
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sat 7 Nov 2009, 23:04, Reply)

1) I have a beak
2)I have a beak
3)I have a beak
( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 12:25, Reply)

i'm game
1) I once spent an enjoyable afternoon with Elijah Wood in a Luton Van singing 'hard fucking' by tenacious D
2) When I ran out of fuel in the sahara desert, I was rescued by a couple of locals delivering some toilets
3) as an eight year old, I danced for the then future emperor Akahito of Japan, dressed as a daffodil
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Sun 8 Nov 2009, 22:37, Reply)

Im Gamer
I'd say......two's the lie.

a - I was once deported from Turkey for defacing a national monument.
b - I was arrested and interviewed for the murder/rape of a local prositute
c - I was in the 2004 Britsh Olympic team for Table Tennis.
(McJuurgensHaircut is authorised and regulated by your mum., Mon 9 Nov 2009, 10:29, Reply)

3 was the lie
and for you, i guess 'a'
( mictoboy shitting in your cunt since, Mon 9 Nov 2009, 17:49, Reply)