A would gatecrash a cheese and wine party
at Alex James's farm.
I would OD on cheese.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:56, 3 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Was it BGB...
...who has already had a mouthful of his cheese?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:00, Reply)

becky I think.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Right you are,,,,
..sorry BGB.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Yeah it was Becky
One day I will force her to tell me all the details. But she'd better not tell me anything bad about him. I will plug my ears. She probably knocked the universe all out of shape by doing him, because I was totally going to marry him. And now he's married someone else.
I really can't believe the one time I met him he was with his lady.
Mind you, I was with mine at the time.

EDIT: I am happy for Alex and his wife and am genuinely over him. I just want cheese and conversation. His children's pet rabbits are safe.
*escapes from hospital ward*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

That post makes you sound like a mental.
Thought you should know.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:28, Reply)

I think it's perfectly normal
Do you want to see where I carved his name into my knee using a rusty compass?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I would, really I would,
but I'm busy at the moment I'm afraid.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

No looooookkk
It was going to be a tattoo but I ran out of Mr Freezes.
It is Mr Freeze bubblegum flavour for home-tattoos, yes?
Should I scratch it more or buy a better compass?
Would you like to sing a song with me?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:34, Reply)

busy busy busy

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

You're not
You're just sitting at your puter. I can see you.
Turn round!!!
Why are you ignoring me?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:40, Reply)

What are you lot talking about?
/Brushes back fringe. Lights fag. Plays bassline to Parklife.

/offers cheese and wiggles eyebrows.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

God I love cheese
Vacherin Mont D'or, in particular. And Gorgonzola Piccante.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Fontina....
...does it for me.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I had some of that Vacherin the other week
Boy, was I glad
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Gjetost
FTW.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:18, Reply)

I played a gig in Norway once
and we had some cracking food inc a generous cheese board. I may have eaten it without knowing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:25, Reply)

my relationship with cheese is weird
I can happily eat cream cheese, can just about force down cheddar and the like (but would rather not), can't stand the stinky stuff. however, if you melt it, even just a bit, I could consume it like a black hole.

I've happily gorged on fondue and stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I remember you saying this before
and was most suprised that a bon viveur such as yourself was not a 'cheese man'. The temperature at which it's eaten and the size of the sliver you eat can both make a hell of a difference. A slightly-too-big lump of too-cold cheese can be fucking horrible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

In the years that I was a soap bar smoker
I could happily eat a whole block of the blandest, coldest, shittest cheddar when stoned.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Shit cheese
is still better than no cheese, I grant you.

When one is stoned this is infinitely truer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Skunk and Stilton.
A heavenly combination.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I don't smmoke any more
But I never liked that skunk.
I liked the shitty rocky.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:42, Reply)

that stuff barely does anything
other than give you the munchies and a cough

skunk is what it is about
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Yes and no, I'd say.
Sometimes you don't want or need the 'lead helmet*' effect of skunk - when roaring drunk for example. I'm a 'selection box' kind of chap, different flavours for different requirements. The Dutch follow this approach with 'daytime' and 'night time' smokes.


*pffft. Helmet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

this is a good point
5 pints down on friday night, and a rapid succession of skunk spliffs fucked me right up

have an awful dilemma coming up. my main dealer is emigrating, and there is no one anywhere near as reliable to take over at the moment...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

When I thought my main cocaine chappie
was about to go away for arson, I was bereft. Luckily (or not, perhaps) for me he beat the rap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I think I might have to turn dealer
just so I have enough for myself...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

No that just made me sleep
I'm best away from the lot of it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

it is one of my peculiarities
most of my family love it, except one brother, who is much the same as me, although he will consume more when unmelted and I could eat it forever if melted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:49, Reply)

No no no
Alex James has to be the most punchable "rockstar" going. Shameless lifestyle journalist, schelebrity bassist-for-hire with all manner of shitcunts who want some attention, oh-so-rustic fucking hobby-farmer, famously mates with Keith Allen and Damien Hirst, better at swishing his fucking £120 haircut than playing the bass. Grade A cunt.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

He's boss at the bass
And he's not a cunt anymore.
*la la la la*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

LEMMY is boss at the bass.
John Entwistle was incredible too.

That spacker from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is fucking crap. He sounds like that mong-faced fellow from Level 42. Not good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:55, Reply)

I'd like to add John Paul Jones
he's fucking brilliant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

what was I thinking?
Seconded in a BIG WAY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

hugely under appreciated as well
I often forget to tune into the bass when listening to zeppelin. and the drums for that matter. Such an incredible rhythm section.

I like dave grohl's drumming a lot too (post Nirvana, can't remember what he was like on there), hence Them Crooked Vultures pushing all the right buttons.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Bootsy.
Don't forget Bootsy.

Or Jah Wobble for that matter.

Otherwise agree about JPJ being under rated and Flea being a cunt.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:16, Reply)

I can NEVER forget Bootsy.
What a fucking don.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

man
I need to get more parliament funkadelic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

do you have Maggot Brain?
Not literally of course, you seem a bright chap.

One of the most incredible albums by anyone, ever. Eddie Hazell does some mindblowing stuff on the guitar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

I have that song, and that is the only one
it's awesome. spent many an enjoyable 15 minutes smoking a reefer while listening to that in the dark.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)

Super Stupid off the same record
is even better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:34, Reply)

then I shall get that album forthwith!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:35, Reply)

I look forward to your appraisal

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:56, Reply)

Bad Leutenant
Take a great band (New Order), remove one of the greatest bassists going (Peter Hook), replace with celebrity cheesecunt Alex James, and voila! The sound of Maroon 5 trying to make themselves cool by nicking Byrds riffs.

Sorry, he's probably perfectly nice in person. But he's always got my hackles up, and I fucking hate cheese.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Great turn of phrase there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

'famously mates with Keith Allen and Damien Hirst'
the most shocking indictment there is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

How about...
"Jordan's ex..."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

bad, but not as bad as being mates with Hirst and Allen
Failing to hate Keith Allen with every sinew and atom in your body is a crime against God himself and should result in eternal damnation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)