BA Science Silver crest award
In highschool for making year sevens eat funny coloured cake.
Then the Gold one in college for intentionally spilling blood, semen and saliva on things and then making a presentation about it.

Oh, and more gymnastics awards than I know what to do with.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:01, 2 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Presenting human secretions isn't really science, is it?
Perhaps you labelled it or something.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:11, Reply)

I was in a forensics lab,
So I had to test for them at different dilutions on different surfaces. There was labelling involved, yes.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:18, Reply)

A bit CSI then,
I withdraw my patronising comment.
( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Withdrawl noted.
Most boring three weeks of my life. Although I did get £300 for it.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:28, Reply)

I spill blood, semen and saliva every day, and I've never been given an award for it.
I shouldn't do it in Tesco, I know, but from now on I shall scream "THIS IS SCIENCE" while I'm doing it.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:19, Reply)

Ah, but do you dress up smartly
And make presentations about it afterwards?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:21, Reply)

If by 'smartly' you mean 'naked'
and by 'presentation' you mean 'spread it over the frozen peas', then yes.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:24, Reply)

Then I can't imagine why no one's given you an award for it.

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:27, Reply)

I KNO, RITE?

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

OMG, YEH!

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

You should have been given a ASBO,
which is a badge of honour apparently.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Do you actually get a badge with an ASBO?
Otherwise, I can't imagine why I'd want one.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:30, Reply)

I think you get a certificate.
You can frame it if you want.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

COS IT MAKE U LYK RELY COOLLL LYK!!!!!!
N AL UR HOMIEZZZ WUD B LYK WLL JELUSSSS MAYTE!!!1!1!! LMAO!!!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

That's a terrible chav impression,
it isn't even in caps.
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:35, Reply)

I can't physically be that retarded.
I'll have another go. This may hurt.

Edit: Better?
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:36, Reply)

That's better, you need to take an agressive and random attitude to punctuation too.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Right.
Bloody hell, it actually takes more time and effort to type like a retarded monkey with no fingers than it does like a normal person.
Why on earth do they bother.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:41, Reply)

iTZ pRT UF aRE MUDERN UFE cULTRE!
ITZ A vL1D FRM UF XPRESSUN!!!! PML!!!!
(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:44, Reply)

totally clicking my own posts today.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:47, Reply)

You're so cool!

(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

Not quite what I was going to say...

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

I bet you were going to say something really nice.

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:57, Reply)

Yeah, really really nice.
Although, you've already had the nice post I said I'd give you in return for that smiley.


So maybe not. You'll never know now.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:02, Reply)

*pops collar*

(PsychoChomp, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

In that case, modern culture is shit.
Lets have a mass cull of anyone in gold bling and/or and fake tan.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:48, Reply)

Indeed
Your comment has to be barely legible to pass for chav-speak… OMGGG!!?! wot hap2 Kev!!!?! LOL! he total woz banged up bi fuckpigs LOLLLLL!! Wantgo set fire bin of grannies l8r LOL!!!!!!?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:39, Reply)

Translation:
Oh my gosh, What has happened to Kevin? It was highly amusing, he was arrested by two policemen who were just doing their jobs. Oh, how it makes me laugh.
Would you care to engage in a bit of pyromania with me later involving a waste receptacle and several grandmothers? It will be hilaroius!
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:46, Reply)

Exactly!
Crumbs maybe you should work for the police as some sort of chav translator! You could put that shit on your CV. Translates fluent-bollocks.! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:49, Reply)

Ooo, thats a good idea.
I could charge by the hour and everything. Extra when I have to actually come in contact with the fuckers.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:53, Reply)

herein lies the problem,
you might actually have to speak to the chavvy people… are you up for that?
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:55, Reply)

I'd do it, if they were suitably restrained.
But I'd spend every second of it wanting to kill them, and then myself.
Hence the large fee.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 12:01, Reply)

Hmmm...
Its only a badge of honour to the Fiesta ST driving, Fake-Burberry wearing, spotty, twatty, hooded, slack-jawed fuck-tards that crave it.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:31, Reply)

Are you OK Flimmers?
You are not usually part of the angry-brigade.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:38, Reply)

Yeah I’m fine thanks.
I’m a little bit angry today (only a little mind) because I pierced a hole in my arm with a rusty binder at work… booooo – this was not intentional. I’m dressed like an emo today but I’ve not taken on their self-harming traits.
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:43, Reply)

Good.
Because I consider you the 'Anti-Monty'.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Geeee
thanks! :)
(Flim-Flam the Magnificent "You is talking loco and I like it!", Fri 19 Mar 2010, 11:45, Reply)