Beannacht Lá Fhéile Pádraig
I'm off to Cheltenham Races for the day. Woo - drinking on a school day.
Considering my knowledge of horses is that they are large, dangerous and taste like old beef; any advice on helping me breaking the bookies hearts?
Or tell me this; if it is the Sport of Kings why are racetracks full of pikeys?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:07, 48 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

And a happy Paddy's Day to you.
In answer to your second question, I reckon it's nostalgia from the caravan/horse fair days. There's not the same outlet in thieving mobile homes.
*terrible discrimination*
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:12, Reply)

Cheltenham was full of knackers yesterday.
Apparently I am cursed for not buying 'the lucky heather'. I suggested she wasn't that lucky or she wouldn't have to be flogging the stuff.
How's yer hole back?
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Hydronephrosis in both kidneys now.
Off to physio referral this morning just in case the back pain isn't kidney related.

Wish I was eating a boul o' stew and sinking a Smithwicks.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

That's a brilliant comeback
*makes mental note*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Reminds me of a standup routine I once saw
along the lines of 'the luck of the Irish? Looking at history, that's not really the kind of luck I'm looking for, thanks all the same...'
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:42, Reply)

Ahhh St. Patrick's Day, when everyone is just a little bit Irish
except for the gays and the Italians
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:19, Reply)

If by "a little bit Irish" you mean "drunk", then yes.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:29, Reply)

Good enough.
And the gays and Italians are welcome too.
Right - I'm off. Time for a pint of Arthur and a bacon sammidge.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:30, Reply)

Nice! Enjoy.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:34, Reply)

How dare you?
No Irish in me, sonny Jim.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

Would you like some?
*winks*
(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:35, Reply)

*bokes*
My thoughts go out to you on this difficult day - it must be awful being such a horrendous lightweight.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:40, Reply)

I'm standing by the lack of Irishness in my own family
Perhaps just in response to the way the Americans decide they're all Irish on this day.

An Irish colleague did just chide me for my lack of dedication to the cause, but as I pointed out, I'm not Irish. I'm just English. I'll do my celebrating on April 23rd*, thank you very much.

Nevertheless, a Happy St Paddy's Day to all of you who are actually Irish.

*_{Having said that, I'm also not in the slightest bit religious, so going for a drink on a Patron Saint's Day might be a tad hypocritical...}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 9:56, Reply)

Sentimental alcoholism and religious intolerance! Woo!
My best friend is an Irishman who told me that the Irish are biggest racists and most fervently anti-immigration folk he's ever encountered - at which point my irony-ometer burst into flames.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:01, Reply)

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just celebrating my country's Patron Saint, whose actual significance I strongly doubt"
(I suppose, at least, dragon-slaying is a good metaphor for continuing to oppress the taffs)
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:03, Reply)

they oppress themselves these days
we can just leave them to it
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:49, Reply)

They DEpress me.
Ever been to Kilburn?

*shudders*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

I have not

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:59, Reply)

I went into a pub in Kilburn with my brother once
There was a bare-knuckle fight on in the back room.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

And he's been in this country how long?
Having said that, when I went to Derry recently I went for a walk and accidentally strolled into Bogside. I've never felt quite so unwelcome in another country*, to the point where I resolved that the best course of action was to keep calm, walk back in the other direction and not let anyone hear my accent.

*_{Ok, I know NI is technically still British, but...you know...meh}
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

*weeps with uncontrollable laughter*
There's not a real place called 'Bogside', surely?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Yup
Unless I'm much mistaken, I think it's where the Bloody Sunday tragedy occurred. You know, just to add some real gravitas to the story.

So Bogside in Londonderry (sorry, the racist in me must be having an off-day) has lots of murals depicting the incident and "You are now entering Free Derry" daubed on other walls. It's quite frightening to walk round when your own family's so English there's a village with the same name in the East Midlands.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Well you wouldn't fucking pay for it.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:53, Reply)

Ha! Very good

(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:58, Reply)

I always think Gaelic looks like drunk typing.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Is that how you ended up with your real name?

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Pretty much,
my parents were probably drunk.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

i thought about you at the weekend
as i was very near milton keynes. i am sure you have better things to remind people of you, but that was what did it for me.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:06, Reply)

you should have come and said hello,
where abouts were you?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:08, Reply)

well that might have been a bit difficult
as i have no idea what you look like, where you live, or what your name is... but i said it in my head. i was at whittlebury hall, my friend was running the silverstone half marathon.
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:14, Reply)

You should have wandered around shouting PSYCHOCHOMP!!!
I would have heard you eventually.
Did you have a good time?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

she did bloody well in the half marathon
so did i, scoffing pic'n'mix at the finish line. could you make MK a bit warmer next time, please?

the hotel was nice (do you know it?) but dreadfully run. i complained politely and got a free weekend there in a club suite and free dinner in the swanky restaurant, so i will be back at some point!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I'll turn the heating up.
I've not been to the hotel, so I have no idea. Are you going to invite me for the weekend away?
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

sounds like it to me
and you haven't even been pandering!

edit: apart from that heating comment
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:40, Reply)

Real pandering would have been "I'll keep you warm swipey ;)"
but I'm not a cunt, so I didn't say that.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

that would have been unpleasant all round
well done for not stooping to that level.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:50, Reply)

well
that would naturally be my first thought, yes. however, my friend might not be quite so keen on the whole three-in-a-room scenario. although she is 6', blonde, and built like a walking barbie doll, so you might not mind i guess!
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

well gaz me when you think you're going and I can show you the WONDERS of the city of dreams.
Translation: get you drunk in a chain pub
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:59, Reply)

i am waiting for the hotel to confirm my ill-gotten freebie gains
then i will let you know. does this mean i have to drink blue WKD or something?
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 12:25, Reply)

No, I'll take you to one of the more classy of the pub/bar chains
like All Bar One, or Slug and Lettuce.
(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 12:27, Reply)

remember i am a northerner
don't make it too classy for me, innit
( rachelswipe with a fork, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 12:52, Reply)

That's not going to be a problem.

(PsychoChomp, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 13:08, Reply)

zing

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Because horses are made from coins.

( Undulating Tentacles of Love getting fun down to acceptable levels, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

In answer to your first question:
Murder their children.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

This should be the answer
to any person related question.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

When I went to Mussleburgh
I used a few of those racing websites for hot tips. They actually done me well and I won a reasonable figure of cash!

But when I think of horse-racing the song by the Pogues 'Bottle of Smoke' always runs through my head.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Happy Paddys' Day, Tuggers!
and the rest of yiz whether yiz like it or not! Now, which one of you fuckers wants a fight?
(bazmorningstar efil4nat3b, Wed 17 Mar 2010, 12:39, Reply)