this is how
b3ta.com/questions/pe/post572651

Narwhals don't even rut FFS.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:25, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

I can't see that as I'm ignoring him
can you take a screen shot or something?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:31, Reply)

no
you filthy swine
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:36, Reply)

I love you

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:41, Reply)

it's hard not to

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:45, Reply)

True Dat

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:45, Reply)

*trigger fingers*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

This is the response from Spanky:
Seriously kids...
Having worked with children for a fair long while I can safely say I haven't come across this level of childishness before. Its fucking hilarious. Are you an adult? Fuck me, pal. Sorry if I've damaged your precious internet. No offense meant. But in all honesty if you're that concerned there's something missing in your life bigtime.

I can recommend a couple of things: One, go out and get laid. It might take some of that tension and aggression away. Two, put me on ignore. Simple, isn't it?

This is the one and only post I'll put on here in reply to this kind of spiteful, pittiful, snide bollocks. I'll tell you why - I've just used my ignore button. Just one click and you're sorted. I recommend you do the same too and try and chill out a bit. Get a hobby. Go out and get some fresh air.

Move along now, nothing to see here.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:38, Reply)

Hmmmm
nope, still seems like a cunt to me.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:40, Reply)

Definitely
The spamming twat.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:43, Reply)

He's got some good points.
Chill out and don't read him if you don't like him. Why some people get so worked up and foaming at the mouth over someone else's posts (which a lot of people think are really funny) is beyond me.

Get a life!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:43, Reply)

Why don't you fuck off
you contribute nothing but the sound of a moist tongue gently revolving in spanky hankys anus.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:45, Reply)

In your dreams,
go fuck yourself, it might be the best chance to get laid you ever get.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:46, Reply)

It's weird, you only seem to pop up to defend Spanky Hanky
and yet you have the audacity to suggest that we should get a life. Oh and nice comeback by the way, haven't heard anything that cutting since I was at school. Why don't you now boast about going home to make love to your wife?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

Al...
Why don't YOU boast about going to HIS home to make sweet lovin' with HIS wife?

Then you'd be a comedy legend like Spanky.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Sweet sweet love
down by the fire?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:50, Reply)

Just like me and your husband
I can't wait until he gets that fireplace swept, I'll be round there with a sheepskin rug and some logs before you can say "Big Fat Cocks"
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:52, Reply)

I can say 'big fat cocks'
pretty fast, better start your car!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:54, Reply)

Have you restocked your sweety jar?
I noticed it was looking a bit low.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

It a sad state of affairs
I intend to place a large order at A Quarter Of before Xmas! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:58, Reply)

we had this discussion recently when you complained that
a QOTW would encourage many liars etc to post and I argued with you in general about who cares if it lies, it's the internet.

As to why I seem to defend Spanky, it’s because your apparent virulent hatred seems to be confined to him as he is the one you always whine/complain/bitch about.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:56, Reply)

he's a figurehead
he posts a lot, and is quite conspicuous
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

quite
he posts the same crap sex story again and again. There was one chap who only posted star wars stories, but he would post one a week, or sometimes not even that. That was alright, some of them were very good and made the front page, but most didn't, so it didn't detract from everyone elses tales.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:07, Reply)

star wars guy might be mon bison
I really like his stuff. I particularly like when he is posting something real and I read through it expecting it to be about star wars or batman.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:09, Reply)

That's the one
I couldn't remember his name.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:10, Reply)

That's just it though
He's not funny. And he posts story after story where he's made out to be some kind of uber cool, ultra shagging LEGEND! That's what gets on peoples' tits.

Don't you find it rather telling that he used the narwhal simile? Somebody made a sound like one that doesn't exist. He lives in a poorly written, unfunny fantasy world and he's ruined the weekly digest of QOTW for me and many, many others.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:46, Reply)

So?
Is it really worth getting so upset about?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:47, Reply)

Not upset
So much as disappointed that he sees the need to fill his life shovelling shite on to the QOTW, week after fucking week. That and the fact he's got an army of sycophants lapping up every ill-conceived word he spews out.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

I guess I'm too stupid to be offended.
As for:” He lives in a poorly written, unfunny fantasy world and he's ruined the weekly digest of QOTW for me and many, many others." Even if that is true, how many other people on this board are the same? Wasn't that one of Althegeordie's complaints about a recent QOTW: that it would get nothing but people's fantasies? This is supposed to be fun. Who cares if someone is repetitious?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:50, Reply)

when it gets into the best of
knocking other, funnier, or true stories, from the list then it is
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

Its democracy
Its a vote. Get over it. Im going away now, this place is like kindergarden for the nasty kids.
(Podgirl, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:53, Reply)

We'll miss you and the huge contribution
you have made to this website. That story you posted? Fucking hilarious.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

How will I sleep at night having had some git on the internet
query my post looking for IT help? Dick. You said you're ignoring him so why dont you do just that? You sound like a five year old having a temper tantrum. And now I am off, so write what you like in response to this. Little kids always have to have the last word.
(Podgirl, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

There is this great thing on the internet called Google
which can direct you to many forums dedicated purely to the fixing of computers and computer related problems. They would be a great place to start looking for computer advice, not a comedy website dedicated to humour so close to the edge of acceptability it frequently falls over.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:01, Reply)

I love how superior you are

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:02, Reply)

*smugs*
Oooooh there’s a café down the road from my new flat called ‘Nice Croissant’… it made me laugh
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:04, Reply)

hahaha
ask them if they want endorsement
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Hehe I will, I will
You can munch on your croissant alfresco too… lah de dah
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:08, Reply)

nice
do they have a balcony?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:09, Reply)

Nope that would be ace
They have table and chairs outside! Oooooh
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:18, Reply)

or a beard

(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:08, Reply)

Mwahahaha

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)

What is your contribution other
than pissing and moaning all of the time?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:57, Reply)

Try clicking on al's profile
and reading his contributions, rather than smugly asking him what on earth he's done to warrant being here.

ZOMG MODS! GAZ THE MODS!
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I have.
There are some good stories but nothing that really stands out such that he is the Great Contributor to whom we should all bow down and sing our praises.

(He's funnier than my poor attempts but he not that much different from many other posters here).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:23, Reply)

*shrugs*
I don't really give a shit about his posts either way, I read them now and again, but I was just explaining the reasoning.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:55, Reply)

It is fairly
bizzare how much hatred he seems to engender from some people. Really strange.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:59, Reply)

people like to hate things
I intensely hate a lot of things, which pretty much don't affect me (U2 for example) and this leaves me free to be the positive and happy person I am generally considered to be.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:03, Reply)

I agree with you about U2.

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:19, Reply)

most people do
this is why I don't understand how they are still constantly proclaimed biggest/best band in the world
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Bono
has magical powers, its the only explanation.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:29, Reply)

magical powers of being a complete dick

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:32, Reply)

Damn
straight
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:35, Reply)

He has the magical power of
knowing the sound of one hand clapping.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:37, Reply)

The magical power of
Fellating music journos.
( The Light in Chains don't touch the Pope's boner, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:48, Reply)

mindbleach please

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:51, Reply)

Given the nature of this website
what is actually strange is the fawning sycophancy that he garners. Hatred is very par for the course. Look at me, you dislike me already. As for your earlier question, I spent a long time on the main QOTW board composing the odd poor pun and silly story, and engaging in lots of heated debates using the reply function.

I've won the question one week, I've been popular paged on a number of occasions, and as I've previously said, it's not that I have a problem with someone posting silly made up stories, my problem is that he posts the same silly made up story many times every week and because of him stories that are genuinely funny and far more in the spirit of QOTW don't make the popular page.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

It's not that I dislike or hate you
it's just that I don't understand how one person can seemingly make you so miserable and full of spite. (Plus I get sick of hearing about it from primarily you.)

People vote for what is most popular. He gets voted for a lot. I guess we are all a bunch of dumb fucks. Maybe this board is too lowbrow for you. I am sure there boards where higher levels of literature are the norm.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:14, Reply)

That should be...
'Lowbrow' and 'higher'.

You are right about the dumb fucks.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:22, Reply)

Some day I will
learn to type, read, spell, and proofread, but not this day.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:25, Reply)

As a percentage of what gets posted here
people pointing out that Spanky Hanky is shit, and in particular me pointing out that Spanky Hanky is shit, would make up less than a single digit. And yet on the only other occasion I can think of when I've actually posted about this, you popped up again to defend him as if I'd raped your baby.

I'm not the one demonstrating an obsession here.

And would you please read my reply before trying to be a condescending twat, it's backfired really badly here.

I already explained that I don't mind silly lies about sex, I'm equally guilty of that, it is the multiple stories every week all of which are poor quality jokes in an identical vein into which he squeezes lots of terrible similies and references to genitals. So that takes care of your attempt at a quick witted swipe of my desire "higher level of literature".

And as for "too low brow" have you seen my most voted for stories? Two of them are convoluted jokes about the kidnap and likely murder of a four year old child. One is a joke about masturbating on a radiator, one is a joke about masturbating in a supermarket and the other is a story about being dissapointed that a fictional schoolgirl wiped up semen with her sleeve rather than using a handkerchief. How much lower do you want me to go?

So from that point of view, yes you are aptly demonstrating what a "dumb fuck" you are. I don't know about the rest of the board, but I've always held to the adage, imagine how stupid and gullible the average person is, and then realise that 50% of them are even more stupid and gullible than that.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:24, Reply)

hey, that's my adage!
I had it first!
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:29, Reply)

You’re right; I’m aptly demonstrating that I’m
just a dumb fuck.

As to the one digit percentage of posts, many of them are yours. You have made you point and nothing changes. We seem to be on an endless mobius strip of complaints and responses from me. I’ll give up and bow to the obvious superiority of you and those others around me (and just be grateful that I am even allowed to read this board and occasionally allowed to post poor attempts at humor).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:34, Reply)

Are they?
Are they really? Are you sure you aren't confusing me with PsychoChomp who has also pointed this out? Or the other people who also find him tedious? Can you please show me where these endless posts are, other than the one I wrote earlier in this thread and the one I posted a few days back, only one post of which was actually complaining, as it rapidly went off on a complete tangent.

edit: Also, nice self deprecating reply, but seriously, if you actually have a valid comeback to what I just said, why not post it instead of implying that you're above all this, you started this argument after all.
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:41, Reply)

Naahh
You do it all the time, you... you...

THREAD DELETER!!!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:44, Reply)

ZOMG!LOLZ!!!!
You totally got me there.

*sadfaces hard*
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:45, Reply)

LOLLLLLLL
UR LIKE TOTALLY BUSTED SUCKA!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:47, Reply)

Sorry, I'm too
dumb to keep track of all of the posts and keep links ready. You are of course right about PsychoChomp, she has also posted much. Your posts just seem to stand out to me more (that and you often seem to respond anything I post about lightening up). I guess I am obsessed with you (and want sex with you).

Edit: I'm not trying to imply I'm above anyone, I just want to impress you so you will want to have sex with me).
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:46, Reply)

I have to agree with the merkin here.
There is loads of shit on here I can't stand but I just ignore it. It's not difficult to do.
( girlinthehole, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:48, Reply)

I admire your commitment
This is the third time, the THIRD TIME you've tried to get some attention to your run in with this poster on QOTW on off topic. Are you looking for validation for your pittiful attempt at internet bullying of a man who Im sure really doesn't give a fuck? Have you been fuming about this for a couple a days? Some of Spanky's are good, some aren't just like everyone else who posts. But I have to second his comment her. Go out n get laid and maybe you won't be so angry.
(Podgirl, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 13:51, Reply)

What's the obsession with sex?
I get plenty. I don't need to go out and get laid. Anyway, I thought you were fucking off to get your computer fixed.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:05, Reply)

Isn't 70%
of what is on the internet about sex?
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:11, Reply)

I was referring to
The insinuation that because I don't give a fuck about drawing attention to anybody's QOTW shitness, I somehow need to get laid. You said it about Al, PC problems girl said it about me, as did SpankyNonce. It's a very, very poor comeback that shows a distinct lack of imagination.

Rather apt, given the topic of discussion, no?
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:16, Reply)

I was as trying to be mildly humorous
and lighten up. Failed as ususal!
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:40, Reply)

HAHAHAHA
IF YOU HAVE A DIFFERENT OPINION TO ME THEN THAT MEANS YOU DON'T HAVE ANY SEX ANYWAY HOW DO I FIX MY COMPUTER I HAVE PERT FIRM BREASTS.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:13, Reply)

But you have different opinions to me
and given that I like to go upstairs and make love to your beautiful wife, you probably aren't getting any sex?
(Bazongaloid, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:14, Reply)

oh he is
*thrusts*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:15, Reply)

Ouch!
Nice croissant.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:16, Reply)

Jeez al, you really need to get laid with someone who's not my wife so we can have the same opinions ONLINE and then we could be as insipid and uninspired as some of the drongoes are around here.
Only with pert, firm breasts, obviously.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:16, Reply)

*wibbles breasts*

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:21, Reply)

Cor!

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Tue 24 Nov 2009, 14:31, Reply)