Know any famous people?
After hearing about this I cringe, I actually know Michaele Salahi, not personally, but I know her enough to know she is a crazy bitch. She has given me copious amounts of her wine, which is total shit.

Alternatively, if you were to crash a celeb's bash, who would you pick?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:47, 113 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Playboy mansion
no contest.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:50, Reply)

acquaintance of mine went to the halloween party a few years ago
he was in heaven
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:51, Reply)

NEAR THE TOP!
that man looks like some kind of shark spliced mutant
(likeajackhammer, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:42, Reply)

What man?

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:59, Reply)

I'm assuming Tareq Salahi

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:03, Reply)

I've never thought of you as the bimbo type.

( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:33, Reply)

now, now
I'm sure they have lovely personalities.
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Is "personality" a euphemism
for "pert, large breast"?
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:41, Reply)

yes
I've seen "Girls of the Playboy Mansion". they are all complete morons. most of them aren't even pretty
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:42, Reply)

I like the twins

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:52, Reply)

you wouldn't be a man if you didn't
mmm, twins.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I went out with a twin once,
when I say went out with, I played kiss chase with her and hung around at the park with her for a bit when I was about 9.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:00, Reply)

damn, that's hot

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:07, Reply)

I know the Chemical Brothers
They're quite famous, aren't they? I've many more acquaintences who are.

Weirdest was probably getting stoned out of my mind with The House Doctor.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 14:53, Reply)

Seriously?
You got wasted with Ann Maurice? She doesn't look the type.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:15, Reply)

She's a right fucking laugh actually

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:17, Reply)

She does have a certain glint in her eye mindye,
like she has been up fucking all night.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:20, Reply)

I would crash David Bowie's bash
He would learn to regret this happening. That's all I'm prepared to say at this point.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:07, Reply)

go on, tell us more

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:09, Reply)

Keep an eye on the news
I don't want to jeopardise my plans by saying more

*taps nose*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:11, Reply)

*nods*

( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:21, Reply)

What?
Should I follow you to the toilets?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:21, Reply)

By all means
we can have a fat line, then you can watch me Stanley-knifing Bowie's priceless art collection.

I'VE ALREADY SAID TOO MUCH
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:28, Reply)

By all means, go ahead and destroy wonderful works of art because of your hatred of the man's music.
Can't you just wee in his pint.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:31, Reply)

you have no idea how a man's mind works do you?

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:32, Reply)

Why do you think I'm single.

( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:34, Reply)

If you knew...
...what went on in a man's head you'd be a lesbian.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Tried it and felt I wasn't being degraded enough.

( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Would it have helped...
..if she was drunk and farted?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:41, Reply)

No but perhaps telling me and the world how wonderful I was and then dumping me would have worked.

( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:48, Reply)

Erm...
...I am not sure if I should offer you a hug or degrade you.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:53, Reply)

Sokay : )
I just lay on the bitterness for affect.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:55, Reply)

No problem
I was just pretending to care to get in your pants.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:02, Reply)

you need to understand a man's need for proper, completely out of proportion revenge

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:35, Reply)

I want to BREAK HIS SPIRIT
He looks like he'd probably enjoy a bit of piss in his pint, the rotter.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:37, Reply)

Very Clockwork Orange!
Can I pour lemon in his eyes for whilst singing The Laughing Gnome?

Or if you fancy a Helter-Skelter style ride we can find out where Bono lives and make a weekend of it.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:33, Reply)

I'll join you for that leg
I've got a selection of different sized hammers with his name on them
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Like your thinking
No-one's ever managed to top Charlie Manson...UNTIL NOW.

*rents movie ranch*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Manson was a lightweight.

We are going for the platinum A-list of musical asshole-ism never mind celeb wives and Mexican housekeepers.

And I can sing better than him.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

So can my nan.
EDIT sorry, thought we were back on Bowie again. My nan's nowhere near as good at singing as Charlie Manson.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:40, Reply)

Bring her...
...she can drive the getaway car and be our very own 'Squeeky Fromme'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:42, Reply)

this is going to be GREAT
In time, the world will thank us for what we have done.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:43, Reply)

One thing...
...no swastika tattoos. We are not animals.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:47, Reply)

Freedom fighters, please

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:58, Reply)

on the subject of manson
you can follow him on twitter and ask him questions and shit. he posts from prison. www.twitter.com/heltershelter. we live in weird times.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:19, Reply)

My cousen's cousen is Racheal Stevens.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:22, Reply)

ohmygoshohmygosh I loooooooooove Rachel Stevens
have you met her? smiled at her? touched her hair?
( Lisette von Falcon, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:26, Reply)

I've also meet Bret Hall and Wayne Gretski..

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:36, Reply)

The great one!
I used to know Ray Bourque if you dig that kind of thing.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:45, Reply)

Cool.
Most british players know of my dad.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:52, Reply)

I always wanted to say this...
Who's yer daddy?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:59, Reply)

That guy who goes biking across the world with Euan McGregor.
He's lovely and chunky and looks like he'd be a laugh.
( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:29, Reply)

I know someone who has met him
and he is a dick
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:32, Reply)

: (

( girlinthehole, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:34, Reply)

sorry

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:34, Reply)

Michael Caine (dont know him but would like to gatecrash his party)
I would much rather have myself photographed shaking Michael Caines hand than Barack Obama. He seems like a nice bloke and probably wouldnt mind too much if I gatecrashed, especially if i brought a nice bottle of plonk.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:35, Reply)

Vaguely know the Brian Jonestown Massacre
Through going to their gigs over the years. The last time I walked into a pub near the venue and one of the guitarists rushed accross shouting my name, leaving other fans looking envious. A previous time I got shown a rolling technique that the other guitarist had apparently learned from Kevin Shields. They're nice guys, a lot nicer than the film Dig! would suggest.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:37, Reply)

I've met Kevin Shields a couple of times
He's odd, to say the least. Nice enough, but a bit fucking weird.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:39, Reply)

Never really got MBV
A bit overrated IMO, apart from as make-out music, where they do very well. Never fancied going to those gigs recently where people had to wear ear-plugs - what's the appeal of doing in your ear drums even more than with the average gig? Kevin Shields has got to be some kind of weirdo.

Great music to get it on to, though.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Never got them either
I think they were shit.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Dig Rules.
"You fucking broke my sitar, motherfucker!"
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:44, Reply)

It is hilarious
Though hard to watch now I've met some of the cast. Joel has put on weight and works in a record shop, and isn't quite so "zany" in real life. Anton just looked worn-out the last time I saw him - a bit of a sorry sight. Word is drinking a litre of vodka a day was killing him so now he's teetotal. The guitarists are lovely guys; they go out of their way to mock the "musical revolution" thing touted in the movie, and talk about their crazy leader in rather less than reverential tones. When you find out one of your heroes was doing a lot better when prescribed anti-psychotics, the image kinda loses its shine.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:58, Reply)

Wow
Is Joel back with them?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:01, Reply)

He's been touring with them as of 2007
And has his own band (forget the name) who are pretty fun in a very reductive 60s garage-rock way. Stupidly missed them when they toured the UK last year.

Well worth seeing the BJM. For all their haphazard history they put on an awesome show - they know what they are doing and are excellent musicians.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:11, Reply)

A would gatecrash a cheese and wine party
at Alex James's farm.
I would OD on cheese.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 15:56, Reply)

Was it BGB...
...who has already had a mouthful of his cheese?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:00, Reply)

becky I think.

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:01, Reply)

Right you are,,,,
..sorry BGB.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:03, Reply)

Yeah it was Becky
One day I will force her to tell me all the details. But she'd better not tell me anything bad about him. I will plug my ears. She probably knocked the universe all out of shape by doing him, because I was totally going to marry him. And now he's married someone else.
I really can't believe the one time I met him he was with his lady.
Mind you, I was with mine at the time.

EDIT: I am happy for Alex and his wife and am genuinely over him. I just want cheese and conversation. His children's pet rabbits are safe.
*escapes from hospital ward*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

That post makes you sound like a mental.
Thought you should know.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:28, Reply)

I think it's perfectly normal
Do you want to see where I carved his name into my knee using a rusty compass?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

I would, really I would,
but I'm busy at the moment I'm afraid.
(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

No looooookkk
It was going to be a tattoo but I ran out of Mr Freezes.
It is Mr Freeze bubblegum flavour for home-tattoos, yes?
Should I scratch it more or buy a better compass?
Would you like to sing a song with me?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:34, Reply)

busy busy busy

(PsychoChomp, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:37, Reply)

You're not
You're just sitting at your puter. I can see you.
Turn round!!!
Why are you ignoring me?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:40, Reply)

What are you lot talking about?
/Brushes back fringe. Lights fag. Plays bassline to Parklife.

/offers cheese and wiggles eyebrows.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:20, Reply)

God I love cheese
Vacherin Mont D'or, in particular. And Gorgonzola Piccante.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:02, Reply)

Fontina....
...does it for me.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:05, Reply)

I had some of that Vacherin the other week
Boy, was I glad
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:10, Reply)

Gjetost
FTW.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:18, Reply)

I played a gig in Norway once
and we had some cracking food inc a generous cheese board. I may have eaten it without knowing.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:25, Reply)

my relationship with cheese is weird
I can happily eat cream cheese, can just about force down cheddar and the like (but would rather not), can't stand the stinky stuff. however, if you melt it, even just a bit, I could consume it like a black hole.

I've happily gorged on fondue and stuff
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:27, Reply)

I remember you saying this before
and was most suprised that a bon viveur such as yourself was not a 'cheese man'. The temperature at which it's eaten and the size of the sliver you eat can both make a hell of a difference. A slightly-too-big lump of too-cold cheese can be fucking horrible.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:31, Reply)

In the years that I was a soap bar smoker
I could happily eat a whole block of the blandest, coldest, shittest cheddar when stoned.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:33, Reply)

Shit cheese
is still better than no cheese, I grant you.

When one is stoned this is infinitely truer.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:36, Reply)

Skunk and Stilton.
A heavenly combination.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:41, Reply)

I don't smmoke any more
But I never liked that skunk.
I liked the shitty rocky.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:42, Reply)

that stuff barely does anything
other than give you the munchies and a cough

skunk is what it is about
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:48, Reply)

Yes and no, I'd say.
Sometimes you don't want or need the 'lead helmet*' effect of skunk - when roaring drunk for example. I'm a 'selection box' kind of chap, different flavours for different requirements. The Dutch follow this approach with 'daytime' and 'night time' smokes.


*pffft. Helmet.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

this is a good point
5 pints down on friday night, and a rapid succession of skunk spliffs fucked me right up

have an awful dilemma coming up. my main dealer is emigrating, and there is no one anywhere near as reliable to take over at the moment...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

When I thought my main cocaine chappie
was about to go away for arson, I was bereft. Luckily (or not, perhaps) for me he beat the rap.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

I think I might have to turn dealer
just so I have enough for myself...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:01, Reply)

No that just made me sleep
I'm best away from the lot of it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:52, Reply)

it is one of my peculiarities
most of my family love it, except one brother, who is much the same as me, although he will consume more when unmelted and I could eat it forever if melted.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:49, Reply)

No no no
Alex James has to be the most punchable "rockstar" going. Shameless lifestyle journalist, schelebrity bassist-for-hire with all manner of shitcunts who want some attention, oh-so-rustic fucking hobby-farmer, famously mates with Keith Allen and Damien Hirst, better at swishing his fucking £120 haircut than playing the bass. Grade A cunt.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:53, Reply)

He's boss at the bass
And he's not a cunt anymore.
*la la la la*
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

LEMMY is boss at the bass.
John Entwistle was incredible too.

That spacker from the Red Hot Chili Peppers is fucking crap. He sounds like that mong-faced fellow from Level 42. Not good.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:55, Reply)

I'd like to add John Paul Jones
he's fucking brilliant
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:58, Reply)

what was I thinking?
Seconded in a BIG WAY.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:59, Reply)

hugely under appreciated as well
I often forget to tune into the bass when listening to zeppelin. and the drums for that matter. Such an incredible rhythm section.

I like dave grohl's drumming a lot too (post Nirvana, can't remember what he was like on there), hence Them Crooked Vultures pushing all the right buttons.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

Bootsy.
Don't forget Bootsy.

Or Jah Wobble for that matter.

Otherwise agree about JPJ being under rated and Flea being a cunt.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:16, Reply)

I can NEVER forget Bootsy.
What a fucking don.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

man
I need to get more parliament funkadelic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)

do you have Maggot Brain?
Not literally of course, you seem a bright chap.

One of the most incredible albums by anyone, ever. Eddie Hazell does some mindblowing stuff on the guitar.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:29, Reply)

I have that song, and that is the only one
it's awesome. spent many an enjoyable 15 minutes smoking a reefer while listening to that in the dark.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:32, Reply)

Super Stupid off the same record
is even better.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:34, Reply)

then I shall get that album forthwith!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:35, Reply)

I look forward to your appraisal

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:56, Reply)

Bad Leutenant
Take a great band (New Order), remove one of the greatest bassists going (Peter Hook), replace with celebrity cheesecunt Alex James, and voila! The sound of Maroon 5 trying to make themselves cool by nicking Byrds riffs.

Sorry, he's probably perfectly nice in person. But he's always got my hackles up, and I fucking hate cheese.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:57, Reply)

Great turn of phrase there

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:02, Reply)

'famously mates with Keith Allen and Damien Hirst'
the most shocking indictment there is.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 16:54, Reply)

How about...
"Jordan's ex..."
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:17, Reply)

bad, but not as bad as being mates with Hirst and Allen
Failing to hate Keith Allen with every sinew and atom in your body is a crime against God himself and should result in eternal damnation.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 17:21, Reply)