All hail the good and mighty Cr3
This fine b3tard has just given me a leg-up over the work fire-wall after some scrote put razor-wire over the top. He provided a ladder, grapnel, rope, blankets to put over the razor-wire and even an old mattress so that the drop down the other side was comfortable.

Hats off to that man - I was b3ta-less for less than a day.

So, if you could have two scoops of any flavour ice-cream, what would you choose? Me: prunes with Armagnac and cantaloupe melon.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:09, 135 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Lebanese Hashish, and an incredible green apple sorbet I once had in Rome

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

I would not dare try that
one time I went to Rome and had a bad experience with a green gelato
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:21, Reply)

Isn't Rome absolutely incredible though?
I love that city. Were it not for the language barrier I might well consider moving there.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Fantastic
best holidays of my life. I'm there for two or three weeks this summer, since I plan that my thesis shall be on the Julio-Claudians
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:33, Reply)

Mine was on pre-Roman British Religion.
Lucky you. I might try and go back to Rome in the autumn as I struggle with really hot weather.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:38, Reply)

I really want a chance
to maybe see Nero's revolving room. Did you hear they found the possible site/mechanism?
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:43, Reply)

I didn't! Excellent.
I've always been fascinated by his water organ.

YES EVERYONE, HA HA.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 12:50, Reply)

That sounds disgusting

I would have caramel malteser crunch and black berry and apple crumble, both from the little ice-cream shop on Salcomb high street.
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:11, Reply)

this ice cream sounds best of all
but make it strawberry crumble. I really want to go to the ice cream place, now. The one good thing about south wales is the availability of ice cream
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

I heard he has balls of steel and they clack when he walks.
My favourite icecream is pistachio. I'd quite like to try marijuana icecream in a cone made from roast beef Monster Munch.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

roast beef monster munch
noone likes those, pickled onion, man!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:41, Reply)

Well if roast beef flavour is good enough
for the singer of Herman's Hermits, it's good enough for me.

NB I WILL NEVER STOP CRACKING THIS JOKE. NEVER.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

roast beef are the fucking shiznit
you spastic
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

like any beef based crisp
they are wrong wrong wrong and the ones which get left in the multipack to moulder until such time as you are REALLY hungry at which point you open them smell that rancid beefy smell and throw them away.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Try a fresh pack of Seabrook's beef crisps
then come back 'ere and say that.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

beef flavour=wrong
/has not tried them yet
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

You won't like them.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

No. YOU are wrong
The best ever crisp was Brannigan's Roast Beef and Mustard.

End of.
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:51, Reply)

WRONG on the internet.
While pickled onion have their merits, their acidic flavour would overpower the gentle notes of marijuana and pistachio from the icecream.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

after mulling this over for some time
it seems to me that no good crisps would work for this recipe.
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:05, Reply)

Look, all I want is a pistachio and marijuana icecream with a cone made from roast beef Monster Munch.
Please tread carefully on my dreams.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:06, Reply)

STOMP STOMP STOMP

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Aw man.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:10, Reply)

I would suggest good old Salt and Vinegar

as they are effectively a condiment
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:08, Reply)

Two scoops of a really good vanilla icecream.
I have simple tastes.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:13, Reply)

Is that why you flirted with Monty?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:16, Reply)

No, that is why I flirted with you.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:19, Reply)

Chocolate and Mint Choc Chip
although I had some lovely blood-orange gellato in Sydney last year. It was more like sorbet than ice cream.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:14, Reply)

you cunt
I was just about to reply with chocolate and mint choc chip
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:15, Reply)

I'm not stopping you
or am I? oR aM i? OR AM I? Or am I? or AM i?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

yes

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

I had chocolate and mint choc chip
in Morpeth and it was yummy. Bestest of all the ice creams.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:21, Reply)

*high fives*
it is indeed
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

Are we being nice to each other now?
I may need some time to adjust
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:26, Reply)

Hello TGB.
Shall we play nicely too? It may cause a rift in the space/time continuum but let's try, shall we?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)

play frot.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I'm aways nice to you Monty
you just insist on being mean to me :(
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:33, Reply)

Oh. Sorry.
Look, I haven't corrected your spelling gaffe below. It's a start, right?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:36, Reply)

no amount of horribleness can get past the uniting forces of chocolate and mint choc chip ice cream
constant nastiness is a bit passé, but there's no point going round being all nice to each other all the time.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:39, Reply)

Yeah, you fucking cunt.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

*gestures obscenely*

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

You'll have someone's eye out with that, young man.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:46, Reply)

Ice cream always tastes better by the sea.

( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:22, Reply)

cf chips.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Don't mention the 'Rum and...' that Lab had though.
Oops...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:27, Reply)

Oh no
we never get a picture of someone eating rum and raisin ice cream in Cornwall *sadface*
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:29, Reply)

Did you get a pastie and a cream tea?

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:33, Reply)

I ate a million pasties
and one cream tea
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:34, Reply)

We brought back scones and stuff from that shop and ate them yesterday
and they were excellent. Did you go to the pastie van in the car park?
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:38, Reply)

That shop?
Trago Mills? Best of all the shops
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

it's an awful place
it partly burned down a while ago, and I heard that the only thing not burnt in the burned down part was a box of trago mills own-brand firelighters
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Pengenna's
The pastie shop whose pasties I said you should avoid.
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Well now I have the horn for ice cream
good job everyone, I just need Monty to talk about griddle pans and steak and the circle of gluttony will be complete.

Now where did I put those mini-eggs?
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

man
I've been griddling the hell out of everything recently

it's boss
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

I keep reading that as
"grinding"
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I've been doing that too
meeting you left me massively horny
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

Haha
V, my head touched her tit! IN YOUR FACE!
( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

my envy knows no bounds

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Her tit was in Vipros' face?
*confused*
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:33, Reply)

I am incredibly sexy

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Not a massive fan of ice-cream
But Vanilla IS the nicest.
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:20, Reply)

I would get some banana ice cream
mix them with chocolate bananas and walnuts and eat it all in one sitting. That would be the best ice cream of all time. Why yes, I just happen to have some in my freezer right now.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:28, Reply)

Look at you,
showing off with your 'time off work' and all.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:31, Reply)

Damn straight. I have a week off work and BOOOOOOOOOBS
I like both of these
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:32, Reply)

I'm off tomorrow
Because today is my wedding anniversary. Work that one out.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:37, Reply)

They've changed the Doc Who theme?
But I liked the
OOOOOOooooOOOOOOOOooooo(dundundundun)OOOOooooooOOOOOOOOO(dundundunn)
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

It's the same theme
just a different arrangement and it's utterly shit. It sounds tinny and flat and has a totally different intro. And choristers wailing halfway through.

This makes me sad.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

Shall I phone you up when it's next on and
wail the old theme at you?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

I'll just turn the sound down
And hum it whilst rocking gently back and forward.

A bit like the mahoosive fat bloke we saw in York on Saturday, sitting on the minster steps.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

Its so you can recreate your honeymoon at home

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:44, Reply)

Oh, yeah...
I probably should have taken today as well but I'm trying to keep some leave back for later in the year.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

I like bananas
But not banana flavoured things.
I cannot understand why this is so.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:43, Reply)

Fact of the day
People who like coffee do not like coffee creme chocolates.
People who do not like coffee like coffee creme chocolates.
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I kind of like both
WORK THAT ONE OUT!
( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:46, Reply)

I agree with this

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Get yourself some Ben and Jerry's Chunky monkey anyway

( fuck shit up the best you never had, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I wouldn't like it :(

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

because they never taste of banana

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:45, Reply)

I can only eat bananas when they are just under ripe and don't taste so bananery.
true fact.
( girlinthehole, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

bananas are the most loathsome thing on the planet
even worse than Monty and people who like U2

I strongly suspect that Bono is related to a banana
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:47, Reply)

Is it because they're slightly phallic and you're a massive homophobe?

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:48, Reply)

phobe

He's a gay racist and they remind him of RAPANESE COCKS.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:50, Reply)

the shape and colour are the only things about bananas that I don't find repulsive
I'm confused by your apparent "make vipros out to be a homophobe" agenda
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:51, Reply)

Calling you smug is getting dull.

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

fair enough

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I agree about the bananas thing.
In fact, most fruit can just fuck off (and yes, a banana is a herb not a fruit but fuck it they're all lumped in together).
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:52, Reply)

Banana is a fucking herb?
What???
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

and they move about

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:53, Reply)

a bit

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

more than most plants

( Citizen Cavy Admires your passion for conformity, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Apart from triffids

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

mindpiss

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

It doesn't have any viable seeds.
Fruit are meant to have seeds yadayada.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

they've been bred out though
for eating purposes. you can still get seeded bananas. they look freaky
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

*shrugs*
It's not something I ever want to talk about in depth.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

TOO LATE!

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:58, Reply)

Yup
It was on QI so it must be true.

I think.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:57, Reply)

I'm starting to believe QI
is full of lies. I refuse to believe EVERYTHING I know is wrong
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:59, Reply)

Your face is wrong

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

Why are you here?
Fuck off.

Oh actually, would you like to go to Alton Towers on the 17th?
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:16, Reply)

Are you propositioning me?
I'm going this weekend as part of a Stag Do. I MAY be up for the 17th...
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

Maybe?

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:18, Reply)

Depends if I can afford it
Who else is going?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Well I have a
half price ticket thing.

Evil Pixie, Slovakian Tom, Girly Hannah and Not Sure If You Have Met Him Rich
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:22, Reply)

Nor have I met Hannah
Is she fit?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:24, Reply)

She is very very very girly

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:26, Reply)

Too girly for me?
I guess what it comes down to is: Are her boobs bigger than her belly?
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:30, Reply)

Yeah
She is very skinny. I dunno why I keep hanging out with stupidly thin people
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:32, Reply)

It's alright, you hang out with me too
*cries and punches gut while eating cheeseburgers*
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:35, Reply)

it's a fruit isn't it?
the non-eating variety have seeds in
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:54, Reply)

Me too.
How could you be a homophobe AND a colossal bender?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

I hate you
so very much

and I am a bit scared of you

guess that does make me a homophobe
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

AND you're a colossal bender.
It's just not your day, is it?
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:12, Reply)

it's never my day

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:13, Reply)

It's ironic anal

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:56, Reply)

I like bananas and breasts

( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:55, Reply)

Just butterscotch crunch
It's my new favourite after having it by the river on Easter Sunday
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:40, Reply)

Pistachio and Vanilla

(PsychoChomp, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 10:42, Reply)

Rum and

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:12, Reply)

I read this as
Rum and Labia Majora flavour
( Naked Ape call me Caitlyn, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:16, Reply)

I wouldn't mind licking rum off some nubile lady's flaps

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

That would sting a bit, surely?

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:25, Reply)

Not me it wouldn't

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:31, Reply)

I had a colleague
Who liked to go down on his missus when he had a coldsore because he liked the stinging sensation. Quite aside from the oral herpes bit… Eeeeew!
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:36, Reply)

That's vile

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Isn't it?
That was 15 years ago and I still shudder.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:50, Reply)

Lab tastes of haribo
I've licked him in his sleep
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:17, Reply)

I thought that was Mildew

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:19, Reply)

she is a bit mouldy...

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:22, Reply)

I cilit banged myself at the weekend just for you

( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:27, Reply)

FILTH

( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:31, Reply)

how sweet
I thought the odour that I'd been warned about was rather subdued
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:37, Reply)

Coffee icecream
and mint
( Amberl was stripey and dominated Europe, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:20, Reply)

Bourbon Biscuit Ice Cream with bits of biscuit in it.
Or, failing that, two scoops of Vanilla with a chocolate digestive crunched up on to it, and then smooshed around with a spoon til it goes all melty and you have a vanilla chocolate biscuit sort of soup.
( Devil_In_Tights the *real* DiT!, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:44, Reply)

Could I have that one please
but with ginger nuts as well as choccy digies?
(Che Grimsdale Best before:, Thu 8 Apr 2010, 11:56, Reply)