THERE ARE TOO MANY TYPES OF SAND
and the guy at Travis Perkins laughed at me because I didn't know which to buy.
SAND IS STRESSFUL.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:20, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

Throw different types on Kaol.
First to make him cry wins.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:22, Reply)

I'd pay to watch that.
Premium rate and everything.
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Nah, he'll use the sand to make a bomb or something.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:26, Reply)

Not these days...
not now he's living with a professional mong-wrangler.
( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

I still wouldn't venture into his shed without a fireproof suit.

( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Or witnesses.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

Office LoL at Mong-Wrangler.
Misappropriates for future use.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:29, Reply)

she is actually a mong-wrangler though

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I took it to mean special needs teacher or carer or somesuch.

(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:33, Reply)

that is correct

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

This was a wellgroomedwookiee phrase.

( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

I shall accept my royalties in the form of beer.

(wellgroomedwookiee is a filthy-minded hobgoblin, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:37, Reply)

Okey doke!

( thealternativefact, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:38, Reply)

Clicked hard.

( Noeli overtheshoulderboulderholderthingstraplatchboobs, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:55, Reply)

I agree with this statement.
I had to put sand in the base of my basketball hoop, took two and a half fucking hours for 2 bags because I had to scoop it up by hand and crumble it because it was wet and wouldn't pour ffs
( Lisette von Falcon, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

Ask TGB
A sand connoisseur. Uses buckets of the stuff for grip.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:23, Reply)

I think you should tell that sand to FUCK RIGHT OFF.
Stare the Travis Perkins guy down until he volunteers the type of sand most suitable to your requirements.
(LongJohnBaldry, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:24, Reply)

I hate Travis Perkins
I bought a bag of cement from them, and the bloke out back surrounded by building materials sent me into the office to get a chit for the bag of cement and the blokey blokes in there were being blokey and even though I look a bit blokey I only have to open my mouth and everyone knows i'm not blokey...

...I think Homebase is more my thing
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:26, Reply)

The builder said to get it from Travis Perkins cos B&Q sand was too fine.
This stuff has lumps of grit and shells in it. It's blokey sand for sure. I'm worried it's too blokey.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:28, Reply)

Sounds like you're making up some good blokey concrete
I admire your blokeyness (yet fear it at the same time)
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

Only men not comfortable with their masculinity would hide behind their knowledge of various sands to boost their self esteem.
IMHO
( girlinthehole, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:31, Reply)

This has the ring of truth.
I imagine they're all out the back of Travis Perkins building sandcastles (with shell windows).
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:32, Reply)

Oh i'm sure they were all rampent shirters
but they would have beaten me to death with non-branded trade tools had I suggested it
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Tue 20 Apr 2010, 14:34, Reply)