I'm new
Is this like Twitter for people with brains?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:32, 116 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

We do have brains but tend to leave them by the door when entering.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:33, Reply)

The same could be said for my balls.

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:14, Reply)

No, it's much shitter than that.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Still you keep coming back.
Why is that?
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:34, Reply)

Another wonderful comeback totally disproving my argument.

(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:37, Reply)

I wasn't trying to disprove anything.
It was just a question.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:38, Reply)

Just because it has a question mark doesn't mean it's a question.
It was a highly original and totally unexpected attempt at defending offtopic against anyone who ever critisises it.
(PsychoChomp, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:43, Reply)

OK then.
If you think off topic is crap then why keep coming back? I don't want to argue and I respect your opinion. I'm just curious. Honest!

I don't like /talk so I never go there to join in even though there are B3tans there that I like. I just wondered why you come here and I'm fine with you being here.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Your logic scared him off
*bows*
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:57, Reply)

Nah! he'll be back soon to dismiss me in his high and mighty way.
I don't think he likes old people.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:09, Reply)

Define "old"
Have no idea how old anyone is here but already feel like I have codger potential
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:25, Reply)

Nearly 45.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:27, Reply)

Alright, you win
But that's still not old, is it. Bruce Forsyth's old. And, by my estimation, immortal. Stick that in your pipe and smoke it
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:30, Reply)

Because secretly he loves us all
He just can't stay away!
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:02, Reply)

No, he just can't keep up on Talk.
It's much slower and kinder here. A veritable hug-fest.
(MichaelS wasn't picked again, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:07, Reply)

Nah
I'm pretty sure its the love. He Buzzed about it the other day... he loves OT, nearly as much as he loves Buzz
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:11, Reply)

BRAINSsssssssss

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:36, Reply)

So, in short, it's where B3tards come to abuse each other
I'm going to like it here
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:39, Reply)

you should visit talk

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:42, Reply)

Come on everyone! let's all do some PRESS UPS!
*presses 'up' on keyboard*

huff huff huff man, that was hardcore, my pecs man....of god, umm, my pecs, yeah oh god yeah my pe.....my pe.............

where are your pecs again?
( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Near your bum I think.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:42, Reply)

ah cool, spank poo.

( Donkey Gums @mattcomedy, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:16, Reply)

I know where pecs are supposed to be
Where mine are, I've no idea
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:44, Reply)

Fuck off back to QOTW.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:50, Reply)

You wanted me here
And I think we all know why
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:53, Reply)

*bums*

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:53, Reply)

A lot of that going on here I notice
DisGUSTing
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:57, Reply)

It's a standard response when QOTWers visit /talk
and used to feature in rob's blurb at the top of this page. Welcome. You'll not leave with your ring intact.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:05, Reply)

While I'm sure bumming occurs everywhere
I was referring to the 'fuck off'.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:07, Reply)

I totally did think
you meant the bumming
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I may have had something to do with this
possibly.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:59, Reply)

*bends over*
There's room. Jump in
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 13:59, Reply)

s'alright thanks
I'll just stand here and eat this cookie.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:04, Reply)

*straightens up, pulls pants back on*
There are cookies?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:05, Reply)

Only in my hand
Mwahaha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I was about to intimate that I'd stolen it
But then I realised that would quickly bring about a game of King of the Hill, and no-one wants that
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:17, Reply)

who needs cookies?
i got me butter cake :)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:18, Reply)

A cake made entirely of butter?
I’ll stick with my cookies thanks! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:25, Reply)

A cake made entirely of butter
could surely be otherwise referred to as "butter"?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:28, Reply)

actually
(and rather disappointingly) its only 11% butter.

It's essentially a moist sponge cake
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Welcome, new person
Basically this is a small haven in which the most erudite members of B3ta gather to mull over interesting questions and wrestle with the key issues of the day, e.g., cake, whether to quit one's job, kittens, real ale, music, gridle pans and widespread bumming.

We sit at our computer terminals looking deep in concentration, tweaking our moustaches and smoking our pipes. Don't be initimidated; we're a friendly enough bunch, but the key thing to remember is that I am the most important person on this board. Honest.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:20, Reply)

*nods head*
All of this is fact.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I'm glad you concur
*stokes pipe*
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I'm realising I should
a) update my profile

and

b) read people's profiles before inviting them to bum me

Sorry.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:36, Reply)

In all fairness the nick does imply a degree of... supremacy
And thank you for the welcome. I enjoy dancing, football, beer and talking utter bobbins. That is all
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:27, Reply)

I see
How do you like to dance?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Badly
And in more or less any discipline you can think of. Most notably Ballroom. Also Ballet, Hip-Hop, Salsa, Ceroc and massively inept Breakdancing. The last one really is a work in progress
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:35, Reply)

You're doing better than me.
My policy is "If in doubt: Charleston."
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Charleston rules
Doing it right, with actually teaching, is incredibly difficult

Doing it wrong is BRILLIANT
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:39, Reply)

I once held a charleston summer party

it involved charleston music, cricket jumpers, pimms, cucumber sandwiches, tennis, croquet and dope as we were all out of opium.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:41, Reply)

THis sounds ace.

( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:43, Reply)

It was
It was also held on a Royal Navy base, so there was DANGER
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:43, Reply)

supremacy maybe
but he is only a crow, and therefore not quite as superior as the rest of us humans
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:32, Reply)

"Only a crow"
Honestly, some people...

You laugh now, you human-types, but I would direct you to this article. Today it's just small tools, but tomorrow...who knows, or dares to dream?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:40, Reply)

ha
not much use if it's water though, throwing the bucket all over the place.

crows - one rung above pigeons on the useless ladder :)
(bamboozled Can hear you getting fatter, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:00, Reply)

*ruffles feathers*
*shakes wing*
Insolent apes! Your time will come!
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:10, Reply)

There was a dream that was OT
You could only whisper it. Anything more than a whisper and it would vanish... it was so fragile. And I fear that it will not survive the winter.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Quick, someone start a thread about punching disabled kids!

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Hiya newbie!
I'm Roota.
I don't work on a deli counter and I don't love getting bummed.
I used to have a brain but I lost it in 1997.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:35, Reply)

Stay back!

this is a trap so she can bum you with german salami and feta cheese!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Hi Roota!
I'm Foxy. This is not my opinion of myself, but a nickname I'm trying to populate which is honestly, genuinely, short for Foxtrot. You seem nice. This pleases me :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Oh god it's too late

You may as well spread them yourself, saves her getting the slim jim!
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:39, Reply)

Shuttup Ape,
Although it's nice you have me as the bummer not the bummee, it shows you have respect for me.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:42, Reply)

It's only gay if you push back

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:43, Reply)

It's only gay if your bollox clang together.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:54, Reply)

I'm so lovely it will make you vomit.
Do you remember when Asda Smartprice used to have a little fox on there? I miss those times. Now people look at me like I'm mad when I say "You should have just bought Foxyface lemo."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:41, Reply)

Yes
I do remember this

Does that make me old?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:44, Reply)

I could put money on me being older.
So don't worry about it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:45, Reply)

I dunno y'know
I'm older than I look

Which is of no help to you whatsoever
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:51, Reply)

I look exactly my age.

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:53, Reply)

Also of no help :-)
I'm going to go with between 23 and 37

Just because
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Halfway

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:58, Reply)

halfway Sum.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:13, Reply)

you cheeky get!
I'm toidy-two
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:20, Reply)

And I am 29*
*only half true.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:24, Reply)

You're 59?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:30, Reply)

Oooh, so close.
I am the oldiest of B3tans.
You may pay your respects in the usual way.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:33, Reply)

*hands over the tv remote and the V-pillow*

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Thank you nurse.

( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:37, Reply)

... you're drawn to prime numbers?
Or square rootas?
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:10, Reply)

Hahahaha
Oh dear, oh dear
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:13, Reply)

Stop laughing missy!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I don't remember this.
But then I've had copious amounts of drugs in my past and you haven't.

God, there is so much I can't remember.
( girlinthehole, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:45, Reply)

Don't worry
I have the Polaroids...
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:49, Reply)

There's a great cream for that.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:03, Reply)

Ooh, I'm a martyr to my Belindas

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:09, Reply)

I bloody have
Unless you're in the police or something
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:51, Reply)

FLIM-FLAM!
You still here?
I wanna ask you bout yer teeshiiirt.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 14:47, Reply)

*waves*
I'm back! I was learning things, had to go away, now I'm here again! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:14, Reply)

Tell me about your teeeshirt!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:21, Reply)

I'll do one better than tell you about it...
I'll show you...

www.truffleshuffle.co.uk/store/were-all-mad-here-ladies-alice-in-wonderland-tshirt-from-junk-food-p-3029.html

Huzah! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:28, Reply)

OH MY!
That is the mutt's nuts!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:31, Reply)

I’ve been waiting for it to come into stock again for yonks,
I was on a waiting list for crying out loud! Haha
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:34, Reply)

But today it is yours :)

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:36, Reply)

Wahoo!
It is indeedy! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:42, Reply)

Apologies for silence
Was on lunch break and therefore away from 'pooter. Fabulous T-shirt FFtM. May I call you FFtM? So much harder to say and type than Flim-Flam, you see
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:09, Reply)

No worries
The tee is totally faberoo, I intend to wear it around the house tonight with a jolly big grin on my face!

You can call me whatever, most people just type flim. I'll answer to most things.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:13, Reply)

Hi Leonard how you doin?

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:17, Reply)

Good thanks Stanley
Hows tricks?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:18, Reply)

I'm guessing "jugs" will be unpopular
so I'll avoid that. Jugs is one of my favourite words at the minute, and I have no idea why. Last week it was trousers. That's a recurring fave. Love the Izzard in your sig by the way
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:19, Reply)

Trousers is an awesome word, as it megalomania, roulette, hopscotch, puddle and zap.
Also Eddie Izzard is the bees-knees and he seems to be back on form of late, this pleases me greatly.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:27, Reply)

Don't forget pants, shitehawk, bobbins and boulderholder
Haven't seen Stripped yet. Can you confirm awesomeness?
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:28, Reply)

Good words!
I can indeed confirm awesomeness. Its no Glorious, but its rather funny. A vast improvement on Sexie.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:33, Reply)

That is exactly what I wanted to hear
and helps confirm my theory regarding Eddie's transvestitism. The more manly the clothes, the funnier the stand-up. Glorious - suit. Sexie - dress. Opposite ends of the funny scale. Dress to Kill is hard to explain though.
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:34, Reply)

Hehe good theory there!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:58, Reply)

This is all getting a bit squished
Can't help but wonder how far we can push it

As it were
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:01, Reply)

The page will take it but it makes my eyes go all weird!
*boggles*
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:15, Reply)

Yeah, this is weirding me out a bit
Remind me start a provocative argument with someone on off-topic when I've been out on the sauce one night
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:16, Reply)

Will do
That's sort of a reoccurring occurrence around here! :D
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:20, Reply)

Look down there

(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Darth ! You've gone bi!
Welcome to the monkey house.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:08, Reply)

We are chimpanzees if you please… bah dum dum dum,
we are chimpanzees in you don’t please… bah dum dum dum.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 15:15, Reply)

I like the "gone" bit
Implies a certain masculinity about me prior to today. Or a colossal, overwhelming gayness. Either way thank you for the greetings :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 16:08, Reply)

Right that's quite enough of that nonsense
My brain hurts. Quickly, say something sensible
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:25, Reply)

Hahaha fair enough
Right, I'm oftski as it is home time!

Nice talking to you and I'm glad to help convert you into an OffTopic poster!

Toodles :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:30, Reply)

Nice talking to you too!
Thank you for making me feel welcome :-)
(Darth Foxtrot A one-man army dedicated to making fetch happen, Tue 16 Feb 2010, 17:40, Reply)