Don't worry,
they were evidently 'asking for it', you probably done them a favour to be honest.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:49, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Yeah! I know I'd rather be murdered than have sex with Monty.

( girlinthehole, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:51, Reply)

ZING!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:52, Reply)

That's what they said.
AND PEOPLE WONDER WHY I'VE A SICKENING VENDETTA AGAINST SOCIETY?

Just because I was raised as a girl by hillbillies near Devizes. I never had a normal start in life.

WHY WON'T ANYONE LOVE ME?

*kills birds and cats*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Devizes?
Dear god, it's worse than we thought...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 9:58, Reply)

I know.
I can count the number of normal people I know on one hand.

Yes, six people.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:00, Reply)

*chortle*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:05, Reply)

Altogether now...
"Oh, your mother is your sister is your aunt,
Yes your mother is your sister is your aunt..."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:07, Reply)

Uncle Dad!

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:00, Reply)

Grandpa Dad

(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 12:11, Reply)

ah, Devizes.
My old stomping ground. Until I got banned from Wiltshire.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:19, Reply)

My brother's head office is down there.
He had to live there whilst he was training for his job, and got to know some of the inbreds from the office, including one chap, who had a cut-out tabloid headline taped to the side of his monitor that read 'TUG-MASTER'. It transpired that not only were the entire staff compulsive onanists - they talked about little else.

Most days he would be greeted with 'Oi mush! Oi've gat s'm roight good paaarnos' - they could not believe that he didn't spend every night wanking himself unconscious as they did.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:29, Reply)

So how does that differ from OT?
(Other than griddle pans?)
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:58, Reply)

They save their wanking for the evenings in Devizes.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Yeah, right.
You swore you would never murder whores. Of course you did.
(Spleep Shit, or get off the internet., Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:01, Reply)

I swore I'd never do it again.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:03, Reply)

Well, technically,
he generally pumps them full of his own special embalming fluid once they have been despatched. This way he doesn't have to pay them, clever eh!
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:04, Reply)

I'm just beating the credit crunch in my own special way.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:09, Reply)

Get that fired into Money Saving Expert
I'm sure the subscribers would love to hear about your frugal necrophillia top tips.
(Cancer Joy was short lived, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:14, Reply)

Martin Lewis is a cunt
Enough said.
( Duke Of Belmsford has got 99 records, but Jay-Z ain't one, Tue 26 Jan 2010, 10:32, Reply)