I'm bored silly today coupled with a slight frisson of excitment.
And today's question is....

What floats your boat?
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:18, 70 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

A displacement of water volume
greater than the weight of the cargo
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Thread complete

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Thank you.
My thesis on seafaring is now complete.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:21, Reply)

You are
all kinds of awesome Grammar Badger.

note the complete and purposeful absense of (!)s
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

volume is not quantifiable in the same terms as weight
I think you meant to write mass instead.
(Fancy a weekend on my Raymondo Luxury Yacht?, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 20:24, Reply)

How am I meant to answer that question?

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Oh yeah, I remember... sarcasticly.
"I like attractive women under 40."
(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:20, Reply)

It's just a shame they don't like you.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:22, Reply)

My post was comedy genius, put more effort in your replies.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:23, Reply)

It took all the effort I had to bother to reply.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Maybe you should take a vitamin supplement.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I think it's because you suck all the enjoyment out of my posting.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Like Henry the hoover's evil cousin

he started out as a friendly happy champy, but spo many many men put their penises into his sucker tube something snapped and his heart was turned to darkness...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:35, Reply)

If you're not going to tell us why you're excited, you can sod off right
I'm fed up with you leading me down the garden path
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Yes but it's fun when we skip and dance along there.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:24, Reply)

*tra-la-lahs*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

THREADJACK
I've just noticed that I've been fannying around on here for 6 years and two days.

Fucking hell!
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:24, Reply)

Your fanny must be worn out.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

You have no idea.
It's so distended it looks like a malformed cock.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

That IS your malformed cock.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:34, Reply)

Ah. As you were.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:35, Reply)

my B3taday is different to my First Post Day
It is coming up to a year. it was my Nana's birthday and I turned up in the middle of a fight.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Was your Nana fighting again?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:29, Reply)

I enjoy using the infomation availible to me on peoples CVs
to hack their email accounts and look at midnight tits
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:25, Reply)

In my head I am now singing 'Midnight Titshots'
to the tune of 'Crazy Horses' by The Osmonds.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Growing plants from seed
I still get a kick out of seedlings poking out through the soil. Gonna grow sweetcorn again this year, home grown corn on the cob was a real "OMG" moment for me last year.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I can supply sweetcorn in ready to plant "sausages"

Give me your address and I'll pop a couple in the post tomorrow morning.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Well, I dont normally give out personal details on the internet
but anyone who is prepared to post me their shit cant be a weirdo:

Colonel Dracula
The Big Castle On The Hill
Somerset
BS32 1AD
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:31, Reply)

*crimps*

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:33, Reply)

Is it wrong that i'm actually wondering if this would work?
It is, isnt it?

Most wrong
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Actually I wondered as well...
Can you grow corn from a simple corn kernal, especially if it's been through my guts where it will have been mixed with meat, gin, tangerines and red wine
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:39, Reply)

The corn seeds are just the kernals
as long as you didnt chew them too much it might work.

A few years back, I remember a newsletter where a B3tard was going to eat tomatoes for a week and shit in his garden to see if he could grow tomato plants that way.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:43, Reply)

Women in fishnet stockings squidging chocolate catapilla cake between their toes.
I fucking love that shit, all squidgy and stuff.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:27, Reply)

You durh-ee bah-sturd

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I like the way the fondount face breaks up between the 3rd and 4th toes on the left foot.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:43, Reply)

In answer to Roota's question of my excitment.
I'm going to someone's birthday party at the weekend. Although she's a B3tan, her friends aren't. I'm quite looking forward to meeting new people who aren't off the internet.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Ooh ace!
I have avoided meeting new people, or even my old people, this January, but I think I'm ready. I was very friendly two two new people who I've generally been ambivalent towards until now. I hope they appreciated it and walked home happy.

I was also ambivalent to somebody I had previously humoured. I hope he rememberes when he sobers up.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Get out there and mingle.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:42, Reply)

I'm getting there
Doing my quiz helped. I slapped on a grin and actually enjoyed it. I made a lad stand on my Naughty Mat for 15 minutes.

We'll be mingling soon enough. Like a pair of auld bats at a bus stop!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

It just so happens there's a lovely bus stop opposite the pub near my home.
We can hang around there and nip over the road for a port and lemon.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:49, Reply)

Bloody love port and lemon
Is it a covered bus shelter?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:50, Reply)

Haha!
It is.
( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I accept

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:54, Reply)

It's Ok, I wouldn't TOTALLY HAVE LOVED to be invited anyway.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:41, Reply)

smells mostly
I found a new perfume I want called aromadisiac, smells like sex on a stick *shudders*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Brittney or Paris Hilton?

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:40, Reply)

how extremely cocky of you....it's not by either of them, it's made by avon.

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:45, Reply)

The bad guy from "Blakes 7"?

( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)

your mum's the bad guy from "Blakes 7"

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:53, Reply)

I had better warn her about the last episode then
it all goes a bit "Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid" for the crew
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:00, Reply)

you make sure you do that
*pats head*
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:04, Reply)

What about my mothers head?
(her name is Pat!)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:07, Reply)

You're on excellent form today, old boy

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Why thank you old bean
I put my success down to tv and a complete lack of social interaction
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:58, Reply)

here smell my sex stick

*proffers*
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:40, Reply)

It smells of desperation and garlic.

( girlinthehole, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:44, Reply)

The garlic is to keep nyphomaniacal vampires at bay

it's becoming a real problem in west London...
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Strange
all I smell is poo and childrens tears
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:08, Reply)

Raindrops on roses...

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:46, Reply)

Fringes.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 14:49, Reply)

I recall drunkenly clicking
on I Like This when you joined some Emo fringe fan group.

I *may* have hair straightners for my stupid, girly fringe
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:07, Reply)

Wait though...
aren't you meant to be too good for OT?
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:12, Reply)

Yeah you did.
As did my fringe-sporting ex. I laughed at you both :D

Nah, I was only accused of being too good for you lot, so I came back. You can blame psychochomp for that one.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:15, Reply)

Laughed? At me?
*flounces*
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:17, Reply)

In a nice way.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:22, Reply)

*returns*
*PANDAs*
*PANDAs hard*
( djtrialprice, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:23, Reply)

Fringes are very important on me
but not so on men.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I used to have a half decent fringe
Not anymore. I can barely see through it. This grow a ponytail bet is starting to grate.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:55, Reply)

Shurrup Ringo

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 15:58, Reply)

Dangerously close to getting the barnet chopped
I've lasted eight months though so I'll do my best to stick it out, despite looking a bigger twat than usual. I'm at the horrible middle stage of growing it.
(Barry from Eastenders is, despite the words written above, not a woman, Tue 19 Jan 2010, 16:21, Reply)