So, I went to my ex wife's funeral yesterday
It was a bit of a wierd feeling, but I’m glad I went. I got to pay my respects, and also to catch up with a lot of people I haven’t seen for yonks, all of whom seemed genuinely pleased to see me. I even got an invite for Sunday lunch from her aunt, with the missus included in that invite. That was nice.

The pub after was a bit surreal, though. Lots of photos of her life plastered around the room. As I was looking at one of a mate’s wedding, I commented to the bride in the picture who was standing next to me, that it seemed like it was ages ago. “Yeah”, said the bride. “You were on that photo, you know”. I looked at it again, and sure enough, I had been snipped off the end. Oh, how we laughed, etc.

*EDIT* On thinking about it, this could be a contender for this week's QOTW.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:06, 7 replies, latest was 15 years ago)

It must be weird being at the funeral of someone you once loved.
Glad to hear it went without incident.
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

It was.
Like I said, nice to catch up with some old faces.

Her family didn't seem very impressed by the eulogy though.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Who read the eulogy and why didn't they like it?

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:17, Reply)

Her husband. He also wrote it.
They didn't like it because the day was billed as being a celebration of her life and all he did was talk about the last four years, i.e. his life with her. He even snubbed her mum's sister when mentioning all the people she loved and cared about.

I didn't twig this until afterwards. I thought he did OK under the circumstances, but can see why some people might be a bit upset with him.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:23, Reply)

Ah I see
I had to do my Nana's but I made sure I got lots of old stories and mentioned her siblings/friends and stuff.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Personally, if it had been me
I would have asked if friends and family wanted to say a few words during the service rather than the focus being all about me, me, me.

As her uncle said to me afterwards, "I thought she was 40, not 4".
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:35, Reply)

Good for you. Glad it all went well and that there was no trouble.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:11, Reply)

Bloody hell doc!
Where have you been hiding?
( girlinthehole, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Hi Blousie
I've been hiding in the land of the unemployed. Not a good place for me to be honest, but I'm getting better now.
(Herr Doktor Lemminge Is bored, so cheer me up!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

Were you tempted
to break out a rendition of "Ding Dong The Witch is Dead"?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

Nah.
I was in a different room at the crematorium anyway, keeping a low profile.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I feel bad now as everyone else was being serious
I'm sorry for your loss
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:15, Reply)

As if you can keep a low profile in that fanatastic coat.

( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I wore a cream suit and a magnificent beard.
And a bright red jumper that just screamed "LOOK AT ME!"
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:25, Reply)

Well Done DG

( Bartleby A dead man on vacation, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:12, Reply)

so the new husband
didn't cause a big Coronation Street scene then?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Nope.
Even said hello to me.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

So you did not hit him with a prosthetic cock?
You missed a great opportunity there.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:35, Reply)

My mind was on other things.
Like the free beer at the bar. It would have been rude in the face of such hospitality.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:37, Reply)

Tsk - bloody morality.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 11:29, Reply)

Ouch
well, whats done is done sir, but you certainly have a good woman and life now
(Halfy By light alone, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:13, Reply)

I do, don't I?
Had things been different that would have been me standing up there, yesterday. I hope to not be in that position for a good few years yet!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Ma is never leaving us
And neither are you. Basically I have constructed a Davros type device that means you can live forever.

Obviously I was on a budget so it's made out of a wheelie bin with a plunger gaffer taped on. I also found a glowing lightsabre in a pound shop that makes noises and everything for the other "arm" I reckon you can train Mildrew to pull you around in it
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Hoorays!
In other news, I may be tempted to join Facebook as a result of yesterday as it seems that's how everyone is keeping in touch with each other. Sad times.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:34, Reply)

Don't give in!
I too saw this temptation, and all my friends kept warning me that I'd miss out on all the important things. But I didn't. I persisted, and now facebook is littered with photos of me from all my friends' accounts, yet I remain this ghostly, un-named figure, drifting around in the background of everybody else's account. In this way I feel I have transcended this facebook witchcraft. Stick with it and become another of the Facebook Ghosts.
(LongJohnBaldry, Wed 24 Mar 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Testing...
Nope, that didn't work.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 24 Mar 2010, 21:28, Reply)