The last time I had a smear, the nurse screamed.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:17, 1 reply, 16 years ago)

Once when I had a smear
The weird cow said she liked my cervix and offered me a MIRROR.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:18, Reply)

Goddamit woman!
You seem to have it all. Including a damn fine cervix.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:19, Reply)

What is the point of having a 'fine' cervix?
No fucker can see it.
I'd rather lose the cellulite and have a bumpy cervix.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Well I'd like to have a damn fine something.
Although I don't have cellulite as it's genetic. Even when I was a porker I didn't get it.
( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:21, Reply)

Even when I weighed 6st 2lb
I had cellulite.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Ha! I finally have you beat at something.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:25, Reply)

You have not beaten me at apathy

( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:25, Reply)

I'm sorry to hear that.

( girlinthehole, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

I got told my cervix was "fabulous",
which I think implied scatter cushions and a feather boa.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:20, Reply)

Jesus, is it some kind of conspiracy?
"Tell them their cervixes are well fit and they'll keep coming back."
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I had my first one a few weeks ago
and she took twenty minutes trying to do it and couldn't so I had to go back a week later. She said it was because my cervix was all turned around, but maybe it was because she liked it so much she wanted to do it twice.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

Haha there was one who kept saying "I can't get it in"
So I suggested a glass of wine and to put Kings of Leon on.
( Roota zweeeeeoooooowm, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)

haha
it was my first time so I was too scared to make jokes. Although at one point she bashed my piercing and it hurt so I asked her to be careful and she said "my daughter's just had her belly button pierced" and I said "that's where it starts, it's all down hill from there, literally, haha". She didn't laugh. She's probably locked her daughter up now.
( Kitty v1.0 desperately naive, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)

Best. Chat up. Line. EVER.

( G/PP 💩💩💩💩💩&#128, Mon 19 Apr 2010, 14:36, Reply)