*ping* new thread
Thought I'd better not steal TGB's ding so I'm doing an own-brand version of ripping it off.

I'm going to go on a scuba diving taster session in May because I want to learn how to scuba dive.

What do you want to do before you're 30? If you're over 30, what do you want to do before you die, which will probably be shortly?
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:06, 69 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Your mum

(PsychoChomp, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:06, Reply)

but why?
she says you were rubbish
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

I want to cough up a load of black bile all over the place.

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:07, Reply)

You do every day on here.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

that's lovely

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

Thanks!

( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Be contented.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:07, Reply)

that'll only start when you stop picking at yourself
edit: I didn't mean literally, that would be gross.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

I'm fucked then.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

stoppit!
positive thinking, that's what's needed.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

I'm positive that I'm fucked.

( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Not as often as you'd like. Badum TISH!

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Why do want to taste scuba divers?

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:08, Reply)

to see if they taste like penguins
or of arrogance and superiority
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:09, Reply)

I expect they taste a bit salty

(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

that would be the arrogance

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Anyway, to answer your question: since I'm under 30
I have a simple, four-step programme for the rest of my life:
1. Find a reasonably lucrative career which is more interesting than the one I've blundered into
2. Save up money to help friend open up microbrewery
3. Marry Geike Arnaert, Joanne Shaw Taylor or nearest equivalent
4. Die of liver failue and a surfeit of sex by the time I'm...ooh, I don't know, 40?

Some might suggest I've set the bar a bit high with this one...
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I'd like to do the first one
followed by the second one, but amended to coffee and book shop.
3. I'd like to emigrate to Australia
4. Open up a bar on a lovely Aussie beach (which the boyfriend wants to make a bar/internet cafe so he can call it the Surf n Surf...)
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Oh, that's a good point
Should I plan to emigrate as well? I decided I need a warmer climate after this last winter...maybe point number 5 should include uprooting and sneaking off to Italy or the South of France.

Or we could set up the brewery in Aus, and sell the beer at your bar to show the Aussies what proper beer should taste like.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

that's full of win
although people tell me that Fosters that is actually brewed in Australia is delicious.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

Supposedly the Stella Artois served in Belgium is a hell of a lot nicer than the fizzy piss we get over here
Mainly, I believe, because it's actually made in Belgium, rather than North Wales. I can imagine the same might therefore be true of Foster's...though I shall remain sceptical for now.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:57, Reply)

we should ask Legless

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:02, Reply)

I want a porsche

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

why, do you think you're getting less smug and need a boost?

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

no, I just really like them

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

there's not much boot space
for all your croissants
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:16, Reply)

there's enough :-P

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:17, Reply)

Porsche drivers are twats
Although they are great for bullying people out the way, I was following one today and got to work in superfast time
( TGB checking Off Topic is still shit at, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:41, Reply)

I just love the look of them
and they are decent well-made cars

it is unfortunate that they are driven by twats. Although the only two people I actually know who drive them are really nice guys.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:44, Reply)

Is that the dive club at Muff?
That's where I would like to get a PADI license. How cool would that stamp be?
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

yeah
on the Isle of Lesbos
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:10, Reply)

No. Really.
www.muffdivingclub.net/
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

jesus christ that thing's real?!
it's so laden with innuendo.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

Exactly the point I think.
You learn to dive in the local harbour.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I've been to Muff
they keep getting the roadsign nicked
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 5:42, Reply)

get a lap dance from a porn star

( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:11, Reply)

I want to go to a lapdancing club
I've never been and I'm curious.

Like curious interested, not bi/curious
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I must get back into scuba diving.
Pointless having thousands of pounds worth of kit hanging in the shed and not using it.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

Losing weight will help ; )

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:12, Reply)

It's been mostly laziness and circumstance
that has prevented me dunking myself in the North Sea for the last 5 years :(
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

I wanted to make a joke about the car from Knightrider
but I can't think of one.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:15, Reply)

Well whatever it is
I've got less than a month to do it :(
( djtrialprice, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:13, Reply)

I hear it was Roota
so you can tick that off your list fnar fnar
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:14, Reply)

Saucy little minx!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

hehehe
I like jumping on bandwagons
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

And you get away with it
because of your minxiness.
And also because you're totally right. What else could he possibly achieve, right?
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)

talk about setting the bar low.....

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:27, Reply)

'Ere!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

it's true
on his grave it'll say "beloved son, brother, Rootafucker"
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:27, Reply)

You just made me gasp all over the office
Naughty girl!!
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

haha
just wait for the strikethroughs on that one
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

You are pure filth today Kitty
More than usual.
I like it.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

I think she's stolen my filth crown.
I haven't been my usually filthy self recently : (
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)

You haven't actually

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)

I know.
I'm sorry. I need to pull myself together at some point.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

FILTH THE FUCK UP!

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

ha FTFU

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:03, Reply)

I tried to pull myself round.
But my wrist hurts.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

I really want to visit India.
But I hate hot weather, crowds and insects. I'm thinking Goa is my best bet or northern India.
( girlinthehole, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

Just wear an all over mozzie net
and take one of those 99p handheld fan things.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

There are a couple of things on my to do list.
Sky dive.
Bungee jump of the Corinth Canal bridge.
Spend the night in a haunted and/or abandoned house/asylum.
Fire a flaming sheep out of a catapult.
Work in a level 4 lab.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:26, Reply)

I don't understand this fascination with throwing oneself off things
I've had to vigorously campaign not to go bloody coasteering for my oldest friend's stag do, because the thought of jumping off cliffs is abhorrent.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I skydived (dove?) once for charity
it was horrific. I hated every second. Fortunately, there were only about 15 of them where I was plummeting to earth at some unholy speed, the rest was quite pretty.

Made me even paler than usual though and the guy I was strapped to said I swore a lot for a lady.

My friends all thought it was awesome though.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

What is a level 4 lab?
My lab is on the 7th floor - does that make it a level 7 lab?
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Labs dealing with biological hazards and infectious disease are classified into 4 levels.
Biosafety Level 4 is the highest, and deals with the really nasty shit that have no vaccine or cure and very high mortality rates, like Ebola or Marburg, and the workers have to wear the full biohazard suits and breathing equipment.
(Applebite Uh! A cow!, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:43, Reply)

I'm really glad
my lab's on the ground floor. :-)

We do have some dangerous stuff there, mind you. HF is the worst. Nasty shit.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:48, Reply)

I know a couple of chaps who work in one of those
they absolutely love it

interesting eh?
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 14:51, Reply)

that's because they get to pretend they're the guys who come to take ET away

( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Tue 13 Apr 2010, 15:04, Reply)

I want to
piss, puke, cum, shit, cough, sneeze, burp and fart at the same time.
(knackerz is skinning up, Wed 14 Apr 2010, 5:50, Reply)