Hmmm... starting at 5
-2 overweight: I'd intended to lose 10 to 15 kilos in 2010; two weeks in, I've actually put weight on.
-1 messy
-1 lazy
-1 ugly
-2 failed to get into university. I have the rejection letter framed on the wall at home, just above my monitor. This means that I only have to look up to be reminded of schoolfail.
-2 in debt
-1 pedantic
-1 shy
-2 bookish


Probably ought to stop now. This isn't looking great. I'm on -7 already, and I'm only just warming up...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:02, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

-7
You could win QI with that score though.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

That isn't necessarily a good thing.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:04, Reply)

Tall
Smart
Modest
Funny
Lovely eyes

That's plus five already
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I'm not that tall - I reckon I'm about average
I can't see my eyes, so can't comment. You're probably wrong, though. None too smart; modest only in a Uriah Heap kind of a way; funny-ish-on-a-good-day isn't the same as funny.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Pfft!
Come and join me in my year of being positive.
( girlinthehole, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:12, Reply)

From reading what you say on here
you're not exactly thick!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I am quite good at sounding as though I know what I'm talking about.
Maybe I'll give myself +2 for that.


Most of it's sound and fury, signifying nothing.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Sound and fury
We have a better expression for that in Scotland:

Full of wind and pish. :-)
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:22, Reply)

That's precisely where MacBeth lacks realism.
Had the King said "wind an' pish" instead of "sound and fury", it'd've been an entirely accurate reconstruction of mediaeval Scottish politics.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Hmm
Messenger
Gracious my lord,
I should report that which I say I saw,
But know not how to do it.

Macbeth
FFS, min. Oot wi' it!

Messenger
As I did stand my watch upon the hill,
I look'd toward Birnam, and anon, methought,
The wood began to move.

Macbeth
Away an' shite!
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:30, Reply)

With editing like this...
Shakespeare's shortest play could soon be like a Fast Show sketch...
First witch: Crown?
Second witch: Ooh, sir, suit you, sir...
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

*phones Royal Shakespeare Company*

( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:35, Reply)

*profits*
*gets sued by Reduced Shakespeare Company*
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:40, Reply)

5ft 9in
in the average height of a man in the UK. My height, and I'm a girl. With breasts. You're a lot taller.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Not all that much taller.
10 cms ain't much.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

you forgot
-200 for being fucking obsessed with your weight when you have absolutely no reason to be.

Negativity IS unattractive. Why don't you find at least 3 nice things to say about yourself? No point in other people doing it for you, I've discovered. Or get CBT.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:30, Reply)

You have to admit, though -
if I was back under 60 kilos I'd look AWESOME.
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:32, Reply)

FFS, I'm 65 kilos and my BMI is 21.
If you were 60 kilos you'd have a BMI of about 17. A BMI of 18.5 is underweight. A BMI of 18.5-24.9 is normal.

So no, you wouldn't look awesome. You'd look like shit.
Get help.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 14:36, Reply)

!!!P*O*W*E*R*S*L*A*M!!!

(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Thu 14 Jan 2010, 15:07, Reply)