word up bitches
Should I attempt to make the Kaodrix birthday bash or should I stay at home by myself drinking?

Alternatively discuss how people are fucking stupid when let behind the wheel of a car I SWEAR TO GOD IF ONE OF YOU FUCKING CUNTS PULLS OUT IN FRONT OF ME AGAIN WHEN I AM DOING 60 I WILL FOLLOW YOU HOME, KILL YOUR DOG AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:45, 36 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

stay home
it's for the best

they are cunts aren't they? drivers that is.

my mrs witnessed a crash from up close the other day. some dick in a massive 4x4 had been undertaking and weaving through a couple of lanes of traffic down to the industrial estate where she works. She stops in the right-hand lane at a roundabout behind two cars and sees this dickhead swerve into the left and beast it into the roundabout without being able to see anything and ploughs straight into the side of some poor girl's Ford Focus, spinning it 360 degrees.

she had to resist the urge to stop, get out and shout at the twat.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:48, Reply)

She should have got out
and beat the guy in his face with her shoe.

I always recommend keeping a steel toed boot in the car for this purpose
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:50, Reply)

she's a structural engineer
so often has steel toed boots in the car

I'll pass that on
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:02, Reply)

You can eat my dog if you like?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:48, Reply)

/al edit
eat suck, dog cock
(Poppet some assembly required., Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:53, Reply)

Zing!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:55, Reply)

I was about twentieth
in a line behind someone doing 35mph on a main A road this morning. I thought it was a lorry at first, so fair enough, but when I discovered it was a car I was most displeased.

If you don't feel confident driving any faster than that, then take the fucking bus!

*simmers*
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:50, Reply)

If there was more than a fag paper thickness between the cars. What's to moan about?
I see you have a new car, so are probably a bit precious about it at the moment.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:52, Reply)

I'm not precious about it at all
I just get really annoyed when people pull out of a side road onto a 60mph country road as some may say it is slightly dangerous.

You sound like you are the kind of person who does that and then wonders why people HATE YOU
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:54, Reply)

No, I'm the kind of person who like winding people up
In fact, I totaly agree with you, but that would have been boring.

Now calm down and run the fuckers off the road into a ditch.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:59, Reply)

I'm not going so don't bother.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I have to miss the bash *sadface*
so therefore no one else should go or be happy or anything like that. I am not well, plus there's all that OMGSNOW that will disrupt all transport east of Swindon at the first sign of a snowflake.

Re: KILL YOUR DOG AND EAT YOUR CHILDREN. I was watching that RSPCA Big Christmas Feed appeal on TV last night, where they ask you for £3 to feet a cat or dog, and I was thinking, why not just feed the cats to the dog? Or feed the hungry animals to even more hungry Ethiopians? If I can't have a dog as a pet I don't see why anyone else should be happy, etc.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 9:58, Reply)

I think you get more value for money if you donate to the NSPCC instead
They only want £2 a month to help an actual human child! Not £3 to save a fucking stupid animal!

When it comes to charity I stop a nothing
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:01, Reply)

animals are more worthy of saving than children
I feel nothing for NSPCC adverts, but show me one for the Blue Cross or RSPCA and I'll be blubbing like a colossal sissy-girl (may be a slight exaggeration)
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:52, Reply)

I don't think anyone should go.
Everyone should come and visit me instead.


I live opposite a park that we can build snowmen in and I have posh biscuits.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:01, Reply)

Mmmm... Posh biscuits
Nom Nom Nom!
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:02, Reply)

Not just any posh biscuits.
Marks and Spencers posh biscuits.
( girlinthehole, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:05, Reply)

So they're not just any posh biscuits

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:06, Reply)

that's what she said

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:10, Reply)

I was sort of parodying the M&S advert

(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:16, Reply)

I know
but BGB had already said not just any posh biscuits
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:17, Reply)

Oh yea
silly me *smacks forhead*
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:20, Reply)

Mate, there's no ham in them.
You won't like 'em.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:06, Reply)

Will this punnage ever end!?
I'm gonna have to change my b3ta name to WetHamMan aren't I?
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:08, Reply)

no point
that's how everyone reads it anyway
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:11, Reply)

It will never end.
Even when you are lying cold in your grave, I will sneak into the graveyard at night with a chisel and amend your gravestone to read 'here lies Wet Ham Man'. If I die before you (let's face it it's more than possible) I will fucking haunt you like a kind of pisstaking Ben Kenobi.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:14, Reply)

I'd quite like that
as long as you didn't turn up when I was on the job.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:16, Reply)

I'd appear at the end of your bed and criticise your technique
saying people did it better in the 60s.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:21, Reply)

you going to say things like
"your mrs needs a bigger bush!"?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:28, Reply)

Precisely.
Whilst singing the hits of Tractor.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:42, Reply)

sounds good
I can just imagine it...

Mrs V: "why is a blue translucent Charles II standing at the end of the bed? and why is he whooping and singing?"

Me: "there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for that, which I will divulge once we have finished up here"
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:51, Reply)

"I'm afraid it's pretty much my fault love.
I told this bloke on the internet that I'd quite like it. I regret that now."
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 11:07, Reply)

I dunno
I'm quite likely to cause my own death through my own risk taking and stupidity
(wehttamman via B3ta for microwave, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:19, Reply)

Just take small bites.
The ham will keep - they're good like that.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 10:20, Reply)

I'm doing a 12 hour shift on saturday....
... I'll be in charge of about 30 drivers, wow, I'll be the boss.

And afterwars, if I'm up for it, I'll go to the bash. I'm hoping to score big time with all the hot chicks.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)

I'm not sure what to get Clindrix for her birthday.
I might book in an appoitment with Vedal, he's always good at helping me decide.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Thu 17 Dec 2009, 12:15, Reply)