Good morning, good morning, good morning to you.
It's a glorious day here in London at oh seven forty five, what's the oh for? Oh my god, it's too early ! No more five more minuites, it's a busy day, gotta make sucky sucky ten dorra to pay the man.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 7:47, 65 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

You can't say 'lesbians' any more.
It's 'women in comfortable shoes'.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 8:12, Reply)

or 'rug munchers'
That's what my mum said, anyway.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 8:39, Reply)

It amused me no end (fnar fnar)
when a Frenchman confirmed for me that "manger le tapis" ("to eat carpet") meant the same thing to the French.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:23, Reply)

That's superb
In other good news, my local Sainsbury's has Brewdog IPA at 50p a bottle. And for a 7.1% beer, it's not too Special Brew-ish in taste.

GO ALCOHOLISM!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:30, Reply)

Indeed
news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/health/8367141.stm
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:36, Reply)

So you die of liver disease instead of heart disease.
Hooray!
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:39, Reply)

But liver disease is more fun
because you get to choose, and you get to be pissed!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:39, Reply)

I want to die of old age.
Or death by cake.
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I'd love to feed you cake until you exploded.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Naked of course.

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

I'm always naked
I'm naked right now in fact.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:49, Reply)

And who wants to be
the healthiest person in the graveyard anyway?

*will probably run crying to the doctors at the first signs of liver cirrhosis anyway...*

Anyway, more the point: 50p a bottle? Where is this utopian incarnation of the popular supermarket chain and do I stand the slightest chance of getting to it before you buy up all their bottles and run away giggling like a flappy-haired, intoxicated schoolboy?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

I don't care what I die of as long as it's quick
I hate the idea of losing my marbles and being a dribbler in a home. I hate the thought even more of losing control of my speech and movement and being stuck in a home where people assume you're a dribbler but your actually perfectly sane.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

I would say I agree entirely
but then I do have a tendency to sit in a corner dribbling and losing control of my speech and movement after I've had a few too many...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:47, Reply)

couldn't agree more
live fats die yo gnu
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

Dye my gnu?
But I prefer his natural colouring...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:53, Reply)

I don't think Vipros is with it yet this morning : )

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:54, Reply)

But i've lost all this weight
so I won't live fats yo gnu?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:56, Reply)

GO DEAN!
Huthuthut!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:00, Reply)

Oh of course
I knew I'd seen that before.

Are you all packed and ready yet?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Nearly, nearly.
Just need to put things in things, and then things will be ready to go.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:42, Reply)

thank christ someone got it!
I'm actually slightly concerned that you and your wife are in fact me
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

there's a hospice between my office and the tube
I've seen enough nearly-dead old people to put off even the most hardened yoga-and-museli devotee.

I've got no pension anyway, so my rock'n'roll lifestyle is actually strategic.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:55, Reply)

You shouldn't think like that when you have kids.
Don't you want to see them grow up?
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

'Spose.
I am terrified of being an old and poor burden on my daughter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:05, Reply)

I'm sure she'd rather have you alive and a burden than dead before your time.

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:33, Reply)

It's the one next to my office
in swinging North Finchley. By Christ it's dull round here. Actually more accurately round here, 'by Yahweh'....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)

Damn it.
I'm in the wrong end of London. Just as well I was able to take advantage of what my local proudly calls "beer club" last night.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:57, Reply)

Sounds like you just broke the first rule of Beer Club.
Where are you based, then?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Well, I "work" in South Ken
but I recently moved down to Wombledon. There's a cracking Hop Back pub down the road and round a corner or two from Collier's Wood. We got there last Wednesday and came away from the bar thinking "that was a cheap round," then passed a tiny little blackboard in one corner that proudly announced "Beer Club: Wednesday 6-9pm all real ales only £2.20"

(Yes, all you northern types on here may scoff, but that's a positively utopian price for a pint of beer within the M25.)
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:06, Reply)

that's a great price fo' sho'
Maybe we should meet up sometime? Or would that much flappy hair in one place cause a rift in the space/time continuum?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

I don't think my local would ever have seen so much flappy hair in one place
That is, if you can stomach the journey down t'other end of t'northern line - you can guess where I'll be most Wednesdays. I do know some good boozers more centrally though.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Well I'm on the Northern Line every night
Normally I get off at Old St but I could stay on the train....
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:26, Reply)

Old Street?
So are you familiar with the Wenlock Arms?
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:40, Reply)

The Wetherspoon down my round does most of it's real ales for about £1.50
and I live in north london.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:09, Reply)

wetherspoons are all absurdly cheap
and it makes me wonder why we don't all drink in them, all of the time

sure the atmosphere or whatever might not be so good, but it's £2 cheaper per pint than everywhere else
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:11, Reply)

My local Wetherspoons does pints for £1.50
WITH FREE GUT ROT.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:43, Reply)

*high fives*
I got really stoned last night, and we played good music. It was excellent

I have tomorrow and monday off as well

*rejoices*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:37, Reply)

I drank half a box of red wine
and ended up playing high-octane blues on my guitar at cat-terrifying volume, with the occasional reefer break. My poor neighbours.

I've not had a line since last Friday, though. Pitifully this is the longest break I've had for months. Bad Monty.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

nice
sounds like a pleasant wednesday night
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

get a case
it's the only logical decision
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

I'm buying their entire stock this evening.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

Why wait
mornings are great times to buy booze, that lunch sorted! The Sainsbury's at my place always has great random offers on beer, but they never hang about...mostly i am presented with a pant wetting offer and an empty shelf. That's when i start throwing dogs off of bridges.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:50, Reply)

I drank so much wine last night
my lips are a bit purple. I look like one of these vampire gaylords that seem to be all the rage round here these days. No booze til evening for me today.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Who mentioned lesbians?
Pissing rain here today. All women should be wearing comfortable shoes on a day like this.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 8:30, Reply)

Comfortable shoes are full of win.
I often wonder if I had smaller feet if I would have batted for the other team at all.
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:00, Reply)

I like to mention lesbians.
It just adds that little something extra to my day.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:24, Reply)

So long as they're 'porn' lesbians
and not the normal type.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:28, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:31, Reply)

Well, normal lesbians
are just like normal anyone else.

It's like mentioning people who work in Tesco. It only brightens your day if it's a really fit Tesco employee who likes to strip off in the canned soup aisle.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:35, Reply)

We've got one of them in Stevenage

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:41, Reply)

A lesbian or a Tesco?

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

It's a lesbian tesco

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:43, Reply)

Tesco has it's own gay, lesbian, bi-sexual and trans-gender group.
I saw it on /links.
( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

i prefer the lesbian aldi
cheaper and dirtier.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:44, Reply)

the lesbain Kwiksave smells a bit funny

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:45, Reply)

The lesbian waitrose looks suspiciously like it's only doing it for the money.

(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:46, Reply)

The lesbian pound shop
is the filthiest of them all.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:51, Reply)

This isn't just a lesbian
its an M&S lesbian.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:59, Reply)

Strangely that has actually got me salivating.

( girlinthehole, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:00, Reply)

when you poke an M&S lesbian with a fork
all the goo inside gushes out in a slightly erotic fashion.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Middle-class totty
all incredibly well-dressed, in killer red heels.

Basted in red-wine gravy.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Clearly
your local Tesco is a bit more interesting than mine...
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:42, Reply)

No, yours has lesbians too.
All those late middle-age women in tabbards at the till?

Screaming dykes, every single one.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Thu 19 Nov 2009, 10:05, Reply)

I've got such a minging hangover

Why did I smoke so maany fags?! I'd forgotten how much worse they make you feel in the morning.

*is never drinking again* honest
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 19 Nov 2009, 9:48, Reply)