Properly pissed, New Year's Eve 1996.
With her at the local pub, it approaches midnight and I peek over the back of the bench to see where she is so I can line up a midnight fondle and she's chatting to a guy we know at the bar. She sees me looking and storms over to the table, accuses me of spying on her and shouts I've got nothing to be paranoid about, she's not seeing anyone else. This, in front of a packed pub just before midnight New Year's Eve. She keeps shouting and eventually dumps me and storms off back to the bar. With a tear in my eye I head for the door and one of the regulars winks at me and says 'She's shagging him, y'know' and nods at her and this guy she's with at the bar. I walk back to her place because that's where I'm staying the night and I'm crying and her mum makes me some hot chocolate and I cycle home. I only fell off twice.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:14, 4 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

: (

( girlinthehole, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:15, Reply)

I know.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:19, Reply)

You should have shagged her mum.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:21, Reply)

This is why time machines should be free for everyone.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:25, Reply)

Totally.
You could go back even further in time, shagged her mum and been her father.
That would teach her (probably).
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:41, Reply)

Crazy Time Incest

( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:45, Reply)

Wasn't that a CD by TLC?

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:47, Reply)

I don't know
but there was a book called 'Up the Line' by Robert Heinlein with a character who time-travelled and shagged all his female relatives in the past (not his mum or grandmum but everyone before that'
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:50, Reply)

I will check that out.
And if you want a book about freezing time for sexual gratification I heartily recommend The Fermata by Nicholson Baker; an easy summer read and rather enjoyable.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:55, Reply)

I'll make a note of that
sounds unusual. Cheers
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:57, Reply)

skank
we should fuck that cunts shit right up
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:20, Reply)

You get an 'A' for swearing today.

(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

Odd thing is we got on incredibly well and had brilliant sex.
I think her parents liked me too much so she flicked me for someone they could disapprove of.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:23, Reply)

you should've flicked her in her fat fucking forehead
the hatchet faced cunt
sorry, just feeling especially aggressive, I think it's all the alcohol brewing in me
( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:26, Reply)

Did you swallow yeast and cocoa puffs?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:28, Reply)

cocoa puffs would be soooooooo good right now

( Lisette von Falcon, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Chocolate milk
...that will sort you out.
(Tugnut Ex of this parish, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:43, Reply)

You poor thing :(

(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:22, Reply)

I put a hole in my favourite jeans and got grazes on my elbows :(

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:24, Reply)

Haha, that's the kind of burn I was looking for !

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:29, Reply)

Happy to be of service, gonz.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:30, Reply)

Only kiddin' mate, I reckon that would have been horrific.
I've done the "Shit, I'm in a strange city staying at this girl's place, and all I want to do is catch the next flight home" thing before.
( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:33, Reply)

Banter innit.
Yeah, it was pretty shit, but looking back on it I find amusement in how sad it is.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Fri 26 Mar 2010, 13:37, Reply)