Fucking christ!
My upstairs neighbor just got taken out of her apartment in a body bag. Deaded as dead can be. She topped herself apparently!
I'm waiting for the police department to interview me (I don't know her!) for a statement.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:23, 71 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Bloody hell
that's a horrible end to Thanksgiving :(
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:36, Reply)

Holy Shit!
You didn't throw her at a window did you?
(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:43, Reply)

hahahaha
*I like this*
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:44, Reply)

NAUGHTY STEP.
NOW.

And whatever you do, don't point out that ANYONE in this thread or the neighbour had breasts.
( Lampito rise with the moon, go to bed with the sun, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:45, Reply)

Terrible waste of boobs

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:46, Reply)

She topped herself
'cos she was jealous of my boobs!

*tries to make joke but am actually a fucking wreck*
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:50, Reply)

Got any whisky?

( Maladicta, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:53, Reply)

Plenty of vodka.

( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:54, Reply)

And coke?
That'll do. Just need to settle your nerves.
( Maladicta, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:59, Reply)

That should NOT have made me laugh, but it did.
Just waiting now for the cops to interview me for a statement.
Deaded. Deaded deaded deaded.

I like this....not.
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:45, Reply)

If only she'd posted on here first.
She could have been saved.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:47, Reply)

From having KFC?

(Bazongaloid, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Nah, I heard she was a McD's girl

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Maybe she threw herself?

( Maladicta, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:52, Reply)

Oh man, if I didn't fall asleep I would have totally replied "I told you all that it just starts with the cats".

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:33, Reply)

Oh Boy!
You're like the horriblest person I ever met. I wish there was someway I could just ignore you...
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:38, Reply)

GONZ!!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:39, Reply)

Bloody hell
thats HORRIBLE. Sorry you have to go through that!
(Melody was not PMSing on, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 22:54, Reply)

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahahahahaha

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:05, Reply)

What? Not knowing her neighbour or having her Thanksgiving dinner interrupted by the police?
Maybe her neighbour didn't have much to be thankful for.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:08, Reply)

I'd top myself if I had to have turkey.
It's dry.
Mmm...pork. Now that's worth staying alive for. Unless you're the pig.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:10, Reply)

If you cook it right, the turkey can be awesome. Maybe she got sick of cooking turkey and decided to cook herself instead
Mmm...bacon
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:12, Reply)

Maybe she was thawing it in the bath like Adrian Mole's mum did
and a terrible slippage occurred.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Maybe she called the Butterball hotline and asked if she could cook it on the back shelf of her car to save leccy costs
but just found it was too much of a chore and killed herself instead.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:16, Reply)

*googles*
There is no Butterball Hotline :(
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Oh but there so is
www.snopes.com/holidays/thanksgiving/hotline.asp

MAYBE her cats ate her
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:20, Reply)

I am going to phone them and enquire as to the increased death levels on the west coast.

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:24, Reply)

^this
absolutely this. People must be aware of the dangers of turkey on the West coast.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:27, Reply)

There's a Benders Hotline

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:20, Reply)

ORLY
Googles and takes note
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:21, Reply)

Tel: +44 (0) 1978 855661

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:25, Reply)

I wonder how many calls they'll get tomorrow

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Adrian's mum <3

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:20, Reply)

I loved that bloody book.

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:25, Reply)

He was my first true love

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:26, Reply)

But he was spotty and gross and obsessed with newts
I did love them dearly though.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:30, Reply)

By the time the newts came, it was too late
I was captivated
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:35, Reply)

Unless you're the pig
( Batshitmentalist is sane for once, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:19, Reply)

Fuck all to be thankful for

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:12, Reply)

C'mon she's in the land of the free and the home of the brave
There's got to be something there to be thankful for!
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:14, Reply)

Freeeeedom! I'm talkin' bout freeeeedom!
Come on, sing along?
Remember that song McCartney did? Sometimes I think he's ok, then I remember that song.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:17, Reply)

I don't remember that song, but I remember Jet. Bad and wrong

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:18, Reply)

Also, Frog chorus
Fuck right off
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:21, Reply)

No, Frog Chorus is ok because it's on my 'taped off the telly' video from 1984
Festive period. It's a gem.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:24, Reply)

It's bad and wrong I tells you.

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:25, Reply)

No honestly
It's ok to like that one.
But not the hastily-written reactionary 9/11 bollocks called Freedom.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:27, Reply)

Oh Roots.
*gets you a body bag*
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:29, Reply)

Decorates it with pink and sparkles

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:29, Reply)

*fucks you both up with dead fists*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:32, Reply)

*clicks*

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:33, Reply)

I remember my brothers and I singing
'Bomb, bomb, bomb Libya' to it as a kid. Ahh memories...
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:29, Reply)

Awwwww, you're so mean
It's wrong to plant incendiary devices in ladies' foufous.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:34, Reply)

McCartney is never OK, the smug cunt.
Mull of Kinfuckingtyre?
What a load of old shit.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:20, Reply)

My nana loves him and they make me watch concerts on the telly
And it's like brainwashing, but then my mum comes in and says "Get that stupid auld twat off the telly" when she's had a few.
And I remember that Nana likes him because they look alike and she said she fancies him in his braces.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:22, Reply)

Your Nana looks like Paul McCuntney?

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:27, Reply)

A bit.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:28, Reply)

Nice.

( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:29, Reply)

She used to look like Alvin Stardust
But before that she looked like David Gest, and I've got proof, because she was on Granada Reports in 1984 and we taped it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:33, Reply)

*Cough*
Board sig.

Live and Let Die was the best Bond theme ever though
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:38, Reply)

LIES!
A View to a Kill
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:39, Reply)

Decent theme
Shite film.

And Live and Let Die still pisses all over it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:40, Reply)

Most of 'em are shite, but I love 'em.
Sean Connery wasn't very good, either.
( thealternativefact, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:42, Reply)

I do love a Bond flick though
Even the shite ones are watchable.

And Dalton was underrated IMO. Licence to Kill was great.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:43, Reply)

yes!
Dalton was a nasty bastard, how Bond is supposed to be
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:57, Reply)

The Voodoo, who-do-what-you-dont-dare-do People

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:43, Reply)

TWEEDLE-EEEEEE... DINK!
TWEEDLE-EEEEEE... DUNKLE-A.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:46, Reply)

Nana's mouth's not like THAT!!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:40, Reply)

PUT BBC NEWS ON!
The most evil man ever is talking.
He's nearly as evil as a Cain Toad
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:42, Reply)

WHAT?
AL'S ON THE BBC?
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:44, Reply)

Please look
He's hypnotising the BBC and demanding aeroplanes
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 26 Nov 2009, 23:45, Reply)

To quote my Gran
"Yep, she woke up in the morning and she was dead"

Eh?
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Fri 27 Nov 2009, 8:48, Reply)